Fine Distinctions - by Tom Condon

Fine Distinctions - by Tom Condon

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This is a discussion on Fine Distinctions - by Tom Condon within the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Excerpted from The Dynamic Enneagram by Tom Condon Copyright 2009, 2013 by Thomas Condon Available as an ebook serial at ...

  1. #1
    Type 4w3

    OrangeAppled, owlet, Coburn and 32 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    Type 4w3

    @Jennywocky @hal0hal0 @bethdeth
    Sticky?

  3. #3

    This is fantastic! I'm definitely spending tomorrow reading through all those pages, lol.

    Um, @Animal , if you don't mind, but could I post the type 4 page on here and highlight what I relate to. I'm having trouble determining my instincts again. Feels like I'm overthinking it all though. " ^ ^ "
    Animal thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    Type 4w3

    Copied this here from my typing thread:

    I will bold what I feel applies to me, cross out what doesn't, leave what is neutral, and italicize my own commentary and put it in red.

    Feel free to do the same! ( @Scarlet Eyes or anyone else)

    ______

    Fine Distinctions – Fours – Tom Condon
    Subtypes

    Self-Preservation Fours
    • Self-Preservation Fours are often risk takers
    (I take major risks for the sake of pursuing my dreams, but not for their own sake or the 'thrill')
    They take chances to stir up emotional intensity, collect new experiences, play out inner dramas or learn about themselves
    (I don't care about collecting new experiences, but I have locked myself in rooms on LSD to do art experiments which would result in me learning about myself. There is no end to what I will do for the sake of learning about myself, expressing myself, etc. It's not about the experiences themselves, unless that experience involves learning more about a guy I'm obsessed with.)
    Open advocates of the passionate life
    Social and artistic courage; the high side of this subtype brings daring
    Healthy Fours with this subtype often feel driven to express an inner vision and find the courage and skill to bring it into the world
    (It would be harder for me NOT to express my inner vision and bring my skills to the world, so I'm not sure I'd call it courage.)
    Often exceedingly practical in ways that support their creative enterprises
    For some their home is an aesthetically soothing refuge, for others home is dank anddepressing, prompting fantasies of beautiful places, a stimulant to envy
    May have possessions they keep for a long time that are charged with symbolism and meaning
    Environmentally sensitive react strongly to their surroundings; fussy and hard toplease about new purchases
    When less healthy, they take self-destructive risks or punish other by hurtingthemselves
    Some can be reckless and openly court disaster while others merely flirt with loss
    (This did apply to me during trauma)
    Sometimes the connection to One is extra strong. Fours with this subtype canharangue themselves in a Oneish way and then rebel with reckless behavior
    Some resist the need to make a living; may hobble themselves with mystery ailmentsthat prevent them from having a “straight job”
    (This is unfair because I have a chronic illness and can't work much, but I do try to work when I can, so no, I've always been productive & pragmatic about things; my condition is not made up or exaggerated; if anything I play it down. yet someone who doesn't know my background might think this)
    Self-Preservation Fours can be mistaken for counterphobic Sixes
    • Some Fours with this subtype struggle with their weight and body image as they relateto identity. Anorexia, overeating or obsessions about food are possible
    (Only during trauma-reaction)


    Intimate Fours
    Intimate Fours love others in a deep way, and possess a sensitive, complex, poetic intelligence about matters of the heart
    This is a highly romantic subtype, visible in the realms of romantic poetry, the troubadour tradition and popular music about love, especially in the lyrics ofconfessional singers
    (I'm romantic in the sense of being in love with beauty, nature, animals, my own animalism, the arts, music especially, realizing my dreams, my suffering, finding/being with my soulmate, but I felt hopeless about love for a long time.)
    Often stay friends with ex-lovers
    • A focus on aesthetics; some Intimate Fours are tasteful, flashy dressers
    Can harbor a fantasy of perfect union, a redemptive love that will heal the wound of being anunwanted outsider
    Prone to jealousy and may be competitive in close relationships as well as generally; can feel like there is only so much love to go around
    Want to be Number One in their beloved’s heart or the only person their partner hasever loved; could be jealous of their partner’s past relationships
    A stronger connection to Two
    May be surprised to discover that their beloved has different needs; they assume mutuality of purpose and are unprepared to negotiate
    Also prone to professional envy and try to best others at work
    (Yes but only in my field of interest such as music and writing and jobs related to that; not at "normal" jobs that are inconsequential to me. That said I was competitive in college in subjects I cared about.)
    May be unable to enjoy their successes without demeaning the achievements of others
    Intimate Fours can resemble Eights just as romantic Intimate Eights can resemble Fours
    • Can believe that without someone to love they are nothing and life is not worth living
    (If I'm not true to myself, life is not worth living. If I don't know what I'm willing to die for, I'm not really alive. It's about my own vision and integrity. The way I conduct myself in love is part of that, but I would not say it isn't worth living if I'm alone - love and obsession is always part of my artistic expression, and if I can't have it in real life I will live vicariously through my art.)
    When in love, images of their partner fill the Four’s awareness and attention. The beloved is a muse, necessary to connect Fours to their own life force
    (This is basically my life motto. "Without a muse, music is just math.")
    May take no responsibility for their life until Mr. or Ms. Right comes along
    (Instead I would build myself up so that I'm more ideal when he does come along.)
    There can be a willful immaturity to this stance, a stubborn refusal to face facts nomatter what the practical costs
    • Can be love addicts who lack the memory of being loved and believe they are condemned to search the world for something or someone to fill them up
    (Sort of. Before I met my soulmate I replayed the memories of my first love over and over. I genuinely loved him, my 8w7 ex.. and I wrote him into characters, I hung on to it)
    Some Intimate Fours act markedly seductive to stave off being rejected
    May engineer rejection by picking unavailable or inappropriate people to become infatuated with
    (More like, the fear of rejection is so strong that it causes me to act in ridiculous ways that result in me getting rejected. )
    A few have ambiguous, confused or exaggerated sexual identities or a chronic identity crisis around their sexuality
    (My male alter-ego and his interaction with the female depiction of me may be a good example of this; though it's more of a gender play. The part related to my sexuality is about how he doesn't want to suffer anyone to be with him and feels like he brings destruction to those he loves, whereas she believes in love and finding her soulmate and will pine for him, write music about him and follow him to the ends of the universe. Both consider each other their muse, so that is consistent throughout my identities.)

    Social Fours
    Healthy Social Fours are unusually independent, self-affirming and sociallycourageous
    Willing to take unpopular stands, initiate innovative projects or create institutions thathave humanistic or artistic purposes
    They make good teachers especially of art, poetry, spirituality, realms of the heart and the inner life
    (I'm a horrible teacher in any formal setting but among friends, sure)
    Can be idealistic, drawn to social causes, with a keen sense of justice. The connection to One is especially strong with this subtype
    (I have a lot to say about my ideals for the world, and I think through them practically too. But I'm not at all attracted to group causes; it's more that my own vision is something I feel the desire to express in my novels and music. I like to think my political philosophies are consistent with my personal manner of loving, existing, integrity, etc)
    • May play the role of the critical outsider, dissatisfied with the norm
    (I don't play that role but the norm is definitely pathetic.)
    Prone to shame because they compare themselves with the “normal” world aroundthem, for deviating from imagined group norms
    Highly self-critical although their critical voice often belongs to someone else
    (This only happens when I'm obsessed with someone who is rejecting me)
    To refute the voice’s criticisms, a Social Four may romanticize her defects orsnobbishly counter-criticize the group
    (I am prone to romanticize defects at times but the rest isn't me)
    • May seek status or feel driven to achieve to get revenge against those who once laughed at them
    Cover their shame with charm
    (People call me charismatic but I don't consider myself charming. Whatever charm I may possess is an accident; a result of me being awkward or too blunt or things like that. When I actually want to charm someone I get too nervous and have no clue what to say. Sometimes my version of charming is challenging someone, nailing them to the wall and showing off, some of which do not go over well)
    Social Fours with a Five wing can grow antisocial and depressed, bearing their shame
    in solitude, in tension to a group that they keep at a distance

    (I like solitude, but this isn't why - it's not about the group - either I'm caught up on a project, sick of the bullshit, or feeling rejected and don't want to be seen)


    _____

    Four with a Three Wing
    Fours with a Three wing can seem like Sevens. Can be cheerful, outgoing, with asense of humor and style
    (I don't think I seem like a 7 but others do, apparently)

    • May be “counter depressive,” in that they stay busy and on-task to avoid getting bogged down in melancholy
    (I do feel my art projects bring me catharsis but it's not about staying randomly busy. Physical activity with music in my headphones does help me process my emotions. I'd rather process them than get away from them or shut them out... every time. That said, if I have stuff I HAVE to do, I'll do it.)
    Healthy Fours with this wing marry art and commerce; they are both creative and effective, intuitive and ambitious
    (For years I planned to get a tattoo around my wedding ring finger of my symbol - from my own system of symbols - which stood for 'the force that drives you,' meaning - in my case - my own inspiration, music, the arts, self-expression etc. I literally have referred to the arts as my husband.)
    • Generally more visual and kinesthetic and have a faster tempo of thought, speech and reaction
    Often materialistic, can have elegant or expensive taste; could prize the rare
    (I prize what is meaningful and expresses ME whether it's expensive or rare or not. "Rare" and "expensive" strike me as worldly concerns that are not from my planet.)
    Might dress flashy – albeit in a color coordinated wayin contrast to Fours with a Five-wing, who try to be socially invisible
    • Can be conscious of wearing a mask to hide their “true” deformed identity
    (Not too good at hiding things. My emotions are written on my face. When I have a crush my impulse is to hide it.. but I also don't want to put him off, so I feel like I'm walking a tightrope and I'm vulnerable. When I'm with him, we may connect genuinely, but when attention is drawn to "us" I feel like I'm ignoring an elephant in the room I have no idea what to say; it's just awkward. I am not good at deliberate charm.)
    • Some are Three “wannabes”; they imitate Threes to pass in the “normal” world as high-functioning and well-adjusted citizens; underneath they feel like ETs
    (I don't feel much need to pass as "normal" but I do want to be successful at my endeavors and I can be bold and aggressive to get what I want. Most people think I'm sweet, but deliberate charm is not my forte; my charm tends to be my honesty, my bizarre insights, intensely complex and deep emotional art projects or my in-depth abilities. I do know my strengths and which ones to show off but charm or being normal is not one)
    Can be exceptionally competitive, sometimes more so than Threes
    (Only in my fields of interest and men of interest; not over "just anything." I don't need to best others at normal things like beauty or money or possessions or friends; I need to be the absolute best at my own niche and with my own man. And in those scenarios my competitiveness knows no bounds.)
    Their pleasure in their own achievements may be tainted by jealousy or motivated by revenge
    (The need to outdo my ex and prove to both me, and myself, that I was more a musician than he, more dedicated, could do it without him etc, kept me going for years when I was recording my album and fighting tremendous odds to survive in the city, play shows with my whispery voice etc. I just kept picturing him feeling like he wished he did it first; he wished he pursued his music - he was so talented, but just wasting away. I was so satisfied when I gave him my album and he shook and cried and told me he wished he did it first. I care about him so I also hoped it would inspire him; but I needed to show him who is boss.)
    When recognized for what they accomplish, they may feel celebrated for the wrong reasons or dismiss the recognition as not enough
    (My mom and my pseudo-manager told me so many times that when people in the audience say I'm great, I should say "thank you" instead of speeches of excuses and disclaimers.)
    • Fours with this wing can tend towards melodrama and flamboyance
    (Fake drama over nothing bores me.)
    Get lost in fraudulence, play the role of the artist or the authentic, unique one
    Generally more conventional and less original than Fours with a Five wing
    • May have bad taste but not know it
    (Lol I hope not!)


    Four with a Five Wing
    • Fours with a Five wing are generally more introverted
    When healthy they have a rich, complex creativity
    Although somewhat intellectual, they have exceptional depth of feeling and insight
    (I don't consider myself intellectual but most people do. The depth of feeling and insight; I've been hearing that since I was a child.)
    May be multi-talented in ways that they take for granted
    Fours with this wing are often more original and idiosyncratic, unique to the point of eccentric
    Use thinking to suppress or dissociate from their feelings
    Often they are more auditory and kinesthetic and less consciously visual
    They have a spiritual and aesthetic openness and may also have a marked need to pour themselves into creative or artistic pursuits
    (Yes, this need is like breathing to me. I'm dead without it.)
    • Try to use the strength of their minds to manage their emotional intensity
    (Sort of. I try to use creative expression and other types of power to manage it. Maybe my mind, but I need to think about it.)
    • Some are loners who can seem enigmatic or hard to read
    (Nope, my every emotion and sub-emotion is splat on my face. As for loner, sometimes. It depends. I have friends but I'm quite independent and willfully autonomous.)
    • Externally reserved and internally resonant; when absorbed in a mood they can sit stilland expressionless for long periods of time (hypnotic catalepsy)
    (Hmm.. I can sit in a mood for a long time, but I'm not sure if I look expressionless. I feel like people can always tell)
    • An “open or closed” quality; after suddenly breaking hours of silence, the Four won’tstop talking
    • Fours with this wing will sometimes polarize against their own Three wing, makingThreeness a shadow that they indict in others
    (Probably not, I love my vanity. Not sure what this actually means.)
    Could see the world as dominated by trashy, materialistic values and pointless hyperactivity things the Four secretly envies
    (I don't envy that stuff. I take Action when something matters to me. That said, I do see the world being dominated by that crap.)
    Some are nondescript and try to be invisible. Consciously decide to venture into theworld
    Some are sedentary and, if not overweight, have no muscle tone
    (Only when sick & writing)
    Especially prone to feeling alienated and depressed; could isolate themselves
    • More likely to argue for their limitations or prove they can’t function in the normal world
    (I do feel like I'm too sensitive for this world at times; other times I feel like the world is mine to do what I will with.)
    • Might ignore practical matters or unpleasant but necessary chores, citing the strengthof their feelings as an excuse
    (I'm not sure - I'd say no but my mother would say yes)
    • Can be whiny or have an air of sullen, withdrawn disappointment
    (I don't know. People often ask me "What's wrong?")
    Prone to sulking and stubborn, passive-aggressive sadness; unusually humorless
    (I'm aggressive much more than passive aggressive, and I have a sense of humor, though sometimes people are annoyed that my sense of humor is not present at the time)
    Can inhabit a private world of pain and loss or be morbidly in love with death
    Might have a well-developed eye for the grotesque and the gothic
    Like Sixes they can fear taking action; some complain of having little energy


    Four’s Connection to One

    • A healthy connection to One helps Fours locate and connect to the objective, factual world, independent of their inner feelings
    (Feelings are part of reality so I find this distinction nonsensical.)
    Helps Fours balance the intensity of their feelings. They think more rationally and keep things in perspective
    (I am very calm in a crisis and people are often surprised how rational I can be when it's necessary.)
    The connection to One brings discipline and diminishes a Four’s self- indulgence
    (Discipline is necessary to express myself and live my dreams; I wouldn't say the satisfaction I get from knowing I'm pouring my blood, sweat and tears into living those dreams is bereft of self indulgence, however.)
    Brings problem-solving skills and an unexpected practical streak: Fours can be talented at managing money and handling realistic details
    (Always been this way. I don't handle things in a way that makes sense to others but I do handle them, and I've always been good with managing money even when broke as fuck.)
    Oneish Fours tend to be idealistic and work hard for what they believe in; morally courageous expressions of principle
    (I'm the only one who stands up against a horde around here over many issues. I can lose friends for it, lose fans, etc, but I don't give a fuck because I'd lose MYSELF if I were any other way.)
    Contributors rather than complainers, committed to living in and improving an imperfect world
    • When Fours are less healthy the connection to One devolves into being critical, faultfinding and nit-picky
    • After the perfect union of falling in love the Four can turn critical and disapproving, focusing only on what is missing in his partner’s behavior
    May have idealized, romantic dreams for which there are no partners or expect so much of partners that they drive them away
    • Self-critical; may criticize themselves in a Oneish voice that speaks only of their Four’s flaws, reinforcing their sense of alienated difference
    • Oneish Fours can block themselves creatively or set themselves up to fail becausenothing they produce is up to their own impossibly high standards
    • May criticize and tear down others, mainly out of jealousy
    (I do this in my song lyrics and characters to the max. Usually if I'm jealous of someone I don't tear them down directly. I do tear down those who piss me off however. There are exceptions though, when I did tear people down out of jealousy..but it's not pervasive)
    • Sometimes latch onto a grandiose, obsessive Big Idea or believe they are attuned to Absolute Truth
    Idealistic and artistic pretentiousness are possible; could feel they inhabit a lofty plane where their endeavors and aspirations can not be understood by mortals – The GreatArtist Blues
    (Yes, my home planet..)
    • Black and white thinking with a moral cast
    Self-punitive and pleasure hating, fanaticism and religiosity are possible


    Four’s Connection to Two

    Fours have a built-in connection to Two. When healthy it brings interpersonal skills and the ability to voluntarily empathize with others
    (Sure but I don't think it's voluntary. Empathy is not something I can help.)
    • Like Twos, Fours can float over and switch places with others and intuitively sense how they feel. The Four will then filter and interpret other people’s feelings through theFour’s own subjectivity
    (I have such a complex emotional map of all my feelings and sub-feelings that I instantly match others' feelings to that map, so I can feel how they feel in the sense that it's something I have also subjectively experienced. This can happen with animals too.)
    Twoish Fours can be supportive, generous “foul weather” friends who understand andaccept the pain of others
    May volunteer their services to ease suffering
    (In fact I prefer being around people who are genuinely suffering rather than playing victim which I have no patience for. Genuine suffering is the heart of life and connects me to the depths of myself. It is something real in a false world. So it's partially selfish.)
    • Act upon ideals,
    want to make the world a better place
    (I can't control the world but I hope that expressing myself will inspire others to do the same.)
    • The connection to Two brings the ability to teach or mentor, especially about subjective matters. Can accurately read the nonverbal behavior of others
    (I read this stuff very easily but I'm shy to tell anyone; I feel like the level of insight I possess about others' emotions can actually creep people out, so I usually talk about myself and avoid sharing what I observe about theirs. I am mostly focused on myself and my inner world, but this stuff just stands out to me; I can't NOT see it.)
    When this connection is less healthy, a Four may compulsively merge with others, especially their pain, as it unconsciously reminds the Four of their own
    (With the pain - yes, but only momentarily. Deeper merging, as in experiencing that person's pain as part of myself when they're not there, will only if I envy and obsess over the person.)• May flatter, charm and placate, hoping to mask their sense of defect
    (Sometimes if someone is suffering, I actually prefer to show my sense of defect because it makes others feel more comfortable around me.)
    Twoish Fours are prone to moody instability; by turns needy and then aggressive
    (If I am needy I hide it. I am most prone to withdraw when I feel needy. So yes, but not outwardly needy unless I really trust the person)
    • Can put great demands on their relationships and be easily disappointed
    Twoish Fours may flee themselves through codependent service to others
    The Four sense of specialness is intensified by Twoish pride
    Loud arguments and histrionic dramas are possible
    (I'm more prone to withdraw when feeling rejected than act out histrionic dramas)
    Psychosomatic illness and age regression (becoming younger than your years) are stronger tendencies
    Scarlet Eyes thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Feel free to do the same! ( @Scarlet Eyes or anyone else)
    It's getting really late for me, so I'll make sure to do this sometime tomorrow at the earliest.
    Animal thanked this post.

  7. #6
    Unknown

    This definitely needs stickied.
    Animal thanked this post.

  8. #7
    Type 4w3

    @Figure
    Sticky?
    SheWolf thanked this post.

  9. #8

    So I'm having a swell time getting confused over my stackings. The only thing I'm sure of is that I'm not SX-last. But I'm not sure if I really bleed SX for it to be my dom instinct.

    (Also, I'm not changing my wing, but I'm highlighting 4w3 points that I deeply relate to. )

    Summoning @Animal @Phoenix Virtue @owlet @lets mosey @Barakiel and @Views from Kanto for any input. Take as long as you need to, because it's colossal.

     

    Subtypes

    Self-Preservation Fours

    • Self-Preservation Fours are often risk takers I'm willing to take risks that serve a bigger purpose, not just for the thrill and fun of it.
    They take chances to stir up emotional intensity, collect new experiences, play out inner dramas or learn about themselves Oh god, I definitely play out inner dramas to learn more about myself. It's introspection with a twist after all. And I do take opportunities to stir up emotional intensity as well. But on one condition. I usually do this privately so as not to hurt others. And to not be seen as some kind of overactive drama queen. Best to do it with subtlety.
    • Open advocates of the passionate life
    • Social and artistic courage; the high side of this subtype brings daring
    • Healthy Fours with this subtype often feel driven to express an inner vision and find the courage and skill to bring it into the world
    • Often exceedingly practical in ways that support their creative enterprises
    For some their home is an aesthetically soothing refuge, for others home is dank and depressing, if someone said my room was dank, I'd take that as a compliment xD prompting fantasies of beautiful places, a stimulant to envy
    May have possessions they keep for a long time that are charged with symbolism and meaning
    Environmentally sensitive react strongly to their surroundings; fussy and hard to please about new purchases
    • When less healthy, they take self-destructive risks or punish other by hurting themselves NO.

    • Some can be reckless and openly court disaster while others merely flirt with loss
    Sometimes the connection to One is extra strong. Fours with this subtype can harangue themselves in a Oneish way and then rebel with reckless behavior Had fantasies about it, never actually rebelled against others. At least, not in the obvious ways.

    • Some resist the need to make a living; may hobble themselves with mystery ailments that prevent them from having a “straight job” It's not exactly a mystery ailment, but my condition does make it more difficult to handle physically strenuous jobs. Probably why I haven't been motivated to find a part-time job lately.
    • Self-Preservation Fours can be mistaken for counterphobic Sixes
    Some Fours with this subtype struggle with their weight and body image as they relate to identity. Anorexia, overeating or obsessions about food are possible Sort of. I did the exact opposite of gluttony in which I restricted the amount of food I ate so as to test my need for sustenance. I used to feel above others for not needing as much food to satisfy myself. Also, I have a habit of barely eating in public, especially with large amounts of casual acquaintances, like classmates and distant family members. Something about the charged atmosphere ignites my self-consciousness. I don't feel comfortable with the notion that others are watching me eat. Then I pig out when I go to the safety of my own home. Guess I subconsciously think of eating as something pretty personal to me.

    Intimate Fours

    Intimate Fours love others in a deep way, and possess a sensitive, complex, poetic intelligence about matters of the heart
    This is a highly romantic subtype, visible in the realms of romantic poetry, the troubadour tradition and popular music about love, especially in the lyrics of confessional singers

    Often stay friends with ex-lovers Scratch that with people who used to crush on me. After I withdraw from them for some time, I make the effort to reconnect bit by bit. Same as with my crushes. Then again, I never actually tell them my true feelings.
    A focus on aesthetics; some Intimate Fours are tasteful, flashy dressers • Can harbor a fantasy of perfect union, a redemptive love that will heal the wound of being an unwanted outsider
    Prone to jealousy and may be competitive in close relationships as well as generally; can feel like there is only so much love to go around
    Want to be Number One in their beloved’s heart or the only person their partner has ever loved; could be jealous of their partner’s past relationships Guilty as charged. I know that it makes no sense to feel that desire, but I just can't help it.
    • A stronger connection to Two Frankly, I need to strengthen my line to Two.
    • May be surprised to discover that their beloved has different needs; they assume mutuality of purpose and are unprepared to negotiate
    Also prone to professional envy and try to best others at work I want to highlight this a million times.
    May be unable to enjoy their successes without demeaning the achievements of others Ditto as well.
    • Intimate Fours can resemble Eights just as romantic Intimate Eights can resemble Fours
    • Can believe that without someone to love they are nothing and life is not worth living

    When in love, images of their partner fill the Four’s awareness and attention. The beloved is a muse, necessary to connect Fours to their own life force
    Need to bold this a million times also. That may be why my motto is, "Life's only interesting when you have something to obsess about."
    • May take no responsibility for their life until Mr. or Ms. Right comes along
    • There can be a willful immaturity to this stance, a stubborn refusal to face facts no matter what the practical costs
    • Can be love addicts who lack the memory of being loved and believe they are condemned to search the world for something or someone to fill them up It's almost like these points are reading my mind.
    Some Intimate Fours act markedly seductive to stave off being rejected • May engineer rejection by picking unavailable or inappropriate people to become infatuated with
    A few have ambiguous, confused or exaggerated sexual identities or a chronic identity crisis around their sexuality

    Social Fours

    Healthy Social Fours are unusually independent, self-affirming and socially courageous
    • Willing to take unpopular stands, initiate innovative projects or create institutions that have humanistic or artistic purposes
    • They make good teachers especially of art, poetry, spirituality, realms of the heart and the inner life The one career I'll never take up. xD
    • Can be idealistic, drawn to social causes, with a keen sense of justice. The connection to One is especially strong with this subtype
    • May play the role of the critical outsider, dissatisfied with the norm
    • Prone to shame because they compare themselves with the “normal” world around them, for deviating from imagined group norms
    Highly self-critical although their critical voice often belongs to someone else
    To refute the voice’s criticisms, a Social Four may romanticize her defects or snobbishly counter-criticize the group
    May seek status or feel driven to achieve to get revenge against those who once laughed at them Hmm, I had fantasies about this when I cared about others' opinions. Thought this was a 3 trait itself.
    • Cover their shame with charm

    Social Fours with a Five wing can grow antisocial and depressed, bearing their shame in solitude, in tension to a group that they keep at a distance Definitely not one of my best moments. Especially if it was a group I actually enjoyed being in.

    Four with a Three Wing

    Fours with a Three wing can seem like Sevens. Can be cheerful, outgoing, with a sense of humor and style @nburns, Maybe that's why you saw me as a Seven?
    May be “counter depressive,” in that they stay busy and on-task to avoid getting bogged down in melancholy I'm also guilty of committing vice versa. Such as feeling too overwhelmed by my own melancholy to actually do something productive.
    • Healthy Fours with this wing marry art and commerce; they are both creative and effective, intuitive and ambitious
    Generally more visual and kinesthetic and have a faster tempo of thought, speech and reaction
    • Often materialistic, can have elegant or expensive taste; could prize the rare
    • Might dress flashy – albeit in a color coordinated way – in contrast to Fours with a Five wing, who try to be socially invisible
    Can be conscious of wearing a mask to hide their “true” deformed identity This mostly happens in online settings. My best online personas conveyed more of my ideal self, which seemed to attract a lot of people. But at the same time, I felt that they were only intrigued by my image and not for who I am. I thought that if I did show them more of my actual self, they wouldn't see me as interesting as before.
    • Some are Three “wannabes”; they imitate Threes to pass in the “normal” world as high-functioning and well-adjusted citizens; underneath they feel like ETsAnd these are the times where I wonder if switching to 3w4 would make me more confident and outgoing.
    Can be exceptionally competitive, sometimes more so than Threes
    Their pleasure in their own achievements may be tainted by jealousy or motivated by revenge Pretend this is bolded a million times.
    When recognized for what they accomplish, they may feel celebrated for the wrong reasons or dismiss the recognition as not enough
    • Fours with this wing can tend towards melodrama and flamboyance
    • Get lost in fraudulence, play the role of the artist or the authentic, unique one
    • Generally more conventional and less original than Fours with a Five wing
    • May have bad taste but not know it OK then.

    Four with a Five Wing

    • Fours with a Five wing are generally more introverted

    • When healthy they have a rich, complex creativity
    • Although somewhat intellectual, they have exceptional depth of feeling and insight
    • May be multi-talented in ways that they take for granted
    • Fours with this wing are often more original and idiosyncratic, unique to the point of eccentric
    • Use thinking to suppress or dissociate from their feelings
    • Often they are more auditory and kinesthetic and less consciously visual
    • They have a spiritual and aesthetic openness and may also have a marked need to pour themselves into creative or artistic pursuits
    • Try to use the strength of their minds to manage their emotional intensity Maybe that's why I typed as a 5w4.
    • Some are loners who can seem enigmatic or hard to read
    Externally reserved and internally resonant; when absorbed in a mood they can sit still and expressionless for long periods of time (hypnotic catalepsy) What the hell, this actually has a name. I did that three times today.
    • An “open or closed” quality; after suddenly breaking hours of silence, the Four won’t stop talking
    • Fours with this wing will sometimes polarize against their own Three wing, making Threeness a shadow that they indict in others
    • Could see the world as dominated by trashy, materialistic values and pointless hyperactivity – things the Four secretly envies Sometimes I wish to be above all that, but I can't help but envy materialism because it seems to make others happy. Yet, looks are deceiving.
    • Some are nondescript and try to be invisible. Consciously decide to venture into the world
    • Some are sedentary and, if not overweight, have no muscle tone
    • Especially prone to feeling alienated and depressed; could isolate themselves
    • More likely to argue for their limitations or prove they can’t function in the normal world
    • Might ignore practical matters or unpleasant but necessary chores, citing the strength of their feelings as an excuse
    • Can be whiny or have an air of sullen, withdrawn disappointment
    • Prone to sulking and stubborn, passive-aggressive sadness; unusually humorless
    • Can inhabit a private world of pain and loss or be morbidly in love with death
    • Might have a well-developed eye for the grotesque and the gothic I gravitate towards these, but I'm not a fan of calling them either grotesque or Gothic. I feel that it takes away the true effect and meaning if you give it a name.

    • Like Sixes they can fear taking action; some complain of having little energy

    Four’s Connection to One

    • A healthy connection to One helps Fours locate and connect to the objective, factual world, independent of their inner feelings
    • Helps Fours balance the intensity of their feelings. They think more rationally and keep things in perspective


    • The connection to One brings discipline and diminishes a Four’s self-indulgence
    • Brings problem-solving skills and an unexpected practical streak: Fours can be talented at managing money and handling realistic details
    • Oneish Fours tend to be idealistic and work hard for what they believe in; morally courageous expressions of principle
    • Contributors rather than complainers, committed to living in and improving an imperfect world
    • When Fours are less healthy the connection to One devolves into being critical, fault finding and nit-picky
    • After the perfect union of falling in love the Four can turn critical and disapproving, focusing only on what is missing in his partner’s behavior Or what they have that I don't.
    • May have idealized, romantic dreams for which there are no partners or expect so much of partners that they drive them away
    • Self-critical; may criticize themselves in a Oneish voice that speaks only of their Four’s flaws, reinforcing their sense of alienated difference
    • Oneish Fours can block themselves creatively or set themselves up to fail because nothing they produce is up to their own impossibly high standards This is the main reason why I don't work at my creative pursuits more often.
    • May criticize and tear down others, mainly out of jealousy
    • Sometimes latch onto a grandiose, obsessive Big Idea or believe they are attuned to Absolute Truth I thought this was Ni, but it still applies to me.
    • Idealistic and artistic pretentiousness are possible; could feel they inhabit a lofty plane where their endeavors and aspirations can not be understood by mortals – The Great Artist Blues Wow, this really hits home. Especially if I show others my work and they give a half-hearted response to it. That usually brings me down.
    • Black and white thinking with a moral cast
    Self-punitive and pleasure hating, fanaticism and religiosity are possible Once again: Guilty. As. Charged.

    Four’s Connection to Two

    • Fours have a built-in connection to Two. When healthy it brings interpersonal skills and the ability to voluntarily empathize with others
    Like Twos, Fours can float over and switch places with others and intuitively sense how they feel. The Four will then filter and interpret other people’s feelings through the Four’s own subjectivity
    • Twoish Fours can be supportive, generous “foul weather” friends who understand and accept the pain of others
    • May volunteer their services to ease suffering
    • Act upon ideals, want to make the world a better place
    • The connection to Two brings the ability to teach or mentor, especially about subjective matters. Can accurately read the nonverbal behavior of others
    When this connection is less healthy, a Four may compulsively merge with others, especially their pain, as it unconsciously reminds the Four of their own Done this with both real people and characters.
    • May flatter, charm and placate, hoping to mask their sense of defect
    Twoish Fours are prone to moody instability; by turns needy and then aggressive
    • Can put great demands on their relationships and be easily disappointed • Twoish Fours may flee themselves through codependent service to others
    The Four sense of specialness is intensified by Twoish pride
    • Loud arguments and histrionic dramas are possible
    • Psychosomatic illness and age regression (becoming younger than your years) are stronger tendencies That's something I'm experiencing lately. Maybe I'm just a late-bloomer, but I'm having more urges to get out, be a bit more rebellious, or just throw away all the preconceptions people have of me.
    owlet, Animal, Barakiel and 3 others thanked this post.

  10. #9
    Type 2w1

    @Scarlet Eyes my instinct is sp/sx but I don't feel confident in that (less of an instinct and more of a gander, which might just be based on what I've heard other people gandering about you)

    I'm really confused about the instincts right now and always so I'm not sure.

    I was actually just working on...doing all of them
    When I'm finished I'll try to give a better response and see if I can come up with anything substantial
    Animal and Scarlet Eyes thanked this post.

  11. #10

     
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