[ENTJ] ENTJ as Parents

ENTJ as Parents

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This is a discussion on ENTJ as Parents within the ENTJ Articles forums, part of the ENTJ Forum - The Executives category; ENTJs as Parents "You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth... Let your bending ...

  1. #1

    ENTJ as Parents



    ENTJs as Parents


    "You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
    Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
    For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
    so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran

    ENTJs take their parenting role very seriously. They consider the task of passing on their values and goals to their children as an objective fact - it is something which will be done. They consider it their responsibility to make sure that their child is constantly developing and learning in the most optimal way. The ENTJ parent is usually rather strict, and has very high expectations of their children.

    As a parent, the ENTJ continuously promotes learning and independent thinking. They pass on their love of knowledge to their children, and challenge them at every turn to thoroughly understand their positions and perspectives. They expect that their children will follow their lead. The ENTJ is in charge - there can be no doubt about that. They expect their children to honor their parents, and to follow the rules and procedures which are set forth for the household. There is little room for error in those expectations, and the ENTJ will be a harsh parental authoritarian when the rules are broken. The children of an ENTJ usually know their place, and have a lot of respect for their ENTJ parent.


    During the teen years, we are likely to see a child rebel from their relationship with the ENTJ. Although this situation is common with almost all of the types, it is especially true for parents who are Extraverted Judging types. Children growing into adults do not want to be controlled, and adults who are used to controlling their children have a difficult time letting go. The ENTJ parent would be wise to "loosen up" their hold a bit, as long as they can do so without compromising what they feel to be right.

    ENTJs who have not given themselves introspective time to develop the feeling side of their nature frequently develop harsh, aggressive tendencies. Such an ENTJ parent is prone to be something of a dictator - giving out orders arbitrarily, and expecting them to be followed to a "T" without any "back-talk". If continued over a long span of time, this kind of behavior creates an oppressive environment for the child. An ENTJ can address such tendencies by making time for introspection, and remembering to consciously be aware of people's feelings.

    ENTJs who have managed to avoid many of the problems associated with their type are wonderful parental figures. They are remembered fondly and valued by their children for challenging them at every turn, and thus promoting growth and development. This type of knowledge seeking usually becomes a life-long habit for their children, who turn into responsible and independent adults.


    Headcase, Giratina and WhenNRome thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    My dad is ENTJ.....we have never got along. :(

  3. #3
    Unknown

    This sounds a lot like my dad.

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  5. #4
    Unknown Personality

    Another person here to say "Yup. Dad's an ENTJ"

  6. #5
    ENTJ - The Executives

    Great... look forward to those teenage years lol.
    I would be an ENTJ mom.

  7. #6
    ENTJ


    Came across this thread. Hope to resurrect it and see if any other ENTJs (esp. the mommies) can chime in here. Dads are welcome too!

    My (bio) daughters are 2 and (almost) 5. The step daughter is 11.

    ENTJs take their parenting role very seriously.

    Yes, yes I do.

    They consider the task of passing on their values and goals to their children as an objective fact - it is something which will be done.
    Well, that is definitely part of it but I am being a realist when I say that they will be free to be whomever they want. I'd like to believe I took part in that development.

    They consider it their responsibility to make sure that their child is constantly developing and learning in the most optimal way. The ENTJ parent is usually rather strict, and has very high expectations of their children.
    Yes, development and learning is extremely important. Both daughters are bilingual, English and French. In order to boost their linguistic capabilities, they go to a Francophone school in a predominantly anglophone area. We read almost every night, practice letters, numbers, shapes, colours. The youngest demonstrates preference toward spatial-mechanical activities.

    As a parent, the ENTJ continuously promotes learning and independent thinking.
    Absolutely agree with this.

    They pass on their love of knowledge to their children, and challenge them at every turn to thoroughly understand their positions and perspectives. Yes, but challenge at every turn? They are really young still. I am the one who is challenged! haha

    They expect that their children will follow their lead.
    The ENTJ is in charge - there can be no doubt about that.

    Expect? Let's get back to reality here, folks. Kids do whatever they want and until you can show them either reward or consequence, they will just continue on as kids. It's patience on the parents' part (something entjs are not known for) to not force obedience. I don't want them to learn to obey anyone blindly. They are free to question as much as they want. I still make the decisions.

    They expect their children to honor their parents, and to follow the rules and procedures which are set forth for the household.
    There is little room for error in those expectations, and the ENTJ will be a harsh parental authoritarian when the rules are broken.
    The children of an ENTJ usually know their place, and have a lot of respect for their ENTJ parent.


    Who the fuck wrote this? Someone confusing ENTJs with ESTJs? Again, let's be realistic. I am not authoritarian. But I am authoritative. There are established rules, of course. But I have to work with them to carry out the rules. "Please go pick up your clothes" to a two year old sounds like "oaldfna.x aleijrldjlfjalf" even if they fully understood what you said. But when you demonstrate, leading by example, how to pick up the clothes, they may be more inclined to follow your lead. Oh hell, who am I kidding? Those clothes are staying on the floor until I pick up the clothes. Then those little shits don't get a popsicle. (my back hurts you know)

    During the teen years, we are likely to see a child rebel from their relationship with the ENTJ. Although this situation is common with almost all of the types, it is especially true for parents who are Extraverted Judging types. Children growing into adults do not want to be controlled, and adults who are used to controlling their children have a difficult time letting go. The ENTJ parent would be wise to "loosen up" their hold a bit, as long as they can do so without compromising what they feel to be right.

    I have a pre-teen step daughter (quite possibly an ESTP or ESFP), as well. I am at this stage with her, learning quickly, I might add. Have to remember how I was as a rebellious teen. It wasn't pretty.

    ENTJs who have not given themselves introspective time to develop the feeling side of their nature frequently develop harsh, aggressive tendencies. Such an ENTJ parent is prone to be something of a dictator - giving out orders arbitrarily, and expecting them to be followed to a "T" without any "back-talk".
    If continued over a long span of time, this kind of behavior creates an oppressive environment for the child.
    An ENTJ can address such tendencies by making time for introspection, and remembering to consciously be aware of people's feelings.


    I often wonder whether I am being too strict or too lenient. Finding the correct balance is difficult. It's different with every kid, different at every age and I find myself adapting my "style" to them so as to get better results. Becoming a mom (parent) has provided more insight to human nature more than anything else. Something that should take 5 minutes takes an hour. I want to lose my mind sometimes when my oldest drags out the morning routine because she's trying to avoid going to school. Does it really take 20 minutes to put on one fucking sock?!?!?!


    ENTJs who have managed to avoid many of the problems associated with their type are wonderful parental figures.
    They are remembered fondly and valued by their children for challenging them at every turn, and thus promoting growth and development.
    This type of knowledge seeking usually becomes a life-long habit for their children, who turn into responsible and independent adults.


    The bold is the goal (of a few...:D)

  8. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Regina View Post

    ENTJs as Parents


    "You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
    Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
    For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
    so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran
    No.

    Quote Originally Posted by Regina View Post
    ENTJs take their parenting role very seriously. They consider the task of passing on their values and goals to their children as an objective fact - it is something which will be done. They consider it their responsibility to make sure that their child is constantly developing and learning in the most optimal way. The ENTJ parent is usually rather strict, and has very high expectations of their children.


    Yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Regina View Post
    As a parent, the ENTJ continuously promotes learning and independent thinking. They pass on their love of knowledge to their children, and challenge them at every turn to thoroughly understand their positions and perspectives. They expect that their children will follow their lead. The ENTJ is in charge - there can be no doubt about that. They expect their children to honor their parents, and to follow the rules and procedures which are set forth for the household. There is little room for error in those expectations, and the ENTJ will be a harsh parental authoritarian when the rules are broken. The children of an ENTJ usually know their place, and have a lot of respect for their ENTJ parent.
    Yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Regina View Post
    During the teen years, we are likely to see a child rebel from their relationship with the ENTJ. Although this situation is common with almost all of the types, it is especially true for parents who are Extraverted Judging types. Children growing into adults do not want to be controlled, and adults who are used to controlling their children have a difficult time letting go. The ENTJ parent would be wise to "loosen up" their hold a bit, as long as they can do so without compromising what they feel to be right.
    This is a problem for extroverted judgement types yes. It is very important to give children more freedom as they enter the terrible teens age. Otherwise the kids might rebel or even run away. The first child always has it the worst. Subsequent children have an easier time during the teenage years.

    Quote Originally Posted by Regina View Post
    ENTJs who have not given themselves introspective time to develop the feeling side of their nature frequently develop harsh, aggressive tendencies. Such an ENTJ parent is prone to be something of a dictator - giving out orders arbitrarily, and expecting them to be followed to a "T" without any "back-talk". If continued over a long span of time, this kind of behavior creates an oppressive environment for the child. An ENTJ can address such tendencies by making time for introspection, and remembering to consciously be aware of people's feelings.
    Good advice. Especially for ENTJs who were ranking officers in the military and expect disciplined subordinates. Again, the first child always has it the worst with regard to being raised in a militaristic manner. It does take such an ENTJ a bit of time to lighten up though because I do expect absolute perfection from my children at all times. Yes, that is putting a lot of pressure on them, but it requires a lot of work to ensure my offspring grow up to become productive members of society.

    Quote Originally Posted by Regina View Post
    ENTJs who have managed to avoid many of the problems associated with their type are wonderful parental figures. They are remembered fondly and valued by their children for challenging them at every turn, and thus promoting growth and development. This type of knowledge seeking usually becomes a life-long habit for their children, who turn into responsible and independent adults.


    Yes.

    Overall, good article. Thanks for posting it, Regina.
    Last edited by Scoobyscoob; 01-18-2019 at 11:44 AM.

  9. #8
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by Regina View Post

    ENTJs as Parents


    "You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
    Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
    For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
    so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran

    ENTJs take their parenting role very seriously. They consider the task of passing on their values and goals to their children as an objective fact - it is something which will be done. They consider it their responsibility to make sure that their child is constantly developing and learning in the most optimal way. The ENTJ parent is usually rather strict, and has very high expectations of their children.

    As a parent, the ENTJ continuously promotes learning and independent thinking. They pass on their love of knowledge to their children, and challenge them at every turn to thoroughly understand their positions and perspectives. They expect that their children will follow their lead. The ENTJ is in charge - there can be no doubt about that. They expect their children to honor their parents, and to follow the rules and procedures which are set forth for the household. There is little room for error in those expectations, and the ENTJ will be a harsh parental authoritarian when the rules are broken. The children of an ENTJ usually know their place, and have a lot of respect for their ENTJ parent.


    During the teen years, we are likely to see a child rebel from their relationship with the ENTJ. Although this situation is common with almost all of the types, it is especially true for parents who are Extraverted Judging types. Children growing into adults do not want to be controlled, and adults who are used to controlling their children have a difficult time letting go. The ENTJ parent would be wise to "loosen up" their hold a bit, as long as they can do so without compromising what they feel to be right.

    ENTJs who have not given themselves introspective time to develop the feeling side of their nature frequently develop harsh, aggressive tendencies. Such an ENTJ parent is prone to be something of a dictator - giving out orders arbitrarily, and expecting them to be followed to a "T" without any "back-talk". If continued over a long span of time, this kind of behavior creates an oppressive environment for the child. An ENTJ can address such tendencies by making time for introspection, and remembering to consciously be aware of people's feelings.

    ENTJs who have managed to avoid many of the problems associated with their type are wonderful parental figures. They are remembered fondly and valued by their children for challenging them at every turn, and thus promoting growth and development. This type of knowledge seeking usually becomes a life-long habit for their children, who turn into responsible and independent adults.


    Too many nopes from me. I'm a guiding parent, not an authoritarian. Happiness is forefront.
    MsSpookyPants thanked this post.

  10. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by Duo View Post
    Too many nopes from me. I'm a guiding parent, not an authoritarian. Happiness is forefront.
    The guide was intended more for ENTJ men, not women. Women tend to be more nurturing than men, so their children tend to be softer.

  11. #10
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by Scoobyscoob View Post
    The guide was intended more for ENTJ men, not women. Women tend to be more nurturing than men, so their children tend to be softer.
    If you refer back to the initial profile that the paragraphs were stolen from, they don't differentiate between biological sexes. It's about parenting, not fathering.
    MsSpookyPants thanked this post.


     
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