The Development of ENTJ Children

The Development of ENTJ Children

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  1. #1
    INTJ - The Scientists

    The Development of ENTJ Children

    ENTJ: Leader of the Band
    'She believes there's only one way to do things – her way!'

    ENTJs are strong, opinionated, independent, and logical children who are driven by their intellectual curiosity and need to master everything they try. They are also creative and inventive and are the most stimulated and inspired by anything out of the ordinary and by all kinds of possibilities. The most important thing to remember about ENTJs at any age is their lifelong drive to acquire knowledge and then demonstrate their competency to the outside world. ENTJs are energetic, exciting, and challenging children to parent. They demand fairness in all things and need plenty of logical and accurate explanations and a wealth of learning experiences to keep them growing and thriving.

    The examples that follow are drawn from stories of real children. But since all people are unique, your ENTJ may not demonstrate all of the characteristics described or may not demonstrate them with the same degree of intensity. But if your child really is an ENTJ, most of what you read should sound strikingly familiar.

    Preschool ENTJs
    Birth to Age 4

    ENTJ babies are almost always active, busy, and very physical. They need to challenge themselves and their environment, even from the first few days of their lives. Often noisy, expressive infants, little ENTJs are eager to see and engage people around them. They tend to become bored quickly by the same stimulation or too familiar toys. They are much more intrigued with anything new or out of the ordinary, especially scientific or building toys or the raw materials they use to make props for their imaginative games.

    • When Dillon was a few months old, he loved his parents to hold him up so he could look out the front window and watch the people walk by on the street and the traffic moving in front of his apartment building. If he was tired and cranky, his father could usually calm him by showing him something he had never seen before. Dillon never really played with usual baby toys like rattles until he was a few years old and his infant brother began playing with them. He was more interested in interacting with adults, playing with his parents' computer or the remote for the VCR or constructing spaceships out of cardboard boxes.

    While not all ENTJs are early talkers, those who are seem to speak fluently and articulately from the start. Most ENTJs rarely use baby talk, and instead move right into more adult speech patterns. One common characteristic of young ENTJs, observable from their earliest years, is that they always seem so sure of themselves. Convinced they are right, they may become very demanding about being heard and insistent about getting others to see their point of view or agree with their positions. They may not know just how they know what they are sure they know, but they will argue very convincingly and with great authority in their voices. And most young ENTJs hold strong opinions that are not easily swayed by the reactions or conflicting beliefs of other.

    • By age two, Hillary carried on in-depth conversations with adults – even strangers of people she had just met. She appeared totally confident, standing with her hands on her hips, insisting that people hear her out. She was never intimidated by older or bigger children or by adults, even those in positions of authority like the director of her preschool or the parish minister. At age three, she was perfectly comfortable asking a store clerk for assistance. Time and again her parents heard from other people that Hillary seemed older than her years. The fact that she was relatively petite made her strength and conviction all the more surprising, disarming, and delightful.

    Most ENTJ toddlers and preschoolers are adventurous and energetic children. They like new challenges – physical ones like jumping off high places or intellectual ones like learning new words and expressions. Young ENTJs are often eager to try to do things on their own like carrying heavy things or getting themselves up onto a high chair. Fiercely independent, ENTJs like to show their parents they are big kids and can do things for themselves. They will often want to hold their bottles or spoons, try to dress themselves or pour their own juice, and may even struggle against learning how to use the toilet. Above all, they want to be in charge and in control of themselves, even when they aren't really big enough to do it.

    • One day, three-year-old Trey went food shopping with his mother. When he became tired of shopping and told his mother he wanted to go home, his mother tried to reassure him that they were almost finished and as soon as they paid for their groceries, they would leave. Trey was not placated. He said, 'I'm going home now. I know where the bus is!'

    Socially, preschool ENTJs make themselves at home in any situation. They are equally at ease in a group of children as with adults. They make friends very quickly and usually show no hesitation or clingy-ness to parents even when meeting strangers. Occasionally, they may hang back for a few minutes before getting involved in a game that started before they arrived. But that watchfulness is not born out of fear or shyness, but rather a desire to understand how to join in smoothly and competently. ENTJs will rarely risk looking stupid or inept. They pride themselves on their competence and ability to do things perfectly the first time. ENTJs like to be the boss and usually have strong ideas about the way they want the group to act or play. They can be quite persuasive because they sound so sure of themselves and can be very assertive about making sure their agenda is followed.

    Even before they start school, ENTJs have already taught themselves to read. Books are usually great friends, and most ENTJs are both physically calmed and intellectually stimulated when they are read to. They have rich imaginations and love stories with high adventure, characters with special magic powers, or plots that complex and fantastic. Once they can read on their own, many ENTJs became voracious readers and may skim through books with amazing speed while still being able to glean, understand, and retain subtle meaning. They like to play pretend games and love to act out the drama or superheroes with great expression, complete with accents, sound effects, improvised costumes, weapons, or other props.

    • Four-year-old Meredith liked to play with Barbie dolls, but not in the way many girls her age did. Instead of spending much of the play time dressing the dolls or brushing and arranging their hair, Meredith devised adventures for her dolls. She talked constantly as she played, and her dolls were always involved in some great drama and peril, forever falling off cliffs or using their wits to fight enemies from outer space.

    The rich imaginations of ENTJs are also evident in their storytelling. They especially enjoy painting at an easel or creating big, colorful, and impressive pieces of art like collages or 'recycle sculptures', made out of outs and ends. ENTJs think big and like their work to reflect those big ideas. They also like to sing and dance and act out stories. Young ENTJs are fond of inventing games with all the essential and inviolate rules, especially those that let them be victorious at least most of the tim1 they generally have a wealth of ideas and are generally just as confident of the value and worth of their ideas as they are of everything else.

    Preschool ENTJs are quite comfortable with order and structure. As long as they understand the rules, they are usually willing to obey them and even enforce them with other children. They like to know what is going to happen ahead of time, so they usually ask for a preview or agenda for the day. They like to have a plan and may protest and resist necessary changes. ENTJs like the task of getting themselves ready to go and have a clear preference for making choices for themselves. Less aware or concerned with the needs of others, once they are ready they often announce, 'It's time to go'!

    The Joys and Challenges of Raising Preschool ENTJs

    Honest, direct, and even blunt, most preschool ENTJs say exactly what is on their minds, without regard to how other people might be affected. They may find other people's reactions silly or not worth considering when they are in opposition to their own.

    • Six-year-old Julie's mother explained, 'Julie believes there is basically only one way to do things: her way. She is so determined and strong-willed that she often refuses to compromise, back down, or share. She just doesn't see any point in giving to others unless she sees some present or future pay-off.

    Putting themselves in another person's place is very difficult for most young ENTJs, who have not yet learned the finer skills of diplomacy, empathy, or gentleness. ENTJs tend to rush headlong into life and need to be taught to slow down and notice the impact their directness has on those around them. Parents of young ENTJs need to patiently and unemotionally appeal to their ENTJs' natural ability to see possibilities and encourage their children to use their imaginations to consider the impact of their behavior on other people. With practice, they will learn to turn their well-developed ability to read between the lines toward anticipating and understanding how other people feel. Eventually, they may learn to accept those feelings as valid, even if they still don't agree or relate to them.

    While most young ENTJs generally like people and are quickly energized by being around them, they often do not like people touching them. They will frequently pull away or shun the well-meaning affection of other adults, blatantly wiping off kisses from a relative, or even tell people right to their faces that they don't like them. It may be embarrassing for their parents, but these children are merely voicing what so many other children feel but are too afraid to say. Parents of ENTJs get more frequent )and public) opportunities to stand up for their child's inviolate right not to be touched. It's one of the double standards in this culture that while adults would never consider patting, pinching, or ruffling the hair of another adult, they think nothing of taking the same liberties with children they hardly know. As parents, we may need to teach our preschool ENTJs a more polite way of refusing such shows of attention and affection, while at the same time supporting their right not to be touched. Respect is a central value of ENTJs. As parents we need to show our ENTJs (and all our children!) that we respect them and, by doing so, we expect them to show respect to others. But it is unfair and unrealistic to demand what we do not give first.

    The basic questioning nature of ENTJs creates a challenge for parents who need to work hard to stay one step ahead of their precocious and curious children. It is both stimulating and sometimes exhausting to answer all their questions with the accuracy and logic they require. If you try to fake it, they will undoubtedly know, become indignant and insulted and lose respect for and trust in you. And because children need to trust their parents, this can be a frightening situation for young ENTJs. In such cases, it's wiser to just admit you don't know and then go find the answer.

    ENTJs are always probing, always seeking to more fully understand why the world operates as it does and are not likely to accept answers that seem pat or arbitrary. So strong is their need to understand the underlying meaning and reason for things, they will press and prod far beyond what other children might, even in the face of displeasure from their parents. When adults give them answers that are even slightly illogical, it drives them crazy and they usually become even more insistent on getting a full and clear explanation.

    • In church one Sunday, when the priest said, 'Let us pray', three-year-old Chelsea turned to her mother and said, 'Why do we have to? We just did that.' Instead of being put off or disapproving of her daughter's very natural question, her mother whispered that praying was one of the reasons people came to church, so that's why they did it a lot. Chelsea thought about it a second, nodded that she understood, and bowed her head.
    • If four-year-old Hashim disagreed with his parents' answer or argument, he would simply dismiss the whole discussion and reject their answer out of hand. His parents found that giving their son time to calm down was always a smart move. After even a brief separation, he would seem more able to listen and more capable of reason. Once, after a heated struggle over why he could not wear his new shoes to jump in puddles Hashim disappeared for about fifteen minutes. His parents looked around the house and found him in his room. Hashim looked up at his father and said, 'I pleasant now, Daddy!' He had anticipated that they might give him some time alone and had applied the treatment to himself, by himself!

    Fairness is absolutely essential to ENTJs. They spend a lot of time talking about it and demanding it and have an innate sense of justice for themselves and others. They understand and can apply this concept way before concept like sharing or the necessity of occasionally making exceptions for special circumstances. They tend to hold themselves and everyone else hard and fast to the rules.

    ENTJs love to know about the future. They will count down the days in anticipation of a future event and look forward much more often than they look back. Since they tend to make decisions very quickly and like to know and stick with a plan of action, they are not usually very flexible and adaptable when those plans have to change. They may protest vociferously and refuse to accommodate the change. They have a very hard time leaving decisions open for long periods of time and will agitate toward a decision, even if it is not the one they really want, just to have the matter settled. It takes years of practice for them to learn to be patient and not rush the process in order to have the task completed.
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  2. #2
    INTJ - The Scientists

    School-Aged ENTJs
    Age 5 to 10

    Since most school-aged ENTJs are almost completely aware of and energized by the world around them, they are typically outgoing, talkative, and very active. They tend to think out loud and pursue all of their interests in a big and extravagant way. They seem completely at ease in the world of people Uninhibited and unafraid, one six-year-old ENTJ liked comparison shopping over the telephone by calling several stores to find the best price. ENTJs like group activities and by this age are usually described as natural leaders. They often have a big circle of varied friends from the many activities and groups to which they belong and may spend lots of time talking on the telephone.

    • Wherever eight-year-old Cassandra went, she met a new friend. Before she left, she was always sure to exchange last names and telephone numbers so they could call each other and arrange a future play date. Just liker her ENTJ mother, Cassie even had a Rolodex of her own, full of friends' names and numbers, carefully alphabetized, which she constantly updated.

    Many school-aged ENTJs are fascinated by learning and then explaining the scientific principles they see in action around them. One kindergarten ENTJ seriously and confidently explained the concept of condensation that he saw on his father's iced tea glass. ENTJs love gaining knowledge and are constantly hungry for more. They light up at the chance to impress others (especially adults) with what they know and to demonstrate their competence to the world. Whatever they do, they strive to be the best. Whether it is earning merit badges in Scouts or scoring goals on the soccer field, it is the proof of their ability, the rewards of their achievement, the fruits of their labors that are most motivating and exciting. But they must be meaningful rewards. If they think the payoff isn't worth the effort, or won't be legitimately earned, they will not put forward their best effort.

    Some school-aged ENTJs are very motivated by getting good grades and like to see themselves as excellent students. Others care much more about their own sense of competence and are less concerned about grades. But most ENTJs usually like and excel with teachers who set very high standards for them and don't just tolerate, but actively encourage, their questioning minds and challenging styles. Very goal directed, school-aged ENTJs want to do everything perfectly the first time they try, or they may give up. And they often take on big projects so they can impress their teachers, classmates, and families.

    • Nine-year-old Rob volunteered to participate in a debate to be performed before the entire school. His parents were impressed as they watched him calmly and confidently prepare for his arguments, organize his various points, and make notes with supporting examples. The day of the debate, Rob's parents sat in the audience and were struck by how cool, articulate, and convincing he was. Rob won the debate and received thunderous applause and a trophy, which he displayed prominently in his room.

    Because ENTJs are so future oriented, goal directed, and proud, they want very much to be treated like grown-ups. They are deeply insulted by people who talk down to them or who assume they are too young to handle projects on their own. In fact, they usually are very calm, collected, and happy to take charge – even in the face of chaos. Their motto might be the expression one young ENTJ often used: 'Don't panic, Mom.'

    ENTJs like organizing and supervising activities and are usually great at getting other children to work with them. Many ENTJs love theater and enjoy performing on stage. They enjoy being the center of attention and have a strong flair for dramatics.

    • Nine-year-old Mollie memorized Shakespeare soliloquies and recited them on the landing of their front staircase to anyone who would listen. By the time she was ten, she had written several plays, complete with stage directions.
    • By the time he was ten, Anthony had been in several plays and was always ready to audition or sign up for another. But what he really liked was directing and mounting productions. During a typical thirty-minute lunch recess, Anthony could create, cast, rehearse, and direct a skit or play straight out of his imagination. Kids from the whole school lined up to see what Anthony had in mind for recess each day.

    ENTJs are often very organized and like to use those skills for their own pleasure. They frequently say things like, 'Okay. Here's the plan.' They like to know how to do things for themselves like cooking or operating the washing machine One ENTJ liked to re-arrange the contents of the refrigerator according to a different set of criteria each time. One time it was by color, another time by what the container was made on. Another used self-made matrices to plan and organize her birthday parties. Since the play of ENTJs often imitates the work of adults, they like playing school with their stuffed animals or siblings as the students or setting up a business or doctor's office.

    • Seven-year-old Kayla loved her father's desk. As an expression of her affection, she often reorganized his things and straightened out all his drawers. That year, Kayla told her father all she wanted for Christmas was office supplies. He bought her dozens of supplies, including staples, erasers, pens, clips, and color-coded file folders. He wrapped each item separately, so she had a lot of gifts to open. Years later, she still remembered that Christmas fondly and maintained it was the best she had ever had.

    The Joys and Challenges of Raising School-Aged ENTJs

    Because ENTJs are always in need of a challenge, they tend to take on projects that may be too big or too difficult for them to realistically manage or finish. ENTJs don't see things as they are, but instead see how they want them to be or how they ought to be. But because they have such a clear goal in mind, they typically brush off constructive criticism or words of caution and just plunge in. If they do become overwhelmed with the details of managing such big project,s they may even refuse assistance, because being helped takes away their greatest satisfaction – the pride of doing it on their own. Naturally, they get a big surge of energy once they successfully finish any project.

    • Ten-year-old Sarah told her family she was going to make breakfast for all five of them, by herself. Her father peeked into the kitchen to see how she was doing and found three batches of burned waffles dumped into the sink. There was fresh-squeezed orange juice in everyone's glass and sliced strawberries and bananas on each plate. But getting the waffle iron just the right temperature had been a problem, and Sarah now only had enough eggs for one more batch. When her father smiled at the pile of rejected waffles, Sarah burst into angry tears. Letting her father see her failures was just too much for her. He immediately apologized and asked what he could do for her. She reluctantly allowed him to keep an eye on the waffles and tell her when they were ready while she finished setting out the silverware and napkins. Then she made him promise not to tell anyone she had cried about the waffles.

    Sarah's emotional reaction is surprising but not at all uncommon for strong-willed and competency-driven ENTJs who become overwhelmed. Because they appear to be so totally self-confident and emotionally self-contained, it can surprise those around them when they have an outburst. Since they rely so much on their Thinking, ENTJs are often not comfortable or completely at ease with their feelings. They usually hate to cry and will fight to hold back their tears even when they really are hurt. Instead, ENTJs trust their sense of logic and their ability to use their rational thinking skills to sort things out. Their emotional lives are often very private, and sometimes even underdeveloped, compared with their almost adult-like ability to make tough decisions or solve problems in creative ways.

    • Christopher and his father were driving down a stretch of highway that had a particularly large number of dead animals alongside the road. As they drove along, Christopher kept his hands folded under his chin. Christopher's father noticed that each time they passed a dead skunk or other animal, Christopher would turn his head away from his father and squeeze his eyes shut for a few seconds. Finally, his father asked what he was doing. Christopher was quiet for a moment and then softly admitted he was saying a prayer for each of the dead animals. His father was very moved, but respecting his son's obvious need for privacy, he remained silent.

    But far and away the biggest challenge for parents raising school-aged ENTJs is to remain objective and logical when setting and enforcing important limits. Most ENTJs are always pressing for more freedom, more self-determination, and more control of themselves and their environment. They want input into anything that affects them and can be counted on to initiate frequent 'discussions' about such things as extending bedtimes or curfews or increasing allowances. They need to feel that they are making progress toward a larger goal of self-sufficiency and will generally rise to any formidable challenge you place before them. As one ten-year old once announced to his mother, 'I just learn better competitively.' Trying to keep ENTJs from growing up quickly is like trying to hold back the tide. Resisting them only undermines their sense of your belief and confidence in them.

    For strong Feeling parents, raising these rather matter-of-fact and sometimes businesslike children can be particularly challenging. They just don't have the same need to demonstrate their innermost feelings of affection and may not want or accept physical affection, kisses, and hugs as much as you want to give and get them.

    • Courtney's parents had a hard time accepting that their daughter was just not comfortable snuggling or expressing her love for her parents. It seemed embarrassing, redundant, and unnecessary to her. Courtney's parents realized that, for this child, their actions spoke louder than words. They found they could show their daughter how much they cared for her by listening to her views, respecting her opinions, and giving her a chance to run the show.

    Sometimes, the naked honesty of ENTJs can be off-putting. ENTJs don't mince words or worry about couching their reactions or opinions in soft or diplomatic terms.

    • Simon once said to his mother, 'Mom, you're not exactly pretty, but I really like your personality.' Luckily, his mother was also a Thinking type and not only received the comment as it was intended, but agreed and concurred that one's personality was much more important than one's superficial physical features.

    ENTJs are often blessed with the ability to size people up rather quickly and may need to be reminded to share those observations and judgments privately, rather than immediately, right to the person's face. It's rarely mean-spirited criticism, but it can be unintentionally hurtful, and they may need to work at holding their tongues, rather than just blurting out their first, albeit sincere, impressions.

    Since ENTJs naturally look beyond the present moment, and the obvious to the future and the possible, they may seem ungrateful for the opportunities and possessions they have. It's important for parents to remember that simply because their ENTJs are forever reaching for the next experience, the next challenge or reward, it doesn't mean they are spoiled or unappreciative of all they already have. This is an easy but erroneous conclusion parents often draw. As we strive to give our children more advantages than we had, we cannot be indignant or angry with them when they receive all we give them and still focus on what's to come. They may well be served by gently pointing out their many blessing, but we do that more effectively when we model that value rather than launching into long speeches or lectures.

  3. #3
    ENTJ - The Executives

    Thanks for the awesome article that you posted Grey
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  5. #4
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Adolescent ENTJs
    Age 11 to 16

    For these 'born to be grown-up' ENTJs, the adolescent years may seem to start well ahead of children of other types. Parents may worry that their ENTJ teens are taking on more responsibility than they need to in their urge to show the world how capable they are. In junior and senior high school, many ENTJs become exceedingly busy with school projects and extracurricular activities like serving in student government, writing or editing the school yearbook or newspaper, performing in the band, or competing on debate teams. It would not be uncommon for ENTJs to appear on national TV to compete in a high school academic quiz show. As a rule, while some adolescent ENTJs find the regular classroom schoolwork to be boring or like busywork, they excel on achievement tests or other opportunities to prove they know their stuff. While they love learning, they grow tired of having to prove they know the material. Good teachers recognize ENTJs' need to be challenged and find creative ways to relieve these students' growing impatience by giving them opportunities to take the curriculum to new places, to make discoveries, and to draw more complex conclusions. ENTJs have a tendency to act a bit superior and even be arrogant. They need learning opportunities that challenge their oftentimes 'know it all' attitude.

    Socially, ENTJ teens often continue to have a wide and varied group of friends and may have a particular affinity for the less-conventional, more unusual people in school. They are intrigued with people and things out of the ordinary, so they may be eager to travel to other countries or meet and befriend exchange students. They are usually strongly independent and often challenge any preconceived expectations of them. As one fourteen-year-old ENTJ said to her father, 'Dad, people don't have to be like other people if they don't want to!' They may especially be attracted to counter-culture ideas or behavior in order to create their own, unique persona that is sharply different from those of their parents and their peers. ENTJs need encouragement from their parents to create their individual, perhaps off-the-beaten-path style. In fact, because they are so often admired by their peers, they may be the trendsetters in their peer group.

    • Fifteen-year-old Justin had his own sense of what was cool. He tended to be a unique and even a flamboyant dresser, intrigued with the effect his choice of clothes had on other people but never concerned if they didn't like it. For Halloween, he went to school dressed as a pink crayon. His father sometimes worried about how often and far his son put himself 'out there' but Justin was never fearful and never felt it necessary to tone down his style just to not make waves. In fact, making waves and then watching the reaction was one of his favorite pastimes.

    Not surprisingly, theater often provides a real haven and source of great satisfaction and joy for older ENTJs. They seem to come alive on stage and may be energized by the whole competitive process of auditioning. They can be very passionate about their acting and express a characteristic sureness that they want to be professional actors, directors, playwrights, or screenwriters after college. They usually like and need to be prepared, as opposed to improvising. They often conduct themselves with such self-assurance that they already seem like professional actors.

    Unfortunately, growing ENTJ girls may find a real pressure to be more feminine or act less sure of themselves. It is a real problem in this culture that when strong-minded, independent girls approach adolescence, they begin to lose their self-confidence and back away from the challenges and risks they have always taken with confidence and success. Parents who accept and express acceptance of their ENTJ daughters' strength and courage can help them move through the minefield of adolescence with fewer causalities to their self-esteem. Parents may need to actively encourage their daughters to continue to speak their minds during their difficult period of time. By consciously refraining from comparing their daughters to more outwardly feminine young women, parents help their daughters believe they, too, can ignore the looks and comments from society. Parents can find and encourage mentoring relationships with strong, successful, happy adult ENTJ women so their ENTJ daughters will have positive role models to look up to. This will help them stick to their guns and not compromise themselves to fit into a society that still insists that girls and women put others' needs and opinions ahead of their own. While they may never verbalize it, being a strong, logical girl in this culture is very hard. By standing up for your ENTJ daughter and loudly and consistently expressing your approval of who she is, you will help prepare her for the road ahead.
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  6. #5
    INTJ - The Scientists

    The ENTJ in a Crystal Ball

    Lasting self-esteem for ENTJs of any age comes from being valued and respected for their unique perspective and their high degree of personal, intellectual, and interpersonal competence. ENTJs need to feel the power to take charge of their lives and show the world that they are capable and competent people on their own terms. They need to be allowed to challenge the people and limits in their environment, question authority and the status quo, and develop a set of beliefs and conclusions that they know to be logical and right, regardless of what others think. Encouraging their creativity and finding positive outlets for their critical thinking skills will help them to employ their fierce determination in constructive ways. Parents who encourage their ENTJs to work toward realizing their own vision raise children who grow up knowing they are accepted and understood for who they are.

    At their best, ENTJs are strong, independent, intellectual, and confident people with high personal standards. They can be ingenious and creative problem solvers, admired and respected leaders, and gifted performers and producers of the creative arts. Most ENTJs look for constantly increasing challenges and embark on a lifelong quest for personal power and influence in their communities. They are usually willing to stick their necks out, take risks to change the world, and aspire to be the best at whatever they are doing. Encouraged and supported as children for being strong individuals, while being helped to take their time to slow down and remain open to their more sensitive side, ENTJs can find balance in their busy and impressive lives. By respecting and appreciating their children's natural strengths and determination, parents give their ENTJs the priceless gift of unconditional love.

    Recapping What Works with ENTJs

    • Expect lots of questions and be prepared to offer logical, accurate answers or to admit when you don't know and go find out the right answer.
    • Be consistent as well as fair.
    • Save materials you might ordinarily throw away (paper towel tubes, old parts of broken appliances, odds and ends) and encourage your children to use them for their inventions and art projects.
    • Ask for their opinions and listen to their theories.
    • Delegate as many projects, tasks, and responsibilities to them as early as possible.
    • Compliment them on their logical arguments; be willing to let them win when they have earned it.
    • Expose them to as many performing arts as possible; help them follow their creative inclinations by offering supplies, time, support, and an appreciative audience.
    • Give them plenty of opportunities to make new friends and outlets for their physical energy.
    • Model open and honest communication of feelings; teach by example the importance of gentleness, kindness, and generosity without the expectation of a payoff.
    • Be honest, direct, and clear in your feedback and directions; don't use your own emotions to blackmail them into doing what you want.
    • Expect to be challenges; present the logical reasons for the things you want them to do.
    • Rephrase their tactless comments, and be sure to offer plenty of examples of how to persuade, rather than to push people to do what you want them to do.
    • Recognize their drive for competence and their tendency to see others as incompetent when they simply disagree with them; encourage them to slow down and look deeper to discover they don't yet have all the answers.

    [Source: Nurture by Nature: Understand Your Child's Personality Type – And Become a Better Parent by Barbara Barron-Tieger and Paul D. Tieger]

  7. #6
    ESTP - The Doers

    This is hands down one of the best articles posted on PerC. It brought me back a bit, let me tell you that.

    ENTJs like organizing and supervising activities and are usually great at getting other children to work with them. Many ENTJs love theater and enjoy performing on stage. They enjoy being the center of attention and have a strong flair for dramatics.

    * At the age of 8, I was the Wizard in a Wizard of Oz production set up my by mother's theatre company, which was displayed in the town's theatre hall in front of like 300 people.

    Cassie even had a Rolodex of her own, full of friends' names and numbers, carefully alphabetized, which she constantly updated.

    * I still remember when I used to sit on the chair, flicking through the alphabetised phonebook looking for my friends phone numbers... if it wasn't in phonebook number 2, it might be in the older one...

    Fairness is absolutely essential to ENTJs. They spend a lot of time talking about it and demanding it and have an innate sense of justice for themselves and others. They understand and can apply this concept way before concept like sharing or the necessity of occasionally making exceptions for special circumstances. They tend to hold themselves and everyone else hard and fast to the rules.

    ENTJs don't see things as they are, but instead see how they want them to be or how they ought to be.

    * I recall that my mother once told me that I should be fair. Later that day, she made some sort of decision and I replied "That isn't fair!" and she replied casually "Well, the world isn't fair." My response was "Well it should be."

    Anyway, these are of course anecdotes. These articles really did take me back to the happy days of my childhood. Cheers Happy.
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  8. #7
    ENTJ - The Executives

    i loved each and every monment i spent reading this. it really brought me back as well. it was great.
    Runade, Headcase and ColoradoGrrrl thanked this post.

  9. #8
    ENTJ - The Executives

    This really is one of the best articles on here. I sometimes question how I am different than other ENTJ's on here, but after reading this, I realize it is just experience. My experience and the way I was raised differs, causing different parts of my personality to manifest in different ways. I do act like all of these things but the way I present it varies depending on who I am dealing with. I was a consistent ENTJ child though. It was difficult growing up with an entire family of feelers. They thought I was a bit arrogant and ungrateful, but I was just seeing things that could be better and would tell them. Sometimes they would get angry and tell me that it was no place for a little girl to say and do things I would do when I would try to take charge. I always just thought it was funny that a child could see the right thing to do when they couldn't and when I would tell them, they would get annoyed and ignore me even if they couldn't for a logical argument against what I would say. I have had too many, "I told ya so" moments ha!
    Sovereign, MsBossyPants, QueenOfCats and 2 others thanked this post.

  10. #9
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by Parad0x View Post
    This really is one of the best articles on here. I sometimes question how I am different than other ENTJ's on here, but after reading this, I realize it is just experience. My experience and the way I was raised differs, causing different parts of my personality to manifest in different ways. I do act like all of these things but the way I present it varies depending on who I am dealing with. I was a consistent ENTJ child though. It was difficult growing up with an entire family of feelers. They thought I was a bit arrogant and ungrateful, but I was just seeing things that could be better and would tell them. Sometimes they would get angry and tell me that it was no place for a little girl to say and do things I would do when I would try to take charge. I always just thought it was funny that a child could see the right thing to do when they couldn't and when I would tell them, they would get annoyed and ignore me even if they couldn't for a logical argument against what I would say. I have had too many, "I told ya so" moments ha!
    I am in the same boat. I wonder what I would be like if I hadn't had to spend years completely forgetting my upbringing. My ENTJ tendencies were latent in many cases because "being who I was" was discouraged. Don't get me wrong, I was allowed to participate in things, make friends, and go do things. However, the direct, logical approach I take to things was physically beaten out of me at a young age by the Fi, Fe, and Si of my parents. They just thought I was strong-willed (which I was) and felt compelled to try to break it (bad idea). I hated my father until I left home, and it was only then that I really learned to be "me". I kinda feel like I lost something.... like 18 years of my life. lol
    -Halo-, n2freedom, SaraGoop and 3 others thanked this post.

  11. #10
    ENTJ - The Executives

    It changes how I see my past knowing I am not the only one. I had some physical beatings myself. When I say they would say it was no place for a little girl, you have to read it in a tone that is severely annoyed and think of it coming from a person feeling like their authority is being called into question by someone who shouldn't be saying anything in the first place in the matter. I only got worse myself. I would rebel like crazy when someone would tell me I couldn't do something.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sovereign View Post
    I am in the same boat. I wonder what I would be like if I hadn't had to spend years completely forgetting my upbringing. My ENTJ tendencies were latent in many cases because "being who I was" was discouraged. Don't get me wrong, I was allowed to participate in things, make friends, and go do things. However, the direct, logical approach I take to things was physically beaten out of me at a young age by the Fi, Fe, and Si of my parents. They just thought I was strong-willed (which I was) and felt compelled to try to break it (bad idea). I hated my father until I left home, and it was only then that I really learned to be "me". I kinda feel like I lost something.... like 18 years of my life. lol
    SaraGoop, Thomas329, Headcase and 1 others thanked this post.


     
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