[ENTJ] Rambling of an ENTJ Woman about Dating -- Let the Pandora's Box Open! - Page 27

Rambling of an ENTJ Woman about Dating -- Let the Pandora's Box Open!

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This is a discussion on Rambling of an ENTJ Woman about Dating -- Let the Pandora's Box Open! within the ENTJ Forum - The Executives forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by elizabethgrace high school high school=hormones, once in while you will find somebody different but dont put hope ...

  1. #261
    ENTJ - The Executives

    Quote Originally Posted by elizabethgrace View Post
    high school
    high school=hormones, once in while you will find somebody different but dont put hope in that

  2. #262

    Quote Originally Posted by elizabethgrace View Post
    I'm in high school and have only experienced heartache once. It was all because I lost my mind and got together, almost, with a guy from my class who was a friend of mine, and another ENTJ friend thought we'd be good together. On the day I was going to talk to him to solidify our relationship, my friend told me that she just found out that he was going out with another girl publicly. I was so upset, and now, that I have my head back on my shoulders, I am not planning on dating for a while. I'm still very young, and every one I know at my high school are still little boys in 6' bodies.
    Life is a buffet. Durex and Kleenex are your best friends.

  3. #263
    INTJ - The Scientists

    So where's the intern apply form?

  4. #264
    ENTJ

    Quote Originally Posted by high_heels View Post
    Ok, let me just be as blunt and as open as possible about my predicament.


    Broke off with a 4 year relationship and I decided to let my hair down and just [email protected] it and just live!

    I started seeing this guy for a few weeks now, as what he said he is an INTP bordering ENTP. Cerebral wise we get along so well. Talked and flirted, kissed a few times and enjoyed every moment of company over cocktails or common social circles. We are both guarded, logical and somehow [email protected] up with relationships and we laugh about it!

    So, just tonight after another session of meeting over a few cocktails we were just talking fine then I started asking questions...Straight forward questions that required straight forward answers! Nothing ground breaking, these were just personal questions that I thought would let him open up more. Well, that was always my way of "communicatiing" to get to know him. So we exchanged personal thoughts about yadah yadah yadah....and then we call it a night. The kiss was great, the flirting was exciting...but I can sensed that he is withdrawn and __________ (ladies and gents fill in the black please!).

    Came home and realized that I didn't want to beat around the bush. Told him straight earlier tonight that I liked him but I also told him that there are just things that we both know that we are cautious about (nothing serious, the guy isn't married, he was just probably worried that I might find out he wears a spongebob or superman printed underwears). So texted him and said, I don't think it will work out.

    My question is....is it out of my frustration that I can't seem to find anyone in this planet (or the other 8 planets in the universe) a level headed male individual who can butt heads with me and tell me straight about things? Or was it my straight forward no bullshit line of conversation, assertiveness, my persona, my everything that scares men off? Is it because I don't do the usual feminine way of flirting? Is it because I hail dominion to my craft and industry that I come off as STRONG?

    Hey, I'm human. I have my "emotional" needs (wow, ENTJ suddenly declaring she has those needs..news of the century here!). Our nature is to see the rationale and logic to things, I've calculated the potentional, I've also calculated the risks...But the damn the emotional attachment is there, and I feel like I have to just shut it down and move on since he suddenly withdraws!

    One more thing, I've tried dating other men.... It is just boring! Please please please.... is it me as an ENTJ or is the whole world not attuned to who we are?

    If this isn't working out, I'm signing in to be a nun!

    (P.S. feel free to humor me, or bluntly say anything you want to say).
    Just date another ENTJ. You clearly wish to date someone with a similar mindset and who reciprocates their feelings in a similar way.

  5. #265

    Quote Originally Posted by high_heels View Post
    Ok...ill be short with my update as I'm typing from my phone....

    As of today, my ISTJ is officially out of my house.
    I know this is a little late, but I have to throw in my $2. (Cuz it's more than 2 cents at this point)

    #1) STOP playing everything from a perspective of 'I'm an ENTJ'! I know it was mentioned a couple times throughout this thread, but using your personality type as an excuse for ANYTHING shows a lack of maturity and a huge amount of unwillingness to acknowledge change. You can be ENTJ and have feelings, or be sensitive. The two are not mutually exclusive.

    #2) I can completely relate to your most recent relationship, as my last one was exactly the same. Just the genders were switched. She wanted more emotions; I wanted less emotional seasickness. She had major trust issues; and I couldn't be completely honest about small things (a flaw I'm working on). She wanted to be in control; I wanted us to be equals, with equal say in major decision. I still wanted to be the man, and make the small decisions quickly. Like dinner haha.
    In the end, I decided after 8 months that it wasn't fair to either of us to drag out something that wouldn't work. She needed someone who could give her all the attention; I need someone who won't second-guess every move I make or word I say. We didn't understand each other, and it was best to not continue.

    #3) I agree with everyone who said that giving him access to your personal life and social media was a huge red flag. Control issues, trust issues, the list goes on. In my experience, the ones with trust issues are usually the ones who are not worthy of trust to begin with. And so the trend continues, judging from what you said about his own fidelity. You have the same problem I did- you want to think 'it won't happen to me', and you also want to change them. Both are extremely toxic, and can be dangerous.

    Bottom line: Stop blaming personality types. Stop trying to 'match' with people based on their types. Start looking for someone who fits your life based on tangible traits- honest, dependable, intelligent, etc. And when you have a consensus of people telling you something's bad, DON'T ignore them! There is probably over 300 combined years of experience, just in the people who told you to get out. Your piddly 30+ years can't hold a candle to that.

    I know you asked for honesty, so there ya go! I'm truly sorry to hear about your father's passing, and I do know how much it hurts to have to end things even if they are going poorly. Just keep your chin up; the right guy is out there!
    QueenofEagles and RedOnion thanked this post.

  6. #266

    I prefer feminine men, because they better compliment my natural personality. In my experience, most masculine men get freaked out by my competitive nature and logic, and take offence. Not to mention I've found them to often be more intellectually interesting from my experience.

  7. #267
    INTJ

    you know what I got a question: how to spot the difference between an ENTJ genuinely wanting a relationship, or just wanting to use you for stuff (money, casual sex, etc)? How does the ENTJ make those differences apparent?


     
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