This is a discussion on Rambling of an ENTJ Woman about Dating -- Let the Pandora's Box Open! within the ENTJ Forum - The Executives forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by elizabethgrace high school high school=hormones, once in while you will find somebody different but dont put hope ...
So where's the intern apply form?
#1) STOP playing everything from a perspective of 'I'm an ENTJ'! I know it was mentioned a couple times throughout this thread, but using your personality type as an excuse for ANYTHING shows a lack of maturity and a huge amount of unwillingness to acknowledge change. You can be ENTJ and have feelings, or be sensitive. The two are not mutually exclusive.
#2) I can completely relate to your most recent relationship, as my last one was exactly the same. Just the genders were switched. She wanted more emotions; I wanted less emotional seasickness. She had major trust issues; and I couldn't be completely honest about small things (a flaw I'm working on). She wanted to be in control; I wanted us to be equals, with equal say in major decision. I still wanted to be the man, and make the small decisions quickly. Like dinner haha.
In the end, I decided after 8 months that it wasn't fair to either of us to drag out something that wouldn't work. She needed someone who could give her all the attention; I need someone who won't second-guess every move I make or word I say. We didn't understand each other, and it was best to not continue.
#3) I agree with everyone who said that giving him access to your personal life and social media was a huge red flag. Control issues, trust issues, the list goes on. In my experience, the ones with trust issues are usually the ones who are not worthy of trust to begin with. And so the trend continues, judging from what you said about his own fidelity. You have the same problem I did- you want to think 'it won't happen to me', and you also want to change them. Both are extremely toxic, and can be dangerous.
Bottom line: Stop blaming personality types. Stop trying to 'match' with people based on their types. Start looking for someone who fits your life based on tangible traits- honest, dependable, intelligent, etc. And when you have a consensus of people telling you something's bad, DON'T ignore them! There is probably over 300 combined years of experience, just in the people who told you to get out. Your piddly 30+ years can't hold a candle to that.
I know you asked for honesty, so there ya go! I'm truly sorry to hear about your father's passing, and I do know how much it hurts to have to end things even if they are going poorly. Just keep your chin up; the right guy is out there!
I prefer feminine men, because they better compliment my natural personality. In my experience, most masculine men get freaked out by my competitive nature and logic, and take offence. Not to mention I've found them to often be more intellectually interesting from my experience.
you know what I got a question: how to spot the difference between an ENTJ genuinely wanting a relationship, or just wanting to use you for stuff (money, casual sex, etc)? How does the ENTJ make those differences apparent?