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This is a discussion on Ask an ENTJ a question within the ENTJ Forum - The Executives forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I've been there my friend, but I guess thanks to my tertiary Fe I didn't have problems expressing my emotions ...

  1. #1111
    ENTP

    I've been there my friend, but I guess thanks to my tertiary Fe I didn't have problems expressing my emotions (at the times when I had them) :)
    Don't get me wrong, I am not saying you don't like talking about emotions, I am saying that for an ENTJ, it requires a lot of trust to unleash the deepest emotions and to be willing to talk to them. (perifery Fi) Now, you opened up and you were shut down! It must've been difficult for you. I am sorry that you went threw all of that.

    If it makes you feel any better, here is my story about bullying (the title may be misleading), but maybe it can help:

    https://personalitycafe.com/guess-typ...i-am-entj.html @Fumetsu

  2. #1112
    ENTP

    @Handsome Jack What I am saying is that Fi perifery users aka Te dominant users (ENTJs and ESTJs) have a fixation about wanting to come across as authoritative and competent and they even want people to fear of them in a way... To be intimidated by their "superiority" .

    The thig is yall can fool many people, but when somebody as mind-reading as an ENTP :P puts you in your place, there is nothing as hurtful when you feel powerless again. I am not saying that if somebody is denying you, he is destroying you, but if somebody is as REALISTIC enough as to burst your bubble and make you believe how much you are worth, once YOU feel less about yourself, then you will be unhappy and truely sad in a INFP kind of manner, Peace out bro

  3. #1113
    ENTJ - The Executives

    Quote Originally Posted by enfpeeved View Post
    Perhaps I'm not coming across clearly - what I was saying was that I am not walking away, because I don't feel able to do that.

    I am trying to understand the causes of my ENTJs behavior so that I can modify my own, in the hopes that I can act in a more mature fashion; less emotionally unstable, less attached, etc.
    although this "sound" better most of my points still remain, the moment you understand its not about him but you, things will start to get better, in the meantime excuses wil be your best friends
    Santa Gloss thanked this post.

  4. #1114

    Quote Originally Posted by Octopus1 View Post
    @Handsome Jack What I am saying is that Fi perifery users aka Te dominant users (ENTJs and ESTJs) have a fixation about wanting to come across as authoritative and competent and they even want people to fear of them in a way... To be intimidated by their "superiority" .

    The thig is yall can fool many people, but when somebody as mind-reading as an ENTP :P puts you in your place, there is nothing as hurtful when you feel powerless again. I am not saying that if somebody is denying you, he is destroying you, but if somebody is as REALISTIC enough as to burst your bubble and make you believe how much you are worth, once YOU feel less about yourself, then you will be unhappy and truely sad in a INFP kind of manner, Peace out bro
    I understand what you're saying, and once again, I'm saying it would not and that I disagree.

    Your posts were laced with inaccurate assumptions left and right but thank you for your attempt to learn more about us.

    Edit: I don't think you understand where I'm coming from. I'll elaborate.

    The issue I have with your posts (via my Ni) is your underlying assumption that ENTJs are desperately trying to project power and dominance at all times over other people. Also, that we're secretly insecure and fearful that someone's going to call us out/expose us on this supposed (nonexistent) bluff. This is not the case.

    ENTJs are raw, real, blunt, authentic, and tough as shit. Due to being so action/results/goal oriented it's difficult for ENTJs to get delusional about their situation/standing if proof just simply isn't there to back it up. We don't want to 'come across' as competent -- we are competent. We're not trying to 'act' tough -- we are tough. We don't need an ENTP or any other type to 'burst our bubble' since the bubble itself doesn't exist.
    Last edited by Handsome Jack; 02-17-2016 at 05:15 PM.
    Vanitas, MsBossyPants, Sangoire and 1 others thanked this post.

  5. #1115

    dup post
    Last edited by MsBossyPants; 02-17-2016 at 06:41 PM.
    Handsome Jack thanked this post.

  6. #1116

    Quote Originally Posted by Octopus1 View Post
    Hello dear fellow rationals! Considering ENTJ's perifery Fi, which can be tricky (aka the typical "convincing myself I am OK so that I will act tough, and authoritative while on the inside I am crushing and shaking") what are the biggest scars in life you ever got? What got your heart broken? What got your pride shaken? What got your self-esteem crushed?
    Um, no. Crushing and shaking on the inside? What? no.

    Don't get all defensive since I don't mean any harm, I just know my stuff.
    Clearly not.

    The perifery Fi is REALLY dangerous, it is like an atomic bomb shoved deep down that has little chance of exploading, but if it DOES, it ruins you, ENTJs.
    First, no it's not like an atomic bomb. And second, ruins us? Ruins? If that were so, we'd all be little smoldering piles of rubble before our second birthday. So, no.

    So, I am guessing probably someone not letting you be the leader or declinig you, or saying you aren't the best. I guess that for an ENTJ the worst thing in the world is defeat. Prove me wrong!
    No, again. It just means someone else fought a better battle. If so, they should win. "Defeat" is merely a chance to learn something for the next time. Meh. Pfft. Tomorrow is another day. **shrug**

    Quote Originally Posted by Octopus1 View Post
    @Handsome Jack What I am saying is that Fi perifery users aka Te dominant users (ENTJs and ESTJs) have a fixation about wanting to come across as authoritative and competent and they even want people to fear of them in a way... To be intimidated by their "superiority" .
    Incorrect again. I have no desire to come across as someone who should be feared. My goal is to lead in a way that makes people want to follow. This is accomplished by being inclusive, respectful, and acknowledging the individual's contribution to the whole. This cannot be accomplished through intimidation or though behaving as though superior to others.

    The thig is yall can fool many people,
    who is trying to fool people?

    but when somebody as mind-reading as an ENTP :P puts you in your place,
    aw, you're so cute

    there is nothing as hurtful when you feel powerless again. I am not saying that if somebody is denying you, he is destroying you, but if somebody is as REALISTIC enough as to burst your bubble and make you believe how much you are worth,
    Your subjective opinion has no value to me. Bring me something objective and I'll take a look at it.

    (once YOU feel less about yourself, then you will be unhappy and truely sad in a INFP kind of manner, Peace out bro
    Nah.
    Mr Canis, Lesuhlee and Handsome Jack thanked this post.

  7. #1117

    Quote Originally Posted by MsBossyPants View Post
    Um, no. Crushing and shaking on the inside? What? no.



    Clearly not.

    First, no it's not like an atomic bomb. And second, ruins us? Ruins? If that were so, we'd all be little smoldering piles of rubble before our second birthday. So, no.

    No, again. It just means someone else fought a better battle. If so, they should win. "Defeat" is merely a chance to learn something for the next time. Meh. Pfft. Tomorrow is another day. **shrug**

    Incorrect again. I have no desire to come across as someone who should be feared. My goal is to lead in a way that makes people want to follow. This is accomplished by being inclusive, respectful, and acknowledging the individual's contribution to the whole. This cannot be accomplished through intimidation or though behaving as though superior to others.



    who is trying to fool people?



    aw, you're so cute

    Your subjective opinion has no value to me. Bring me something objective and I'll take a look at it.

    Nah.
    Okay, I'm glad one of us did this.
    MsBossyPants thanked this post.

  8. #1118
    ENTJ - The Executives

    Quote Originally Posted by Octopus1 View Post
    what are the biggest scars in life you ever got? What got your heart broken? What got your pride shaken? What got your self-esteem crushed?
    Don't get all defensive since I don't mean any harm
    Prove me wrong! :
    You've asked us to rehash painful and harmful experiences, then say you mean no harm, and ask us not to get defensive.

    Yet another case of Fe entering the ENTJ sub, poking us with a stick, and waiting for a growl.

    This, just like your original post, is pointless. I, for one, have little time to entertain pointlessness.
    Handsome Jack thanked this post.

  9. #1119

    Quote Originally Posted by Handsome Jack View Post
    Okay, I'm glad one of us did this.
    I'm not busy right now. Had some time to kill.
    Handsome Jack thanked this post.

  10. #1120

    Ok @Fumetsu 's courage in sharing her story has made me curious.

    How do ENTJ's react when no matter how hard they try, they just can't succeed/their power is diminished and yet the option to stop/withdraw/regroup/take another path is (for whatever reason) not available?

    Is @Fumetsu 's response typical or atypical? Do you fall into the grip of your inferior function? Does it look like this:

    https://www.opp.com/en/tools/MBTI/MB...ity-types/ENTJ

    Or is that just a bunch of crap?

    More importantly, how can your partner/loved ones help you when/if this happens?

    Thank you (in advance) for sharing ... I appreciate that it may be disconcerting/uncomfortable for you to discuss this.

    EDIT: For the sake of comparison:
    When I am in this position, I become cold, hard, anal retentive about specific details, paralysed with self doubt, defensive and downright inflexible until I feel that my power is restored. It's not pretty :-(
    Last edited by Sangoire; 02-18-2016 at 02:13 AM. Reason: see edit + link updated to a more concise description


     
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