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This is a discussion on Ask an ENTJ a question within the ENTJ Forum - The Executives forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by Scarlet.Black I mean that I don't think that there are so big differences between NT males and ...

  1. #1511
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlet.Black View Post
    I mean that I don't think that there are so big differences between NT males and females as between NF males and females. This is because Feelers will much more easily change their behavior so that it will reply to expectations. :)
    Emmm.....no we dont really reply to expectations. We reply to the emotions of people. Big difference, and saying that to an NF will offend them. Letting you know :) An example, my father expected me to be a "lady". I chose and still choose to dress as a tomboy and behave as such. I am not a lady, I hate heels, make up, small talk and being around females alot. He expected me to be that way, I told him I wasnt and he needs to accept that; even before I knew i made it clear via behavior thats not me and I do not care. Its the same with all NFs, we dont aim for others expectations but our own. We aim to please people emotionally. Like i took up nursing cuz it meant alot to my dad, not me. I switched of course, but I did it cuz it made him happy. Now im happier and.....well hes still all ESTJ on me about getting a government job and getting married.....ugh.........-___-

  2. #1512
    ENTJ


    PSA: don't ask a question if you don't intend to accpet the answer.

  3. #1513

    Quote Originally Posted by Artemis 2x4 View Post
    Emmm.....no we dont really reply to expectations. We reply to the emotions of people. Big difference, and saying that to an NF will offend them. Letting you know :)

    Its the same with all NFs, we dont aim for others expectations but our own.
    You wanted to talk about this so I expected that you wanted to know what I think - not just say something you would like to hear :P

    If you change your actions because not fullfilling peoples expectations will make them emotional so yes you are still changing your behaviour to fullfill expectations. It doesn't matter why you are doing it. I am NF too so I would say that you are making quite big simplifications here. For example Fe and Fi works very differently and we are all also individuals. My long-term plan is to keep people near me happy and safe - not just soften their lives and keep them comfortable. If something has to be said I will open my mouth even if people doesn't like to hear me. But yes I keep doing things I don't like just to keep the peace and make things easier - I fullfill expectations if I find that it help my purpose. Sure I has my own goal but it doesn't change reality.

    Another thing is that we often have high expectations and romantic ideas about others - and often those are quite stereotypical. We might not focus on looks or things like that BUT many of us seems to think that somebody is gonna come and complete us. You don't think that expecting someone to balance you or make you feel better about yourself is stereotypical? How do you think that stereotypes take shapes? Why do you think that we have them? For NTs who rely on themselves and not others? I am not trying to be mean.
    Last edited by Scarlet.Black; 04-30-2016 at 05:52 AM.
    Artemis 2x4 thanked this post.

  4. #1514
    Unknown

    ENTJs do you fall in love easily?

  5. #1515

    Quote Originally Posted by Banter View Post
    ENTJs do you fall in love easily?
    With the right person actually, yes.

    We just have very high standards. It takes sifting through literally hundreds of girls to find one that it'll happen with. We're not the type to pick the prettiest person in a group of 20 people and think we're going to spend our life with them, that person may become a friend. We pick the best all around person we find in the literaly hundreds of people we cross paths with within a week and then investigate further, and even then about 3/4 people fail.

    However if you're the one. We fall very easy.
    Artemis 2x4 and Prada thanked this post.

  6. #1516

    Quote Originally Posted by Fumetsu View Post
    PSA: don't ask a question if you don't intend to accpet the answer.
    Good lord my estj mother does this a lot. Can't handle it lol. She gives you two options and when you choose one of them she either complains, asks you to clarify, or suggests 15 reasons to choose the other, or even worse says something about how I basically mean the other. I caught her doing it to my 5 year old niece too. "Do you want to stay or to go with gama?" "I want to go" "are you sure you don't want to stay" "I want to go" "pop pop will stay and watch you" "I want to go" "we will have To move your car seat."

    Not only is this annoying but she's the worst about this when making important decisions, meaning that time is of the essence.
    Artemis 2x4 thanked this post.

  7. #1517
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlet.Black View Post
    You wanted to talk about this so I expected that you wanted to know what I think - not just say something you would like to hear :P

    If you change your actions because not fullfilling peoples expectations will make them emotional so yes you are still changing your behaviour to fullfill expectations. It doesn't matter why you are doing it. I am NF too so I would say that you are making quite big simplifications here. For example Fe and Fi works very differently and we are all also individuals. My long-term plan is to keep people near me happy and safe - not just soften their lives and keep them comfortable. If something has to be said I will open my mouth even if people doesn't like to hear me. But yes I keep doing things I don't like just to keep the peace and make things easier - I fullfill expectations if I find that it help my purpose. Sure I has my own goal but it doesn't change reality.

    Another thing is that we often have high expectations and romantic ideas about others - and often those are quite stereotypical. We might not focus on looks or things like that BUT many of us seems to think that somebody is gonna come and complete us. You don't think that expecting someone to balance you or make you feel better about yourself is stereotypical? How do you think that stereotypes take shapes? Why do you think that we have them? For NTs who rely on themselves and not others? I am not trying to be mean.
    Yes! I loved you told me that! I mean its your understanding I am guessing correct? Can I not give my opinion? :( I mean I was just saying it has a chance to offend one of us.

    Hmmm....I was clarifying that we do not focus on the expectations itself, but the emotions of the person. See I will change something to make someone happy, but I am not in any way focus on the expectation, rather seeing them happy. Its why its really easy for us to just stop giving ourselves to people. Like my dropping nursing and saying I hate it. I mean I also did nursing cuz I was curious about it. perhaps I am making big simplifications, so it may just be me or INFPs in general (also ENFPs since we are like twins XP) But honestly I dont do anything because someone expects me to. I do it cuz i like to see them happy. I will not do something I am not okay with to make someone happy however, i dont have Fe and thats just not happening. Cuz i pay no need to anyones expectations but my own (Fi).

    Quite true we do..........sigh I love that about me :3

    Looks? O.o Ehhhh.........no. I dont think anyone is going to come complete me honestly; rather compliment me XP I dont think its stereotypical rather its a common feeling any human being wants because we crave connection and acceptance. Thats actually love anyways; acceptance.

  8. #1518
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by BIGJake111 View Post
    With the right person actually, yes.

    We just have very high standards. It takes sifting through literally hundreds of girls to find one that it'll happen with. We're not the type to pick the prettiest person in a group of 20 people and think we're going to spend our life with them, that person may become a friend. We pick the best all around person we find in the literaly hundreds of people we cross paths with within a week and then investigate further, and even then about 3/4 people fail.

    However if you're the one. We fall very easy.
    What is the "one" then? O.o Wonder what kind of high standards you guys have anyways........Cuz INFPs have high moral standards. :3

  9. #1519
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by BIGJake111 View Post
    Good lord my estj mother does this a lot. Can't handle it lol. She gives you two options and when you choose one of them she either complains, asks you to clarify, or suggests 15 reasons to choose the other, or even worse says something about how I basically mean the other. I caught her doing it to my 5 year old niece too. "Do you want to stay or to go with gama?" "I want to go" "are you sure you don't want to stay" "I want to go" "pop pop will stay and watch you" "I want to go" "we will have To move your car seat."

    Not only is this annoying but she's the worst about this when making important decisions, meaning that time is of the essence.
    lmao, why cant she say, "Awww, but I want you to stay with me. :/"? Or "Okay, I will miss you though! :)" O.o

  10. #1520

    @Artemis 2x4 and @Scarlet.Black


    I'm the OP here.


    This is the "Ask an ENTJ a question thread"

    Please take your conversation to a pm.


     

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