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This is a discussion on Ask an ENTJ a question within the ENTJ Forum - The Executives forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by MsBossyPants I'd prefer to be left alone. I can work it out myself. The worst thing you ...

  1. #411
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by MsBossyPants View Post
    I'd prefer to be left alone. I can work it out myself.

    The worst thing you can do when I'm upset is offer empty platitudes, unsolicited advice, or a pep talk. I don't find that helpful, I find it a bit annoying. If I need or want help or advice, I'll ask for it.
    Alrighty thank you very very much, extremely helpful since i accidentally did that while she was mad. learned my lesson

  2. #412

    Quote Originally Posted by cake View Post
    Alrighty thank you very very much, extremely helpful since i accidentally did that while she was mad. learned my lesson
    Insight - usually when I'm angry it's because:

    someone is trying to control me, or

    something isn't working to my satisfaction and it's more venting of frustration than anger


    In the first scenario, someone else offering to tell me what's wrong with me is just going to add fuel to the fire.

    In the second, I need to figure it out. If I'm already frustrated and you start "happy talking" me, it bugs me.

    Curious ... What was she mad about? What did you say?

  3. #413
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by MsBossyPants View Post
    Insight - usually when I'm angry it's because:

    someone is trying to control me, or

    something isn't working to my satisfaction and it's more venting of frustration than anger


    In the first scenario, someone else offering to tell me what's wrong with me is just going to add fuel to the fire.

    In the second, I need to figure it out. If I'm already frustrated and you start "happy talking" me, it bugs me.

    Curious ... What was she mad about? What did you say?
    she was mad about something dumb(not gonna bother explaining it) but then I tried "happy talking" and so she ended up really being mad just about the way i handled it, and because of how long it took for me to realize she was upset, we talked about it the next day and now shes fine. Just trying to avoid this issue in the future.

  4. #414

    Quote Originally Posted by cake View Post
    she was mad about something dumb(not gonna bother explaining it) but then I tried "happy talking" and so she ended up really being mad just about the way i handled it, and because of how long it took for me to realize she was upset, we talked about it the next day and now shes fine. Just trying to avoid this issue in the future.
    Sorry if that felt like prying on my part. Was just curious.

    Glad you were able to work it out.
    cake thanked this post.

  5. #415
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by MsBossyPants View Post
    Sorry if that felt like prying on my part. Was just curious.

    Glad you were able to work it out.
    I have no problems talking about myself, however I have no clue how she would feel about me talking about her when shes not there. Thus why I won't go into detail.
    MsBossyPants thanked this post.

  6. #416

    What do ENTJs do to release stress after 5 days of heavy workload?
    Leviticus Cornwall thanked this post.

  7. #417
    ENTJ - The Executives

    Quote Originally Posted by MsBossyPants View Post
    Insight - usually when I'm angry it's because:

    someone is trying to control me, or

    something isn't working to my satisfaction and it's more venting of frustration than anger


    In the first scenario, someone else offering to tell me what's wrong with me is just going to add fuel to the fire.

    In the second, I need to figure it out. If I'm already frustrated and you start "happy talking" me, it bugs me.

    Curious ... What was she mad about? What did you say?
    HAHAHA!

    Just got 4 calls back to back:

    1. Employee calling out last minute.
    2. Employee 2 quit- no notice- internship acceptance leaves Mon.
    3. Investor: see you tomorrow! Let's talk numbers. Potential buy-in. From out of state randomly in town for the weekend.
    4. Mommie 'just calling to say hi! Chit chat! (And passive aggressively try to tell you how to manage your life)'

    *breathe*
    Frustrated- and I was like-- ok just give me a minute to think and figure it out---

    But I had to tread carefully with my infj mom because my frustration (in my eyes) gets interpreted as anger/ 'why are you yelling at me/ talking over me') by her. So I cut that call short; paused and during my 'think tank' minute, I paused and thought 'hmm, I'll see what's on the ENTJ sub.'

    And saw this post.

    I can TOTALLY relate.


  8. #418

    Quote Originally Posted by effenelle View Post
    What do ENTJs do to release stress after 5 days of heavy workload?
    Find what clears your mind.

    I get my favorite songs going, relaxing, grand stuff. And either go for a drive or just enjoy the music.

    It takes shutting down from the world for me to really relax and it's easiest for me to do that if I am still acting and thinking, but rather then by choice it's by instinct.

    Just getting lost on a backroad drive enjoying the sounds of exhaust and music while seated in an ergonomically perfect position can do wonders. Your mind turns to deep thought but not about anything that could cause stress.

    This sort of meditation will grow once it becomes full body, left foot clutch, right hand change gear, right foot rev match, eyes follow corner, ears toned to engine speed, mind thinking three corners ahead, left foot back off of clutch. Now you enter the corner. Your head tilts into the curve as if on a motorcycle following the line of the yellow. Your hands move the wheel incrementally to clip the apex as your foot is fluctuating the gas. You feel through your spine the torque in the rear wheels as the car tucks into the corner from more power being released by your right foot. You feel the grip reaching its edge as you give more and more gas and unwinde the wheel. The gs pulling you and the car away. The power pushing you in tighter. Then you are on the straight. All the while you've been taping your finger to the beat of the music and thinking of how grand her smile would be if she was in the passenger seat once again.

    Now down the straight your hands are free your foot is to the floor. You lose track of speed as the sound of exhaust gets louder and the revs reach 7k. Full body motion once again to shift but then back to foot down. Mind racing but relaxed, possibly singing to the music, full focus but no focus.

    Your eyes trace the trees around you and the openings of light through the leaves as you rise over the hills of the road and you prepare yourself for the next corner.

    Right foot break, left foot clutch in, down shift one gear. Two gears. You slow into the corner and feel the pull once again and string together the ribbon of road ahead of you. Smelling the German leather. Smelling the nature and feeling the wind in your hair. Hearing the intake right behind your ear. All mixed with a relaxing jazzy song.

    It's exhilarating and pumps adrenalin, requires full focus. However this is one of the few times I can think the most. Experience the most emotion and cleansing of my mind and soul. It's a beautiful contradiction and definitively a drug.

    TL:DR

    Find something that releases dopamine.


    Last edited by Leviticus Cornwall; 08-14-2015 at 06:57 PM.
    effenelle and Lesuhlee thanked this post.

  9. #419
    ENTJ - The Executives

    Ask an ENTJ a question

    TL,DR

    Find something that releases dopamine.
    This.
    Last edited by Lesuhlee; 08-14-2015 at 07:39 PM.
    Leviticus Cornwall thanked this post.

  10. #420

    Quote Originally Posted by BIGJake111 View Post
    Find what clears your mind.

    I get my favorite songs going, relaxing, grand stuff. And either go for a drive or just enjoy the music.

    It takes shutting down from the world for me to really relax and it's easiest for me to do that if I am still acting and thinking, but rather then by choice it's by instinct.

    Just getting lost on a backroad drive enjoying the sounds of exhaust and music while seated in an ergonomically perfect position can do wonders. Your mind turns to deep thought but not about anything that could cause stress.

    This sort of meditation will grow once it becomes full body, left foot clutch, right hand change gear, right foot rev match, eyes follow corner, ears toned to engine speed, mind thinking three corners ahead, left foot back off of clutch. Now you enter the corner. Your head tilts into the curve as if on a motorcycle following the line of the yellow. Your hands move the wheel incrementally to clip the apex as your foot is fluctuating the gas. You feel through your spine the torque in the rear wheels as the car tucks into the corner from more power being released by your right foot. You feel the grip reaching its edge as you give more and more gas and unwinde the wheel. The gs pulling you and the car away. The power pushing you in tighter. Then you are on the straight. All the while you've been taping your finger to the beat of the music and thinking of how grand her smile would be if she was in the passenger seat once again.

    Now down the straight your hands are free your foot is to the floor. You lose track of speed as the sound of exhaust gets louder and the revs reach 7k. Full body motion once again to shift but then back to foot down. Mind racing but relaxed, possibly singing to the music, full focus but no focus.

    Your eyes trace the trees around you and the openings of light through the leaves as you rise over the hills of the road and you prepare yourself for the next corner.

    Right foot break, left foot clutch in, down shift one gear. Two gears. You slow into the corner and feel the pull once again and string together the ribbon of road ahead of you. Smelling the German leather. Smelling the nature and feeling the wind in your hair. Hearing the intake right behind your ear. All mixed with a relaxing jazzy song.

    It's exhilarating and pumps adrenalin, requires full focus. However this is one of the few times I can think the most. Experience the most emotion and cleansing of my mind and soul. It's a beautiful contradiction and definitively a drug.

    TL:DR

    Find something that releases dopamine.


    Now if only I had a car.
    Leviticus Cornwall thanked this post.


     
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