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This is a discussion on Ask an ENTJ a question within the ENTJ Forum - The Executives forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by Okuni Gooo day ENTJs. I have a question for you. I'm an INFP that loves to write. ...

  1. #4221

    Quote Originally Posted by Okuni View Post
    Gooo day ENTJs. I have a question for you.

    I'm an INFP that loves to write. Right now I'm writing about a ENTJ antagonist/villain. I was wondering, of course, from a "stereotypical" level:

    -Is there something abstract that scares you?.

    I'll explain... I want to establish inside this character some abstract fears (Not just fear to die... that would be too simple) so can be used as platform for his/her actions. The goal with this question is to make this character more "grounded", "relatable".

    Let me start with an example: The only thing that scares me the most is to found myself completely alone. Not having someone to rely on and share a bond (connection).

    Thank you.


    P.D: Yeah... that was too "emotional". You don't have to go that far XD.
    I agree with @NT the DC ‘s post above about looking more to the Enneagram.

    I’m and 8w9 and probably what I abstractly fear most is that feeling that someone is trying to control me. I really don’t like that.

    8w9 tends to be more diplomatic than 8w7 (who tend to be a bit more outwardly aggressive), but we both have power and control issues that we have to work through.

    In my own observations being around other Type 8s:

    8w7 tends to shoot first and ask questions later (they have more “fiery”, quick tempered personalities— so they’re typically more aggressive and well ... loud, so they’ll get in your face if they feel threatened.)

    8w9 tends to hear you out and ask questions ... and then probably shoot you. (we’re more diplomatic and laid-back, but when pushed, rather than yell, will shoot you a look that will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Icy cold, rather than fiery)


    8w7 is more stereotypically the guy who reacts quickly, publicly, and decisively to quell any uprising. (wants to be in control)

    8w9 is more stereotypically the ice princess who picks her moment and privately shivs you when you’re not expecting it. (doesn’t want to be controlled by others)

    Either way, we don’t like it when people try to control us. So our biggest fear would probably be that lack of control felt when someone tries to get the best of us.
    NT the DC and Windblownhair thanked this post.

  2. #4222
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by Laurence View Post
    An ENTJ is supposedly the INTPs ideal match, and vice versa.

    But as an INTP, it has slowly become apparent that I have avoided ENTJs both casually and in looking for a romantic relationship.

    I sense that it is partly because I am afraid that it will fail. And because I would have a deeper, more meaningful relationship with them - it would be extra hurtful.

    Part of this fear is that I am not actually quite sure as to WHO ENTJs are. I haven't met enough to get to know them.

    My aunt is an ENTJ, she is very 'grande', but we have never managed to get close enough to get to experiment because I just seal up like a walnut when she's around.

    I also worked with an ENTJ and we did get to know each other a little, but not enough. He was not liked in the company we worked for. Probably because they were mostly 'S' types (who can be just downright awful). He claimed in front of everyone one day that in all his time here, I was his favourite. We had a very strong bond, but I felt like I was repressing myself. Maybe it was fear that I wouldn't be good enough.

    There was only one ENTJ in romantic relations. He was a Business student in a very prestigious business university. We had so much to talk about, but it was mostly intellectual, unlike my relationship with either of the other two ENTJs. I even sent him Snapchats of political theory books, which he loved. But ultimately with him, it was very clear that I was afraid that I was not going to be good enough. So I avoided him and he disappeared. Thinking about it now, if he was around again right now, I still wouldn't have the courage to overcome that fear of failure.

    What do I do?
    Something that might help you. ENTJs are super mush with our romantic partners with few expectations, as long as our partners meet our very few needs. We rarely ask for anything but when we do, we expect that because of our few demands, that our partners will meet them. IF you're the type of INTP that's resistant to any requests...because...your life, et al...even at the expense of your partner, then you're not likely compatible with ENTJs. But if you're the type of INTP who has a healthy grasp of Theory of Mind, then ENTJs might be a solid fit.

    My husband's a healthy INTP. We're hand in glove. My prior partner was an unhealthy INTP who turned out to be on the spectrum which we didn't know at the time but it helps to explain his 'extremely selfish' actions.

  3. #4223

    So I’m wondering if I am an ENTJ rather than an INTJ. It’s a recurring thought that has intensified over the past couple of years. I created a type me thread here. Should anyone be bored enough to care; ENTJ input would be valuable.

  4. #4224

    Quote Originally Posted by birdsintrees View Post
    So I’m wondering if I am an ENTJ rather than an INTJ. It’s a recurring thought that has intensified over the past couple of years. I created a type me thread here. Should anyone be bored enough to care; ENTJ input would be valuable.
    I would say ExTJ.
    However you do strike me as having a lot of "Sensor" traits.
    You claimed to dislike detail however you noted you're very organized and enjoy organizing; while being organized and being detail oriented are not exactly the same - they are related.
    Perhaps what you mean you dislike is focusing on unimportant minutia which has no logical context.
    Seems hard to be highly organized if you despise detail, it's at the very least task oriented.
    I would say given how you react to stress you're more Te, Te tends to be the type to focus on correcting their external environment in order to feel control. You said you speak and think at the same time which says you talk before you think to me lol.
    Also you noted things like enjoying raves in your youth, running, traveling, being a kinesthetic learner, practical, quick to take action, which are all very senor in nature.

    I'd lean towards ESTJ, but xxTJ are your strongest traits (Te).

  5. #4225

    Input appreciated but ESTJ is so far off the mark for me. Organised and detail oriented are not the same thing. I live with a Si dom and have several other people with strong Si around me - I’m not one of them.
    NT the DC thanked this post.

  6. #4226

    Quote Originally Posted by birdsintrees View Post
    Input appreciated but ESTJ is so far off the mark for me. Organised and detail oriented are not the same thing. I live with a Si dom and have several other people with strong Si around me - I’m not one of them.
    Our perception is always relative, which is why there are so many mistypes.
    People think that they're introverted because they are surrounded by strong extroverts, etc.
    Being around strong Si is going to make you seem less like an Si- it's akin to saying I am not Ni because I am around INTJ, INFJ, or hell maybe even a ESFJ who is a little more sensor than I am.

    What is the difference between being detail oriented and organized to you and why does that distinction lead you to conclude it's far off the mark? I find ESTJ and ENTJ are very alike as they both lead with Te, seems like one of the more common mistypes to me as everyone wants to be an intuitive for some reason. Again you know yourself better than I ever would, but I am interested in your thought process on this one.

  7. #4227

    Quote Originally Posted by NT the DC View Post
    Our perception is always relative, which is why there are so many mistypes.
    People think that they're introverted because they are surrounded by strong extroverts, etc.
    Being around strong Si is going to make you seem less like an Si- it's akin to saying I am not Ni because I am around INTJ, INFJ, or hell maybe even a ESFJ who is a little more sensor than I am.

    What is the difference between being detail oriented and organized to you and why does that distinction lead you to conclude it's far off the mark? I find ESTJ and ENTJ are very alike as they both lead with Te, seems like one of the more common mistypes to me as everyone wants to be an intuitive for some reason. Again you know yourself better than I ever would, but I am interested in your thought process on this one.
    I'm not in doubt of the functions I use, I was seeking input on what function leads. Ni/Se and Te/Fi have always been the functions I've tested and I have no reason to doubt that outcome.

    And putting the being around strong SI into context; I've also grown up with an ESFJ/INTP parenting duo, my brother is an ENTP and two of my closest friends are ENFP. I've got a handle on what this function looks like in different positions. It's not a function I use. I don't have a reason to -want- to be an intuitive. Striving to be a certain type is the silliest thing because you're essentially denying who you are.

    then there's the fact that the ESTJ type description just doesn't match my personality at all.

    Case closed as far as I'm concerned.

    The interesting part is where I truly identified as an introvert for so many years. And then I had kids and I've progressively become more extraverted. They do say that motherhood brings about neurological changes on a similar scale as puberty does so I'm wondering if that's what has driven the change or if I simply do not have the time to introvert anymore (lol) (well.. half lol half serious.)
    NT the DC thanked this post.

  8. #4228
    Unknown

    Hi @birdsintrees ,

    In MBTI, Introversion/Extroversion defines if your first function is introverted or extroverted. As your first function always stays your first, the I/E axis never evolves with age. Most of the time though, extroversion is defined like this. (Seeking external physical/social world for stimulation.)

    So one can be an ENTJ while being an introvert in (big five, or any other) definition. After all, one can "seek objective, factual information/rationale and functionality".... while looking at some statistics, alone on a desk. A-k-a, using Te while doing an "Introvert stuff".

    If you hesitate between ENTJ/INTJ, try to seek out if you have more Ni-Se or Te-Fi dichotomy.

    p.s : Most ExTJs I know don't look extroverted at all.
    p.s 2 : I didn't read the whole topic but yes you can be an Extrovert while not liking people and the contrary. I'm INTP and scores 75th percentile in Extroversion in most Big Five Tests because I like seeking out social and physical stimulation. Also know a couple of ESTJ/INTP, with the INTP being the social-butterfly-networker and the ESTJ being the lone librarian. MBTI is only about the function stack.
    Last edited by Cobble; 07-27-2019 at 01:59 PM.
    NT the DC thanked this post.

  9. #4229
    INFP

    I've heard Tim Ferries is an ENTJ, and this clip sort of persuaded me, what do you guys think? Do you think this is something ENTJs deal with?

    Starts at 5:06.
    Last edited by L P; 08-07-2019 at 10:10 PM.

  10. #4230

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    I've heard Tim Ferries is an ENTJ, and this clip sort of persuaded me, what do you guys think? Do you think this is something ENTJs deal with?

    Starts at 5:06.
    What is said at 5:06 I don't feel like I've struggled with. Self love as it's described or "putting the oxygen mask on yourself before you can save others" has been a motto of mine since I was in early college. It's something that stuck with me. People have said that I'm selfish while others have said I am driven to obtain my goals. I do that because I seek to make myself accomplish goals and that will be sacrificed for the immediate happiness of others. If you don't help me obtain my objective you are hindering me.

    Ultimately I feel, and have felt for a long time, that the bigger goal is to become so successful that I can afford to spend time helping others - especially those I care about and I know that getting stuck in a life pot hole will slow me down.


     

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