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This is a discussion on Ask an ENTJ a question within the ENTJ Forum - The Executives forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by Okuni Gooo day ENTJs. I have a question for you. I'm an INFP that loves to write. ...

  1. #4221

    Quote Originally Posted by Okuni View Post
    Gooo day ENTJs. I have a question for you.

    I'm an INFP that loves to write. Right now I'm writing about a ENTJ antagonist/villain. I was wondering, of course, from a "stereotypical" level:

    -Is there something abstract that scares you?.

    I'll explain... I want to establish inside this character some abstract fears (Not just fear to die... that would be too simple) so can be used as platform for his/her actions. The goal with this question is to make this character more "grounded", "relatable".

    Let me start with an example: The only thing that scares me the most is to found myself completely alone. Not having someone to rely on and share a bond (connection).

    Thank you.

    P.D: Yeah... that was too "emotional". You don't have to go that far XD.
    I agree with @NT the DC ‘s post above about looking more to the Enneagram.

    I’m and 8w9 and probably what I abstractly fear most is that feeling that someone is trying to control me. I really don’t like that.

    8w9 tends to be more diplomatic than 8w7 (who tend to be a bit more outwardly aggressive), but we both have power and control issues that we have to work through.

    In my own observations being around other Type 8s:

    8w7 tends to shoot first and ask questions later (they have more “fiery”, quick tempered personalities— so they’re typically more aggressive and well ... loud, so they’ll get in your face if they feel threatened.)

    8w9 tends to hear you out and ask questions ... and then probably shoot you. (we’re more diplomatic and laid-back, but when pushed, rather than yell, will shoot you a look that will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Icy cold, rather than fiery)

    8w7 is more stereotypically the guy who reacts quickly, publicly, and decisively to quell any uprising. (wants to be in control)

    8w9 is more stereotypically the ice princess who picks her moment and privately shivs you when you’re not expecting it. (doesn’t want to be controlled by others)

    Either way, we don’t like it when people try to control us. So our biggest fear would probably be that lack of control felt when someone tries to get the best of us.
    NT the DC and Windblownhair thanked this post.

  2. #4222

    Quote Originally Posted by Laurence View Post
    An ENTJ is supposedly the INTPs ideal match, and vice versa.

    But as an INTP, it has slowly become apparent that I have avoided ENTJs both casually and in looking for a romantic relationship.

    I sense that it is partly because I am afraid that it will fail. And because I would have a deeper, more meaningful relationship with them - it would be extra hurtful.

    Part of this fear is that I am not actually quite sure as to WHO ENTJs are. I haven't met enough to get to know them.

    My aunt is an ENTJ, she is very 'grande', but we have never managed to get close enough to get to experiment because I just seal up like a walnut when she's around.

    I also worked with an ENTJ and we did get to know each other a little, but not enough. He was not liked in the company we worked for. Probably because they were mostly 'S' types (who can be just downright awful). He claimed in front of everyone one day that in all his time here, I was his favourite. We had a very strong bond, but I felt like I was repressing myself. Maybe it was fear that I wouldn't be good enough.

    There was only one ENTJ in romantic relations. He was a Business student in a very prestigious business university. We had so much to talk about, but it was mostly intellectual, unlike my relationship with either of the other two ENTJs. I even sent him Snapchats of political theory books, which he loved. But ultimately with him, it was very clear that I was afraid that I was not going to be good enough. So I avoided him and he disappeared. Thinking about it now, if he was around again right now, I still wouldn't have the courage to overcome that fear of failure.

    What do I do?
    Something that might help you. ENTJs are super mush with our romantic partners with few expectations, as long as our partners meet our very few needs. We rarely ask for anything but when we do, we expect that because of our few demands, that our partners will meet them. IF you're the type of INTP that's resistant to any requests...because...your life, et al...even at the expense of your partner, then you're not likely compatible with ENTJs. But if you're the type of INTP who has a healthy grasp of Theory of Mind, then ENTJs might be a solid fit.

    My husband's a healthy INTP. We're hand in glove. My prior partner was an unhealthy INTP who turned out to be on the spectrum which we didn't know at the time but it helps to explain his 'extremely selfish' actions.

  3. #4223

    So I’m wondering if I am an ENTJ rather than an INTJ. It’s a recurring thought that has intensified over the past couple of years. I created a type me thread here. Should anyone be bored enough to care; ENTJ input would be valuable.

  4. #4224

    Quote Originally Posted by birdsintrees View Post
    So I’m wondering if I am an ENTJ rather than an INTJ. It’s a recurring thought that has intensified over the past couple of years. I created a type me thread here. Should anyone be bored enough to care; ENTJ input would be valuable.
    I would say ExTJ.
    However you do strike me as having a lot of "Sensor" traits.
    You claimed to dislike detail however you noted you're very organized and enjoy organizing; while being organized and being detail oriented are not exactly the same - they are related.
    Perhaps what you mean you dislike is focusing on unimportant minutia which has no logical context.
    Seems hard to be highly organized if you despise detail, it's at the very least task oriented.
    I would say given how you react to stress you're more Te, Te tends to be the type to focus on correcting their external environment in order to feel control. You said you speak and think at the same time which says you talk before you think to me lol.
    Also you noted things like enjoying raves in your youth, running, traveling, being a kinesthetic learner, practical, quick to take action, which are all very senor in nature.

    I'd lean towards ESTJ, but xxTJ are your strongest traits (Te).

  5. #4225

    Input appreciated but ESTJ is so far off the mark for me. Organised and detail oriented are not the same thing. I live with a Si dom and have several other people with strong Si around me - I’m not one of them.

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