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This is a discussion on Ask an ENTJ a question within the ENTJ Forum - The Executives forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; ...

  1. #4271

    Quote Originally Posted by cadet.jam View Post
    I'm 25 and at this age, I've been constantly evolving. I've been learning new things, seeing how some beliefs and old ways do not work to my advantage hence I am also testing new ways and principles.

    With this evolution is changed. I've changed to a person I no longer know. As I try to get to know her, she still constantly changes. I like the new me but also miss the old. I feel like I haven't been myself lately.

    There are still changes I want to go through so I can be optimal and achieving my goals. Now the forked road is across me. Should I go back to the old me, should I live with the present me, or do I continue changing cos definitely I am still not where I want to be.

    The major changes I have gone through are: Silence my kindness because I have to be smart (not kind in my dealings), be more selfish (this is how I can get what I want sometimes and I am inclined to allowing myself to lose for people I care about to win), should I keep feeling entitled because this is how I believe I deserve the things I would like to have?

    Anyway I could go on but I was just wondering if you could relate to what I said and what you did with this confusion. Thank you.
    Don’t think of them as changes; realize that they are choices. I love this quote from Maya Angelou:
    ”Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

    Trust your instincts. That little voice in the back of your head is trying to tell you something. Listen. If something isn’t working, figure out where your error in thinking was and correct your behavior.

    I tend to have a positive outlook, even in cases where others see hopelessness. I look at everything being a learning experience. No matter how bad the situation, you just learned something. That lesson will help you make better choices in the future. We all struggle with figuring out exactly what we believe in, what’s worth fighting for, and which behaviors we should change or let go of. It gets easier, because with that experience comes confidence in your choices. Don’t be afraid to make choices. Learn from them.


    Stand your ground when you know you are right.
    Ask questions when you are unsure.
    Apologize when you are wrong.
    (that’s a MsBoss[Jolly]Pants-ism)


    baby blue me thanked this post.

  2. #4272
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by Misstique View Post
    I'm 25 and at this age, I've been constantly evolving. I've been learning new things, seeing how some beliefs and old ways do not work to my advantage hence I am also testing new ways and principles.

    With this evolution is changed. I've changed to a person I no longer know. As I try to get to know her, she still constantly changes. I like the new me but also miss the old. I feel like I haven't been myself lately.

    There are still changes I want to go through so I can be optimal and achieving my goals. Now the forked road is across me. Should I go back to the old me, should I live with the present me, or do I continue changing cos definitely I am still not where I want to be.

    The major changes I have gone through are: Silence my kindness because I have to be smart (not kind in my dealings), be more selfish (this is how I can get what I want sometimes and I am inclined to allowing myself to lose for people I care about to win), should I keep feeling entitled because this is how I believe I deserve the things I would like to have?

    Anyway I could go on but I was just wondering if you could relate to what I said and what you did with this confusion. Thank you.
    The present you is you. It also doesn't have to be one way or the other. Just know when to assert your boundaries and know when to be kind. This will be tomorrow's you.

  3. #4273

    Would you describe yourself as a nerd?
    MsBossyPants thanked this post.

  4. #4274

    Quote Originally Posted by The Veteran View Post
    Would you describe yourself as a nerd?
    read my profile page

  5. #4275

    Quote Originally Posted by The Veteran View Post
    Would you describe yourself as a nerd?
    Nerds are usually classified as a socially awkward intellectual who lacks social skills.
    No.

  6. #4276
    ENTJ

    Quote Originally Posted by The Veteran View Post
    Would you describe yourself as a nerd?
    So the issue I see here is that there are multiple definitions.

    No, not in the sense that I'm a "socially awkward intellectual" which is the first definition and what NT the DC pointed out above but yes in the sense that I "have an obsessive interest in something [especially in technology or in a particular technical field]" which is the second definition.
    Last edited by Asd456; 02-13-2020 at 06:32 AM.
    MsBossyPants thanked this post.

  7. #4277
    INFJ

    1. Hypothetically, do y'all ever feel intimidated if your partner is more intelligent or knowledgeable than you?
    2. Outside of a romantic context, do y'all ever feel intimidated? When and why?

  8. #4278

    Quote Originally Posted by amc View Post
    1. Hypothetically, do y'all ever feel intimidated if your partner is more intelligent or knowledgeable than you?
    2. Outside of a romantic context, do y'all ever feel intimidated? When and why?
    I had an instance where the female I liked was just one step ahead of me in life.
    She was a year older and was initially more focused on what she was doing with her life.

    She went to school to become an attorney. A year or so later I left to become a Chiro.
    We reconnected afterwards and I thought perhaps we'd see if we clicked.

    When we met again...
    She still seemed further along in life than me at the time and I felt like in order for me to be an equal I needed to achieve more.
    I would say now we're close to the same in terms of our success and confidence in our fields.
    But as it turns out we now live in different cities and I have my gf.

    I would say part of the reason I was "intimidated" was not because I felt she was more intelligent, capable, or knowledgeable but because I wasn't where I wanted to be in life and I didn't want to be seen as struggling by her and I didn't want to feel that way about myself. I felt unworthy of pursing her at the time. This might have to do with being a type 3 enneagram though.

    It's kind of silly because when we first dated I was just a young college kid who lived with his mom and she never mentioned it was an issue. It was more my issue.

    I've met many brilliant people, some with photographic memories and some people that worked in military think tanks. I wouldn't say I was intimidated is the word. It's more about respecting that there are extremely smart people out there that you can learn from. I love meeting brilliant people so it's not like I'd shy away from them, I'd want to pick their brains.

  9. #4279
    ENTJ - The Executives

    Quote Originally Posted by amc View Post
    1. Hypothetically, do y'all ever feel intimidated if your partner is more intelligent or knowledgeable than you?
    2. Outside of a romantic context, do y'all ever feel intimidated? When and why?
    Short answer: No. At least not yet.
    Long Answer: For me intimidation is not about the capacity of what is in front of me, but rather it is about my own capacity.
    Hypothetically; I'd feel intimidated if I weren't attribute enough to do something.

    Here, <something> could be "achieving a healthy relationship" or "buying ice cream";
    And, <attribute> could be "knowledgeable" or "intelligent" etc

    And the answer is no because after a certain threshold most attributes lose value.

    If you want to buy a scoop of ice cream, 5 thousand dollars and 5 million dollars wont have much of a difference. Now if you want to buy a helipad, then there is a huge difference.

    For a romantic relationship, 140 and 210 IQ are practically very close to each other as they are both over the threshold. If I wanted to discuss quantum mathematics, then there would be a huge difference and I'd feel intimidated.

  10. #4280

    Quote Originally Posted by amc View Post
    1. Hypothetically, do y'all ever feel intimidated if your partner is more intelligent or knowledgeable than you?
    2. Outside of a romantic context, do y'all ever feel intimidated? When and why?
    I don’t feel intimidated around some who is more intelligent or knowledgeable. I want to learn from them. I see them as an asset. The more of what they know or have learned that they can impart to me, the better.

    The feeling of intimidation is rooted not in the measure of achievement of others, but rather in one's own self-doubt and lack of confidence in one’s OWN abilities. Everyone has a unique mixture strengths and weaknesses. The key is to measure your achievements against your own potential, not that of others, and believe in your ability to succeed.

    I love the last line of “Lose Yourself”. Short and to the point, and reveals his own self-confidence and refusal to be intimidated by anyone or anything:

    “You can do anything you set your mind to, man.” — Marshall Mathers (Eminem)

    Couldn’t agree more.


     
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