[ENTJ] Ever feel stupid after a social situation?

Ever feel stupid after a social situation?

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This is a discussion on Ever feel stupid after a social situation? within the ENTJ Forum - The Executives forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I have noticed that at times when I'm down internally/psychologically, after socializing I may feel stupid because I feel like ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    Ever feel stupid after a social situation?

    I have noticed that at times when I'm down internally/psychologically, after socializing I may feel stupid because I feel like I said something stupid or didn't say something that I should've. Then I feel even more down after.

    Does this happen to anyone else and if it does, how do you work with it? It's annoying and makes me feel dumb which I know I'm not.
    Another Lost Cause thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I've definitely been in that situation. I think very introverted people often find themselves in a situation where a lot of extroversion and quick talking is needed, and it's something they just fail at. Of course, being introverts, they go and mull the situation over and realize how badly they fucked it up and then start to feel like shit. Yes, can definitely relate to this. I've had job interviews where I was asked why I'd pause on a question. Some idiots out there just have no concept that some of us have a filter in place and that we need to think about our words before just spitting them out.

  3. #3
    Unknown

    It happened to me a lot. I'm slow at transforming thoughts in words and when someone talks with me it is kinda hard to not say some bullshit that doesn't make any sense.

  4. #4
    ENTJ - The Executives

    Usually something I did say, rather than shouldn't have. Especially when I realise after what I said was either communicated poorly and may have been interpreted differently. I do have a problem of knowing what I want or think, explain something to someone in the order and language I use in my head, but to others they'll be "wtf I have no idea", I usually explain from the end first, seeing the final idea. Some want to start from the beginning and then work to the end goal.

  5. #5
    Unknown

    Oh yes. Happens to me quite often and nearly always when I'm having a conversation with more stranger people than my family, or so.
    I keep saying something way not matching to my actual thoughts. Social sotuations are quite fast paced and I need the time to think what I say that I can say things more like I actually mean to.

  6. #6
    ENTJ - The Executives

    The only time I get truly awkward is usually when an emotional response is expected of me.

    Like if someone starts crying... I'll likely freeze and try to say something nice like, "Awww." Which in hindsight, seems condescending.

    Or if someone hugs me and says "Love you!" or "Miss you!" ... It will catch me off guard because I haven't had the time to assess if I return that sentiment. I don't want to say it if I'm insincere. But by the time I say it back, time as elapsed and it just becomes weird.

    Or if I kid gets hurt and comes to me expecting a some sympathy, I usually respond with, "Do you need a minute?"

    Ya, I'm not socially graceful on that parts.
    MsBossyPants, Demoiselle Dys and treschanna thanked this post.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by stiletto View Post
    The only time I get truly awkward is usually when an emotional response is expected of me.

    Like if someone starts crying... I'll likely freeze and try to say something nice like, "Awww." Which in hindsight, seems condescending.

    Or if someone hugs me and says "Love you!" or "Miss you!" ... It will catch me off guard because I haven't had the time to assess if I return that sentiment. I don't want to say it if I'm insincere. But by the time I say it back, time as elapsed and it just becomes weird.

    Or if I kid gets hurt and comes to me expecting a some sympathy, I usually respond with, "Do you need a minute?"

    Ya, I'm not socially graceful on that parts.
    Yes. All of these ^^^. Exactly like that.

    Sometimes, too, if I'm caught off guard. Like, at Thanksgiving, my sister-in-law's sister-in-law invited my husband and me to Christmas dinner at her place. It was a bit of a surprise considering she was asking us to spend the holiday with her family, and our connection is a bit casual and tenuous -my husband's brother's wife's brother's wife - (I'll give you a minute while you try to work that out )

    We really hit off and got along well, and it was a welcome gesture of a possible friendship to come, but it was unexpected and seemed a bit intimate, caught me off guard and left me stammering.
    stiletto thanked this post.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by stiletto View Post

    Or if someone hugs me and says "Love you!" or "Miss you!" ... It will catch me off guard because I haven't had the time to assess if I return that sentiment. I don't want to say it if I'm insincere. But by the time I say it back, time as elapsed and it just becomes weird.
    I know that feel. One of my best friends is an ENFJ 2. Needless to say, he loves to give hugs.

  9. #9
    Unknown Personality

    Yup. Quite often I'll make an off the cuff comment, and later think "Oops, I probably hurt someone's feelings with that".

    I was largely oblivious of this up until recently, when I started working with someone who has preferences for F. He's always pulling me up on being a "Callous prick" or similar, when in reality I'm anything but. I always assumed I was quite good with people, but recently have realised that I'm bloody terrible. Even when I think I'm taking due care not to offend, I somehow put my foot in it.

    Frustrating, because it all boils down to the fact that some people are too sensitive. But hey ho. I'm trying.

  10. #10
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Another Lost Cause View Post
    I've definitely been in that situation. I think very introverted people often find themselves in a situation where a lot of extroversion and quick talking is needed, and it's something they just fail at. Of course, being introverts, they go and mull the situation over and realize how badly they fucked it up and then start to feel like shit. Yes, can definitely relate to this. I've had job interviews where I was asked why I'd pause on a question. Some idiots out there just have no concept that some of us have a filter in place and that we need to think about our words before just spitting them out.
    Sometimes when people ask me a question, I think to myself:

    "Let me get back to you on that, because if I answer now it might not reflect my actual opinion accurately."
    stiletto thanked this post.


     

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