[ENTP] Emotional Evolution

Emotional Evolution

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  • 1 Post By Geonerd

This is a discussion on Emotional Evolution within the ENTP Forum- The Visionaries forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; ...

  1. #1

    Emotional Evolution

    As an ENTP, I struggle to understand my emotions and/or the event that triggered an emotional reaction. I realize that I am speaking about emotions like a trial lawyer referring to the pesky and alleged “incident” that got their client in trouble… but, I do not process information and events emotionally; I process it cerebrally. I like to flirt with emotions… as long as they belong to someone else… speaking of which, I can empathize and relate to other people’s emotions.

    When I was younger (in my early 20s), I thought there was something wrong with me because I did not really feel emotions like other women. I really did not feel emotions at all… my younger self would be like, “there is this odd sensation in my body… I wonder if the barometric pressure dropped? WAIT… that sensation is…. sadness… or resentment… or love…”. It would often take several days or even weeks to truly process my emotions. I could slap a label on the weird sensation observed in my body, but to truly examine its meaning took concerted effort.

    I have gotten much better at this because… well, I’m an ENTP, and frankly, I was curious about this phenomenon called “emotions.” While I am light years away from my initial emotional-adventuring self, I find it still takes time for me to process that aspect of myself. I also find it very uncomfortable and vulnerable to talk about my emotions with others.

    I’m curious if this sounds familiar to other ENTPs (or thinking types)? What has your journey looked like?

  2. #2

    Suppose what you're telling us is that you're waiting for someone to break through. If you're late 20's you should probably have had that happen by now.

    I can tell you that it took a certain amount of traumatizing events in my adult life to get the Fe to kick in.

    Don't wish that upon you, but that's what did it for me. Changed me quickly.

  3. #3
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    didn't mean to post here, I wrote in the wrong thread......but since i already made a comment I guess I'll said that i'm not sure i really relate. I definitely have always felt emotions and had Fe side ...I think the contrast w/ other people is more a matter of the things that trigger my emotions aren't always the same sort of things that trigger others rather than that i'm w/o emotions.

    Like I couldn't imagine being insulted by someone calling me a name, and I find any moo shy romantic shit corny as fuck and bizaro. But learning about childhood cancer or someone doing something very selflessly is def going to pull at my heartstrings.
    Last edited by desire machine; 04-23-2017 at 10:07 PM.

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  5. #4

    I know exactly what you mean. By the age of 16/17 I had no emotions. When somebody told me about emotions I thought about ones like anger, frustration or boredom. These were the emotions I knew and I didn't think there were more deeper emotions. At age 17 I began to try to understand others emotions by imitating their facial expressions. I watched a lot of films to get to know them. Prior I was like "Ah I don't need sadness, I'd only make me feel bad". Then I was like "If I couldn't feel sadness I'd probably feel really guilty of that". I can have really deep feelings but I am often not sure if they are real or imagination, if they are good or bad for me. I developed a really strong understanding of right and wrong, rationally and emotionally. It was giving the small feelings in me a speed-up so they pop out really hard (for ENTP-conditions) and make me recognize them like normal feelings, mixing them with my Ti and giving a good solution.
    Really, if you miss them just train them. Take the stock of yourself and see where your emotions are.

    It's like an inner dialogue, e.g. when my grandmother died:
    She is dead?
    what did you feel?
    What were you supposed to feel?
    sadness I guess.
    Was your grandmother a good human?
    yes, she did everything for me. She loved me really.
    Did you love her back?
    well I think so.
    Do you think she recognized it?
    I hope so. (At this point there may be some feelings like distress or uncertainty)
    Did she deserve to die?
    Hell no!
    If you could get her back, what yould you do?
    I would give her one big hug and tell her how much I love her.

    And at this point I felt really strong sadness. I hope you understand my example. This way I exercised my emotions processing past events and living through them again. It helped me a lot and made me feel a lot more.
    In times of stress my emotions just turn down and it somehow strains me not being able to process events emotionally. It makes me feel hollow. What do you think?

  6. #5
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    I understand what you are saying as an ENTP female. Part of the problem is that you are comparing yourself in the light of other (most likely xSFJ) women and the media's portrayal of women so it is easy to feel like you are wrong emotionally. One thing that @desire machine said, he being male, is given the attitude that a guy should tough it up and feelings are for girls so when he was actually feeling feelings, probably to the same degree as us ENTP girls, but in comparison to his xSTJ dad (I seem to remember you saying this) it seemed like he was very "feeling". When I actually started to assess who I was, I realized I had feelings (in the form of Fe) but just not like the stereotype all those xSFJ women. My caring was more pragmatic and logical but still there.

    I am bad somewhat at interpreting my feelings though. Sometime I do have to assess whether I am feeling anxious or sad or I'm just gassy. Because I am so logical and see shades of gray, I am not quick to anger or overly emotional about things. The people I know who have intense emotions tend to be Sensors Judgers. They notice the wrongs (or the rights) around them easily and have a black and white feeling about them. Go against them or tug on the heartstrings and they will feel it strongly. I also can logic away strong emotions when they come up. I might start to get mad but as I see the other side, it lessens my anger. As long as you eventually figure out your emotions when you need to address something, I do not think it is wrong that you are like this. The world is made up of many different people and I think the difference it what keeps it going. Trust me, being married to an ISTJ (or my ESFJ mom being married to an INTJ), you need the calm logical one to balance each other out.
    desire machine thanked this post.


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