I have some issues with my ENTP friend, and I thought maybe you guys could give me some insight.
ENTP's have Ti as their second (parent) function. I sometimes find this difficult to handle. It is as if Ti is never satisfied with anything I say. Nothing I say is ever good enough. My friend will either find a hole, or argue, or go on a completely different tangent, without giving my idea any attention. She didn't ask any questions. She didn't use her Ne to see the possibilities in what I am saying. She listens for a very short while, and then her Ti makes a conclusion or judgment, and she makes the conversation go into that direction.
For this reason, I rarely talk about my ideas, my conclusions, or my theories. I keep them to myself. INFPs often have really good ideas. But, due to her quick Ti conclusions, she ends up taking the topic in a different direction or an argumentative direction, and it gives me absolutely no satisfaction to bring them to her.
I have found that in general, she either likes to debate or "teach". As an INFP, my Te is too low, so I don't like debating. I am the kind of person who always realizes "afterwards" what great response I could have said. My functions just aren't suitable to debate.
So, I therefore let her "teach" me. I let her take the role of "teacher", and I take the role of "student". I don't bring topics that I know a lot about. Instead, I bring problems to her instead or topics I don't know much about. This way, she can "teach", and I can learn, and there is no conflict. She isn't forcing me to debate, and she isn't shutting down my ideas.
But, due to this dynamic, I basically let her be the "smart one". If she wants to be the smart one who has all the answers, then she can play that role. I am okay with playing the role of the less smart one who learns from her.
But, here is the problem. I don't believe that she is smarter than me. We are equal. I have a lot of wisdom and a lot of great ideas. There is a whole side of me that she doesn't see. INFPs also have the ability to see the big picture. I often see an even bigger picture than her. But, I can't share it.
I guess, sometimes I get sad and frustrated that I am stuck in the inferior, student role, when there is a whole side of me that is just as smart, just as knowledgeable, and just as wise as her, sometimes more.
And it feels like there is nothing I can do about this.
Part of me wishes that we could be equal. But in order for us to be equal, she would have to develop the kind of listening skills required to let me fully express myself, fully explain the big pictures ideas I have inside of me, without interrupting, without immediately seeing any holes in how I expressed myself, without automatically jumping to the other side of some random debate, and without immediately taking the conversation into a tangent idea of what I said.
We can't force people to change. Is my only option to keep playing the "student" role? I can't change that "Ti quick response" mode she has. That is part of who she is. It is what makes her really good at giving advice when I do have a problem.
I think ENTPs have really strong strengths. But, all of our strengths also go along with weaknesses. The decision I have to make is whether I decide to celebrate her strengths and accept her weaknesses, or whether I try to fight against her weaknesses. I have tried to fight against her weaknesses in the past, and it was never successful.
She has a real need to connect with people. She loves people.
Can ENTPs connect with people on an equal level? Or do they either form a debating type of friendship or a teaching type of friendship? If you do have equal friendships that aren't debating or teaching, which types of people do you usually do this with, and what does it look like?