[ENTP] Assuming: If you like the way I think, then you (probably) like me

Assuming: If you like the way I think, then you (probably) like me

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This is a discussion on Assuming: If you like the way I think, then you (probably) like me within the ENTP Forum- The Visionaries forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Generally, it seems to me that if you find interacting with me to be informative, entertaining, and/or interesting, then the ...

  1. #1

    Assuming: If you like the way I think, then you (probably) like me

    Generally, it seems to me that if you find interacting with me to be informative, entertaining, and/or interesting, then the chances are good that you like me; at least to some degree. Maybe not "friends" right away, but definitely moving in that direction.

    I recognize there are people out there who get paid to be civil and friendly (i.e. waitresses, bartenders, strippers, etc.) but I'm talking about those people who I "chat up" at random.
    Parrot, NineTypesOfLight and reptilian thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Quote Originally Posted by tanstaafl28 View Post
    Generally, it seems to me that if you find interacting with me to be informative, entertaining, and/or interesting, then the chances are good that you like me; at least to some degree. Maybe not "friends" right away, but definitely moving in that direction.

    I recognize there are people out there who get paid to be civil and friendly (i.e. waitresses, bartenders, strippers, etc.) but I'm talking about those people who I "chat up" at random.
    I don't know to differentiate between finding interacting with someone to be informative, entertaining and/or interesting, and liking that person to some degree and moving in the direction of "friends". What's the difference?

    Or did you mean to emphasize the words informative, entertaining and interesting? These are positive, invigorating adjectives. What one experiences as informative, entertaining and interesting, another person might feel is just annoying, and well, the one who sees you as being an annoying prick probably isn't interested in moving anywhere with you.

    But what about pleasant? If someone finds interacting with you to be pleasant instead of invigorating, would that mean they won't like you if they get to know you better?

    I don't know if I follow your point at all, but I think for me, if someone finds interaction with me to be informative, entertaining and interesting, that means I'm enjoying the interaction with them. I'm not sure which is the egg and which the chicken. If someone finds interaction with me to be only pleasant, that probably means the relationship will never deepen from that superficially pleasant level.

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by tanstaafl28 View Post
    Generally, it seems to me that if you find interacting with me to be informative, entertaining, and/or interesting, then the chances are good that you like me; at least to some degree. Maybe not "friends" right away, but definitely moving in that direction.

    I recognize there are people out there who get paid to be civil and friendly (i.e. waitresses, bartenders, strippers, etc.) but I'm talking about those people who I "chat up" at random.
    I agree with this assessment. When someone else shows positive acknowledgement of the way I think, I naturally hold them more favorable, in my view. For Te/Fe I would predict that agreeing/holding similiar views is more important. For Ti/Fi, I would predict that quality effort is more important. I don't have to agree with someone but if they respect my ability to think on my own terms, and I do theirs, then friends it is.
    tanstaafl28 thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Drunk Parrot View Post
    I agree with this assessment. When someone else shows positive acknowledgement of the way I think, I naturally hold them more favorable, in my view. For Te/Fe I would predict that agreeing/holding similiar views is more important. For Ti/Fi, I would predict that quality effort is more important. I don't have to agree with someone but if they respect my ability to think on my own terms, and I do theirs, then friends it is.
    Ah, I see. But how do you guys see this in people you chat up at random?

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Jamaia View Post
    Ah, I see. But how do you guys see this in people you chat up at random?
    Assuming you have basic people skills, you should be able to tell if someone is enjoying the conversation, on a basic friendly level (Can't advise on flirting). When I talk to people, I pay attention to see if they're interested in the conversation. I guess I study them, when initially interacting.

  7. #6

    Ok nevermind, this is too complicated for me.
    Parrot thanked this post.

  8. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Jamaia View Post
    Ok nevermind, this is too complicated for me.
    I never thought that I would see the day when an ENTP would bow-out just because something seemed complicated ;) LOL To be honest, it's obvious if someone "likes" you (or at the very least enjoyably tolerates you) if they continue to have a jovial conversation with you even if you have a social gaffe or two.

    I'll take a jab at the OPs underlying assumption- "If you like the way I think, then you (probably) like me."

    With their understanding- Generally, it seems to me that if you find interacting with me to be informative, entertaining, and/or interesting, then the chances are good that you like me; at least to some degree. Maybe not "friends" right away, but definitely moving in that direction. I recognize there are people out there who get paid to be civil and friendly (i.e. waitresses, bartenders, strippers, etc.) but I'm talking about those people who I "chat up" at random.

    ---Basic Answer
    It sounds like "way I think" is fairly synonymous with "personality." How we think is largely associated with our personality traits. So from a really crude analysis, yes. If you like they way a person thinks, then you probably will like them.

    ---TL;DR Answer
    Unfortunately, the definition of when someone "likes" someone else is going to vary greatly from individual to individual. And whether or not "likes" means "attracted to" or merely "enjoys being around," can be hard to discern. Even in your statement, "likes me" can be interpreted in many ways.

    Honestly, I think that it's something you need not concern yourself over.
    Like I said earlier, if they have all the hallmarks of enjoyment, smile, loose non-confrontational body language, laughter, eyes focused on you and not elsewhere, then it's pretty accurate guess that they "like" you. Even with people that are PAID to be nice to you, there's a subtle mountain of difference between paid "like" and unpaid "like." And that can take the form of trust, when such a person will confide something that could put them at risk. All of those things indicate that they "like the way you think," or that they "like your personality," and even if it's not lasting, it's still there.

    People might disagree, just because someone has all the earmarks of a positive social response doesn't necessarily MEAN that they "like" you. Well sure, there are always statistical anomalies! Though, if it walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and looks like a duck, it's quite likely a duck. It could be a REALLY good hologram, or you could be on some seriously impairing drugs, but generally speaking, the former is more likely.

    And if you really want to know for sure, test your theory ;) Go around and ask strangers in public what they thought after having an interaction with you. I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised with your results.

  9. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by Desthro View Post
    I never thought that I would see the day when an ENTP would bow-out just because something seemed complicated ;) LOL
    Welcome to the forum Desthro! You seem pleasant, let's be friends?

    To be honest I wrote a wall of text first, almost making it to the hologram-part like you did, until I decided this thread is obviously too complicated for me. At first I thought the point was "I like pleasant people and I often can tell if someone is pleasant", then I thought "oh maybe it's more complicated than that" and then again it seemed like no it was about "you know when someone does or does not want to talk to you" and now it's about holograms so I give up*.

    edit: *obviously I'm not really giving up, as this reply clearly illustrates.
    Desthro thanked this post.

  10. #9

    @Jamaia I have to admit, seeing your thought process outlined in detail like that was pretty great. I can't COUNT the number of times I've written a wall of nonsense and just deleted it cause I didn't want to be bothered with defending the position.

  11. #10

    @Desthro NONSENSE?

    I wish @tanstaafl28 would return already to clarify the point for me.
    Last edited by Jamaia; 02-18-2016 at 12:40 PM. Reason: aaaa


     
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