This is a discussion on A Self-Described ESFJ within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Originally Posted by The Darling I get attached to objects too if I've had them for a very long time, ...
I have time so I'll do my best describe myself. ;)
When I was younger I used to be WAY more emotional with very high highs and low lows...As I have gotten older and focused on myself there have become more high highs and when I get low it is waaaay not obvious... I've learned how to look happy when I'm really not and to keep my negative emotions [in general] to myself... although I have one friend who I will tell EVERYTHING to. He's always been there for me, and I've always been there for him so I will tell him everything... [he's the best friend anyone could have. =) ] He's ENTP in case one was wondering. ;)
Also when I was younger, I would get angry a lot more. Now other then my mom and my older brother very few can get under my skin. I guess I have a tendency of being more afraid of people then angry now adays...
My friends would describe me as a bubbly, outgoing, loyal, innocent, and a giving person. My enemies would describe me as obnoxious and "too giving" or creepy. I am often loved but if not loved I am usually hated, there are few people who view me in a "she's ok" way.
My strengths are that I will be there for you through everything. I will not leave you. If the world leaves you and you are alone, I will still be by your side. If you are sick [and I know you have nothing to eat, and you live close by] I will bring you soup and clean your apartment. If you have a bad day and you need someone to vent to, I will listen to you vent and then help you [if I can] with your situation. At work, my nickname is "Miss Smiley" customers and coworkers tell me that I "light up their lives with my smile," "that they feel blessed to have been able to talk to me." I will always do my best to leave you happier then when I saw you.
My weaknesses are: 1, I am terrible at foreseeing anything. So if you are working with me, I will not plan for problems... if you are my friend I will be shocked when I/you get into trouble, or when a guy shows interest in me it is always a surprise [even though that happens nearly every day. =/] 2, I can be annoying because I have a hard time knowing what people want. If you don't want me to talk to you but you're standing in front of me, if you don't tell me that you want alone time I will not recognize it, and I will still try to talk to you. 3, if you are living with me and don't want something cleaned, but I don't know it and it's in public space I will clean it... 4, I always see the good in people so if there is a "bad" person I will not notice it, and they will often ruin me and my friends lives... 5, I can become exhausted because I do SO much for myself and everyone else that is close to me... therefore I can become frustrated when more then one person wants something from me at the same time.
I am sure that there are others.... but they aren't coming to my mind now. =)
Yeah this is all true.
-I am a really poor time manager, it just flies by, I don't know what happens with it.
-I do get bored, there is boring stupid stuff in the world, but in general organizing and being tidy don't bore me. I could do the same thing every single day in arighting everything around the house (in fact, I do), and I am not bored by it the next day. It's hard for me to do my homework at night until everything is in its place. I will dump out my purse or book bag, grab spare change and put it in a spare change glass, throw out receipts, file new papers, add letters to a todo list pile, etc, and do it every single day. If I don't I fear I am missing something.
-I lose myself in making other people happy. 'Codependent,' although an unpleasant term and one I don't fully subscribe to as a 'real' thing, partially because it's so gendered, is a sort of psychological state I identify a lot with. When I initially begin dating someone, I can see their pros and cons, but once I get invested, I see barely any cons at all, only things that, if ONLY I were better at dealing with them, would not be problems.
-I struggle a lot when asked what it is that I want.. It's very hard for me to identify what I want that is totally separate from what other people want. People who I care about matter so much to me that I will say to myself "Working so hard on this task that doesn't inherently please me, in order to make them happy, is something that I truly want." And many times, I'm right. But sometimes, I'm not, and I've gone too far, and I'm doing it for some level of approval-seeking that goes beyond what the core of me really wants or needs from other people. Identifying that line is hard.
-I abhor conflict.
-I feel really guilty about the fact that I really want people to tell me their secrets and bare their emotions to me, but because I'm open with mine, I tend to be default setting ready to share their thoughts too, so I don't keep secrets as well as someone who wants to be everyones counselor should. But when it's really, really important, I have succeeded to keep things secret. I also need to be told something is a secret explicitly or I assume it's for the sharing.
-I am always interested in learning new things, but I don't especially crave outlets to share my own creative expressions or new inventive ideas. I'm more of a critic than a creator. I am fascinated by things like behavioral economics and theoretical problems in my profession, law, and I test very well on aptitude measures, but... I conceive of myself as smart enough to appreciate good ideas and to recognize just how original they are, but not smart enough to make too many of my own.
I don't want to be in charge of any innovative projects or countries or any other organizations that need dynamic, confident, visionary leadership, but I would be a competent and successful manager of most smaller levels of human organizations.
-I appreciate that its outdated and that there are many arguments against it, and I dont want it to happen right away, but one of the few things I can say with firmness I want, a real goal (as I'm not exactly sure what I want out of a career, and dont have any passions that I care about being a top achiever in), is that I want to enter into a committed lifelong relationship with someone.
-I'm not too boring or stodgy, I think, and I always want to do new things, but in a way slightly inflected with my organized, can-do, accomplisher personality. Like when I went paragliding I very much thought of it like "Good job! One off the bucket list! You really challenged your comfort zones!" I poke at the edges of my comfort areas, but always with planning and sort of a girl scout always be prepared attitude. I try to do a new event around the city every week, and every time, I conceptualize it as a pleasure, but also an exercise in trying something new.. I guess I mean to say that I am a todo list person, and not getting stuck in boring patterns is just what exists on my todo list. And.. I think I do it half for myself, and half so that I can be an entertaining person who people are attracted to and want to be around.
-I can get into silly moods and make incisive, witty remarks. Certain people (ENTP buddy banter time) draw this out of me, as do really close friends. I can get a twinkle in my eye.
-One million friends say: "You don't know how to not flirt." Many people ask me out, thinking they've picked up some sort of low level attraction coming from me, with the warm interest I express, but I'm just being my normal self..