[ESFJ] A Self-Described ESFJ

A Self-Described ESFJ

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This is a discussion on A Self-Described ESFJ within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; How would you, an ESFJ, describe yourself? As you are and as you want to be? I'm trying to learn ...

  1. #1
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    A Self-Described ESFJ

    How would you, an ESFJ, describe yourself? As you are and as you want to be?
    I'm trying to learn more about the other types.

    Thanks
    DevilishlyAngelic and Julia Bell thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    I really don't know much about my type I just read through all sixteen and found myself to relate more with ESFJ's. And then I took a personality test and found I was still a ESFJ. I won't to explain but I suck at talking about myself, I end up just rambling. But to start, I am extremely sensitive especially with people I love and respect. Because their opinions about me seem to matter more than anything. When I find that someone doesn't like me it gets under my skin because I don't understand what I did wrong and I tend to want to fix it. I can be a bit irrational at times and very dramatic when I'm upset or angry. But as time passes I get over it and realize just how irrational I was being and I apologize to whoever I was arguing with. I'm extremely territorial over the people I love, my belongings, and my personal space.

    If anyone hurts something that I feel belongs to me or is apart of my life I instantly become protective and I get all momma bear on that person or situation. I try to help my friends, family, or even people I barely know because I hate to see someone sad, or feeling helpless. I support my friends and family in what they do even if I don't agree with their decisions. Which is hard for me to do because I like to control my environment and sometimes the people in it although I know I can't do that.

    I'm a constant talker, and there are no boundaries with me when it comes to topics. I'll talk about anything as long as the other person is comfortable with it. I rarely know when to shut up and I'll talk and talk and talk until I realize my lungs are screaming for air. I surround myself with people who aren't much like me I noticed, like most of my friends aren't as talkative as I am and aren't emotionally vocal.

    I tend to get emotionally attached to people that I don't know that well. And I really don't know where that comes from. It's just that when I meet someone I instantly try to get to know them and sense if they're a good person or bad person(I tend to be a bit judgmental at in the first impressions). My friends and family are everything to me and I'll do anything for them even putting their needs before mine. Which I tend to do a lot and I am forced into reminding myself that I should put myself first sometimes.
    I just got tired of writing about myself....

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by The Darling View Post
    I really don't know much about my type I just read through all sixteen and found myself to relate more with ESFJ's. And then I took a personality test and found I was still a ESFJ. I won't to explain but I suck at talking about myself, I end up just rambling. But to start, I am extremely sensitive especially with people I love and respect. Because their opinions about me seem to matter more than anything. When I find that someone doesn't like me it gets under my skin because I don't understand what I did wrong and I tend to want to fix it. I can be a bit irrational at times and very dramatic when I'm upset or angry. But as time passes I get over it and realize just how irrational I was being and I apologize to whoever I was arguing with. I'm extremely territorial over the people I love, my belongings, and my personal space.

    If anyone hurts something that I feel belongs to me or is apart of my life I instantly become protective and I get all momma bear on that person or situation. I try to help my friends, family, or even people I barely know because I hate to see someone sad, or feeling helpless. I support my friends and family in what they do even if I don't agree with their decisions. Which is hard for me to do because I like to control my environment and sometimes the people in it although I know I can't do that.

    I'm a constant talker, and there are no boundaries with me when it comes to topics. I'll talk about anything as long as the other person is comfortable with it. I rarely know when to shut up and I'll talk and talk and talk until I realize my lungs are screaming for air. I surround myself with people who aren't much like me I noticed, like most of my friends aren't as talkative as I am and aren't emotionally vocal.

    I tend to get emotionally attached to people that I don't know that well. And I really don't know where that comes from. It's just that when I meet someone I instantly try to get to know them and sense if they're a good person or bad person(I tend to be a bit judgmental at in the first impressions). My friends and family are everything to me and I'll do anything for them even putting their needs before mine. Which I tend to do a lot and I am forced into reminding myself that I should put myself first sometimes.
    I just got tired of writing about myself....
    What about your less appealing characteristics???
    Poetic_Anarchy thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    Agh, THOSE. I was in a 'happy' mood last night so I guess I didn't want to dwell on them. I can be angry just as much as I am a happy person. If someone I idolized or loved and I get into a conflict, which they or I have started I end up feeling bad about myself beliving I was an idiot to place them so high on a pedestal to think they wouldn't fall. Or maybe I'm a horrible person for starting the conflict. I tend to be....yeaaah I'm not feeling very paragraph-y right now. Especially in talking about my faults which I think can be understandable.

    -I get jealous if one of my friends or family begins to talk to 'outiside' people rather then me
    - I tend to be up and down with my emotions I can be happy, angry, or sad in a moments notice
    - I talk too much about shit that doesn't matter and sometimes get annoyed when people don't see that I'm the one who is "right". Although I have been getting better with this over the years because I can't always be right and other people have different beliefs and views than I do

    -__- I'm on my phone and I'm having trouble. I'll have to edit and whatnot once I get to a computer. So sorry if it's all over the place.
    RAZ333, Owfin, metalme and 1 others thanked this post.

  6. #5
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    Quote Originally Posted by The Darling View Post

    I tend to get emotionally attached to people that I don't know that well. And I really don't know where that comes from.
    Yea I never understood that. If I get a momentary glimpse of someone interesting they can make a weird impression on me. I finally saw this puzzling yet personal tendency come to light in written form when I was reading Yukio Mishima's Confessions of A Mask, in which he describes some weird emotional attachments he's had to things throughout his life. It was like reading my own thoughts.
    Poetic_Anarchy and DevilishlyAngelic thanked this post.

  7. #6
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    Quote Originally Posted by The Darling View Post
    I really don't know much about my type I just read through all sixteen and found myself to relate more with ESFJ's. And then I took a personality test and found I was still a ESFJ. I won't to explain but I suck at talking about myself, I end up just rambling. But to start, I am extremely sensitive especially with people I love and respect. Because their opinions about me seem to matter more than anything. When I find that someone doesn't like me it gets under my skin because I don't understand what I did wrong and I tend to want to fix it. I can be a bit irrational at times and very dramatic when I'm upset or angry. But as time passes I get over it and realize just how irrational I was being and I apologize to whoever I was arguing with. I'm extremely territorial over the people I love, my belongings, and my personal space.

    If anyone hurts something that I feel belongs to me or is apart of my life I instantly become protective and I get all momma bear on that person or situation. I try to help my friends, family, or even people I barely know because I hate to see someone sad, or feeling helpless. I support my friends and family in what they do even if I don't agree with their decisions. Which is hard for me to do because I like to control my environment and sometimes the people in it although I know I can't do that.

    I'm a constant talker, and there are no boundaries with me when it comes to topics. I'll talk about anything as long as the other person is comfortable with it. I rarely know when to shut up and I'll talk and talk and talk until I realize my lungs are screaming for air. I surround myself with people who aren't much like me I noticed, like most of my friends aren't as talkative as I am and aren't emotionally vocal.

    I tend to get emotionally attached to people that I don't know that well. And I really don't know where that comes from. It's just that when I meet someone I instantly try to get to know them and sense if they're a good person or bad person(I tend to be a bit judgmental at in the first impressions). My friends and family are everything to me and I'll do anything for them even putting their needs before mine. Which I tend to do a lot and I am forced into reminding myself that I should put myself first sometimes.
    I just got tired of writing about myself....
    I agreed with every single thing you wrote, even the weird things you described that you couldn't explain yourself. I agree with it all. O_O Especially the part about judging whether people are good or bad people. I think I usually have terrible intuition about most things in life (I can't make decisions to save my life), yet when it comes to people, I have this gut feeling about whether they're a good, trustworthy person or not when I meet them and then I treat them accordingly. My gut feeling is rarely wrong. I ignored it once and that was the one and only time I got stabbed in the back by someone I thought was a friend.

    Even the things you listed in a later post as bad qualities are things I know about myself too. I'm very possessive about my friends and family. I definitely have a jealous streak that's been a problem in my relationship lately. :-/ I can also be pretty stubborn, and I often have incredible waves of loneliness when I feel like I have no one around to listen to my problems. I'm a perfectionist and a control freak too.

  8. #7
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by lenabelle View Post
    ...and I often have incredible waves of loneliness when I feel like I have no one around to listen to my problems.
    Do you need to verbalize your problems to sort through them? What if you write a blog/journal for example...
    Poetic_Anarchy thanked this post.

  9. #8
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    Quote Originally Posted by metalme View Post
    Do you need to verbalize your problems to sort through them? What if you write a blog/journal for example...
    Yupp, I actually do keep blogs and journals. I've kept a journal since I was 6, and I have several blogs. All of that really helps when I just need to say something but there's no one around to say it to.
    Ellis Bell, Poetic_Anarchy and metalme thanked this post.

  10. #9
    INFP - The Idealists

    @rd93 I never heard of that book before, I might have to check it out I'm glad you mentioned it. And it isn't just with people that I get emotionally attached to. I'm also really sentimental. If I do something with someone I will automatically think of that person the next time I do that activity. I get attached to objects too if I've had them for a very long time, it'll be very hard for me to let them go without thinking I lost a part of myself. Weird, I know.
    @lenabelle Agh, my emotions run everything that I do. I wish that I could look at things from a detached standpoint and just solve it rationally without immediately consulting my damn heart. I'm glad that I could relate to someone with that post! :)
    Last edited by DevilishlyAngelic; 09-09-2012 at 04:42 PM.
    Poetic_Anarchy and Little Cloud thanked this post.

  11. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    I double posted and now I can't delete it ;\
    Poetic_Anarchy thanked this post.


     
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