ESFJ relathionship

ESFJ relathionship

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This is a discussion on ESFJ relathionship within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; For ESFJ especially male ESFJ could you tell me which qualities do you want in your partner and which you ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    ESFJ relathionship

    For ESFJ especially male ESFJ could you tell me which qualities do you want in your partner and which you can't stand?

    and when you are once hurt by your partner or if you lose trust in that person can you forget it? and do you usually lye a lot? somewhere at age of 17-23 when you where let say unmature?hhh or you start to lye when you where hurt and etc..xD

    answer for both but if you can just tell me was that a long or short relathinship ;)
    Grey thanked this post.



  2. #2
    Unknown Personality


    Hello Darling .. My 2 cents being a female, hope it helps.

    Quote Originally Posted by Daisy View Post
    For ESFJ especially male ESFJ could you tell me which qualities do you want in your partner and which you can't stand?
    Do's-

    Be kind, considerate and truthful
    Take the initiative and do something special for me (not all the time though)
    If i don't understand what your saying, please take the time to reword it
    Say what you mean and mean what you say
    Please don't criticize me but if you feel you have to, then make it constructive and not just a poke at my character

    Don't-

    Cheat
    Lie and get caught out
    Never, never, never .. Close windows on the computer because i have just walked into the room .. At that point, what do you not want me to see (not that i am going to be reading your posts/messages etc)

    I use another forum and thought this might be appropriate so i have cut and pasted it here for you.

    Make sure you tell them how much you appreciate their help and do something out of the blue for them. Since many of them love to help others, I think they secretly love it when others consider them or help them for a change.

    (Shhhhh, i would never admit it openly (although i am doing so now, lol) but to think that i am appreciated by someone through actions and not just words, is a pretty awesome feeling)


    and when you are once hurt by your partner or if you lose trust in that person can you forget it? and do you usually lye a lot? somewhere at age of 17-23 when you where let say unmature?hhh or you start to lye when you where hurt and etc..xD
    I never got over the mistrust immediately but i was fortunate enough to be able to get away from the situation .. Trust is a big issue for me with anyone so i will forgive your actions (better than building up resent and hatred) but i will openly verbalize my thoughts if i need some reassurance or am worried.

    Lying .. No, i like transparency .. Now don't get me wrong, everyone lies. I'll say i'm OK when it is evidently obvious i am in a shitty mood (usually work related) but i do that because i don't want to relive my awful day again. Other than that though, i hate lying to people because then i have to be aware and even one step ahead of my deceit. To much hassle in the long run.

    In my younger days, well i was a mother at a very young age so i had to mature quickly ..I was more used to lying to myself about my relationships hoping something would change .. To me lying is like playing games, and i don't like playing games. Unless it involves FUN ;)

    answer for both but if you can just tell me was that a long or short relathinship ;)
    I have only had 2 long term relationships.

    Hope i have been of some help
    Last edited by saslou; 01-31-2010 at 08:39 AM.

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality

    Thanks a lot..it's really helpful ;)
    i hope someone else would answer it too ;)
    Grey thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    I pretty much agree what saslou is saying ^_^

    Quote Originally Posted by Daisy View Post
    For ESFJ especially male ESFJ could you tell me which qualities do you want in your partner and which you can't stand?

    and when you are once hurt by your partner or if you lose trust in that person can you forget it? and do you usually lye a lot? somewhere at age of 17-23 when you where let say unmature?hhh or you start to lye when you where hurt and etc..xD

    answer for both but if you can just tell me was that a long or short relathinship ;)



    Qualities I like

    Someone who is a respectful towards me
    Who includes me in their life (helping them with scheduling or keeping track of time is a plus)
    Who knows how reassure everything is alright everytime we have a disagreement
    Who is punctual and responsible, they also take responsibility
    Who can listens (very important)
    Who doesn't give a solution right away, they ask if I want it.
    Someone who isn't afraid to ask for something
    Someone who is confident of our relationship and why they are with me.
    Willing to take the time to help me comprehend what they are saying.
    Who makes me feel special by calling me nick names he doesn't use on other people, share inside jokes, and just compliiment me in way where I know he is talking to me and no other girls.


    Qualities I don't like
    Words not matching actions
    Treats others poorly (especially girls)
    Lying about self and friends
    Has a cheating history and is likely to cheat
    Someone who tries to restrict and control me when it comes to my social life
    Someone who talks badly behind my back
    Someone who isn't willing to adjust to my way of living.
    Those who keep moments of their past girlfriends after a certain point
    Question me if i'm sincere of
    Thinks i will act a certain way if they tell me bad news
    Skew the truth to make themselves look good
    Tells me one thing and tells everyone else another about me.

    and when you are once hurt by your partner or if you lose trust in that person can you forget it? and do you usually lye a lot? somewhere at age of 17-23 when you where let say unmature?hhh or you start to lye when you where hurt and etc..xD
    Trust and Respect are two important things to me. It will take a long time for me to forgive the person (I mean truely forgive them) but if they are dedicated then I will put trust in them slowly. There might be times when i'm a bit moody and cause problems on purpose x_x I do kinda forget but unfortunately but I get flash backs when something triggers a familiarization of the incident x-X When I was 17-23 (im 24 now :D) I would say that I was very naive =/ and gullible. Ignorance is something miss greatly >_>.

    I dislike to lie, kinda makes me feel dirty inside you know?I would want someone to be put it to me straight so I would do the same thing to others. If I catch someone in a lie, they automatically lose my respect and trust or them. I do tend to do little continuous little lies when i'm stressed or upset.

    answer for both but if you can just tell me was that a long or short relathinship ;)
    My first serious relationship was about 2 years, my second was about almost a year, and the third was going on 2 years and 5 months so I guess almost 2 1/2 years.
    Last edited by Blissfulwish; 02-01-2010 at 09:44 AM. Reason: Reworded a sentence :D
    Daisy, Grey and saslou thanked this post.

  6. #5
    Unknown Personality

    Thank you for answering, it really helps..
    and one qouestion...

    you said you dislike when someone isn't possesive or you spell it wrong? xD really important
    to tell me that hah..

    I were like, telling him too much of how i feel about him, and i was qouestioning him all the time because he start to lye to me..is that annoys you? xD do you hate when someone is like too emotional?
    Grey and Inspire thanked this post.


     

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