[ESFJ] Confessions of an ESFJ

Confessions of an ESFJ

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This is a discussion on Confessions of an ESFJ within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Ok, so I thought I'd give this a bash. After having a wander through the ENTP section I noticed their ...

  1. #1

    Confessions of an ESFJ

    Ok, so I thought I'd give this a bash.

    After having a wander through the ENTP section I noticed their (sticky) "confession thread", which they themselves got the idea for in the INTP section. A good one to read through for both humour and, sometimes, some insight. Our ESFJ section is a bit low on sticky threads, and this seems like a bit of a laugh if nothing else. So go on, post your confessions.

    Since I've started I'll go first... bit of a pathetic one this I admit to start with:

    I'm usually one of the first people in the office in the morning and I'll usually race to be first to the coffee machine to get a brew going. My colleagues think I'm being decent and helpful for doing this. Reality, I secretly think they are rubbish at measuring out the correct amount of coffee, and I want to ensure I enjoy my morning coffee at the strength I like it .
    burningsoul, NeonMidget and SummerRoads thanked this post.



  2. #2

    A friend of mine was telling me about a book her therapist gave her relating to self-esteem. Apparently the book said to talk to yourself the way you'd talk to a friend. She gave the example that you wouldn't tell your friend she looks like a fat cow in that outfit, so why would you say that to yourself? All I could think is, "yes, you'd never say that, but what if you'd be thinking it?"

    OK, maybe that snobby cheerleader thing isn't just a stereotype!

  3. #3

    I secretly don't like hosting people or throwing kid's birthday parties at our house. I put way too much pressure on myself for the house to look perfect and have the food be something everyone likes plus having to get all 3 little kids dressed decently and myself and then be like the fun hostess. It's just a lot. Then the whole time I'm also thinking about if everyone's enjoying themselves or what can make people more comfortable etc. Just a lot of work and then the house is a wreck afterwards...even though I feel I've been cleaning after people all day. I much rather have friends who are super outgoing and love to host and then go to their events. Lol! Way less pressure and more fun!

    (I also don't like picking out the background music because I don't know what type of music everyone likes... I totally overthink it. lol! I'm sure no one would ever know that from the outside)
    Last edited by SummerRoads; 05-18-2018 at 04:51 PM.
    Happy29, orion83uk and contradictionary thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by SummerRoads View Post
    I secretly don't like hosting people or throwing kid's birthday parties at our house. I put way too much pressure on myself for the house to look perfect and have the food be something everyone likes plus having to get all 3 little kids dressed decently and myself and then be like the fun hostess. It's just a lot. Then the whole time I'm also thinking about if everyone's enjoying themselves or what can make people more comfortable etc. Just a lot of work and then the house is a wreck afterwards...even though I feel I've been cleaning after people all day. I much rather have friends who are super outgoing and love to host and then go to their events. Lol! Way less pressure and more fun!

    (I also don't like picking out the background music because I don't know what type of music everyone likes... I totally overthink it. lol! I'm sure no one would ever know that from the outside)
    Aww - I hear you on the making things perfect piece - I actually like it, but I always worry so much before I have a party that I make everyone around me nuts! Once it starts, I'm ok, but getting there...ay yi yi!
    orion83uk thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Another confession. I worried for several hours after initially posting this thread thinking it might to go down like a lead balloon with potential disapproval from my fellow ESFJs of my slightly selfish coffee making antics ha-ha.

    Is it possible to request that a thread be made sticky?
    SummerRoads thanked this post.

  7. #6

    Haha, @orion83uk that totally made me laugh (in a good way)! So relatable. :) Thanks for creating this post. And yes, with how sloooowww things move here it's hard to get that instant feedback. I hear you.

    @Happy29 , Yes! So much that! I do have fun during and later on am glad I did it, it's just the before that gets insane (and well the during can be a pretty crazy with little kids too). I have to wonder if someday when my kids are older if the hosting part will be more fun. Right now it seems way more stress than it's worth when I can still have a great time (better time) at other people's events.

    Thanks for the fun read! Nice to see a few ESFJs out here!
    orion83uk thanked this post.

  8. #7

    I'm lonely. I don't have any friends, even though I always try really hard to make friends. I feel like no one cares about me, and I don't know why.

  9. #8

    @The Penguin , hugs to you!! I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Do you want to talk about it (maybe in a new thread)? I'm sure you'd find some listening ears here and people who do care. Hoping things get better for you!
    Dr Robotnik and orion83uk thanked this post.

  10. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by SummerRoads View Post
    @The Penguin , hugs to you!! I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Do you want to talk about it (maybe in a new thread)? I'm sure you'd find some listening ears here and people who do care. Hoping things get better for you!
    Thank you. I have tried a few times, talking about it in my own threads, with a few different situations. People usually want a lot of personal details, so they can "help" but I'm not comfortable giving those details online to total strangers.

    I'm loving, giving, helpful, nice, sweet, caring, personal, maybe a little too moody for my own good. I'm just hoping that it gets better someday. It's just hard for me to trust people because when I try, I feel like they just push me away.

  11. #10
    Unknown

    Do you have some kind of trust issues, (or anxieties) or just you have experienced people pushing you away, because of your moodiness ? If your moodiness looks similar to that, when you turn into ESTP 8w7 on this forum, I could see why ...
    Last edited by Elwinz; 05-27-2018 at 12:22 PM.
    Jawz, Tyche and orion83uk thanked this post.


     
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