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This is a discussion on Ask an ESFJ a question within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Originally Posted by Hicks Why is the sky blue ??? Because, science. Nice to see an ESFP on here! :)...

  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by Hicks View Post
    Why is the sky blue ???
    Because, science.


    Nice to see an ESFP on here! :)
    orion83uk and HIX thanked this post.

  2. #12

    What does your ideal day look like?

    What things in relationships make you the most happy?

  3. #13

    Quote Originally Posted by providence View Post
    What does your ideal day look like?
    Wake up around 7am, have breakfast with my family, drop kids off at school, go to yoga, get some tea / coffee with a friend and catch up, run errands / be productive getting things done, get kids from school and chat with them about their day, cook dinner with my husband and eat as a family, put kids to bed and spend the rest of the night watching a show with my husband or meeting up with some of my girlfriends at their house. So I guess, a pretty typical day where everything runs smoothly. (Yes, of course I also would like days with more adventure built into them but if I'm honest with myself, I like those to be reserved to vacation or a certain duration before returning to normal life)


    Quote Originally Posted by providence View Post
    What things in relationships make you the most happy?
    Feeling like I'm in a committed and stable relationship where we both are doing our part working towards a common goal / values. I feel happy when the work I do at home or for our family is recognized (with words) and when my husband gives me undivided attention to hear my stories no matter how trivial they may be (obviously for my INTP husband this is a limited amount of time... but during that time I feel like he's truly listening and giving me his all). I feel happy when we're on the same page with life values and how we raise our kids and what's important to us as a family and when we work as a team towards those goals.
    providence thanked this post.

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  5. #14
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    So is it all really about "all the small details" such as my ESFJ's tell me on a daily?

    Who notices all these "small details"?

  6. #15

    Quote Originally Posted by FueledByEvil View Post
    So is it all really about "all the small details" such as my ESFJ's tell me on a daily?

    Who notices all these "small details"?
    For one, we notice. Haha! But that aside, yes I do think it's important to us. I think it is what makes our world a kinder place. It's one way to show you care about people by doing small things for them. It's like life drums on at a basic level of busyness and anonymity but when somebody else on their own accord does some small act of kindness or remembers a small detail about you, it can really turn someone's day for the better. I think it makes people feel like they matter and are noticed and not just swimming in a sea of people and work and jobs and busy life, you know? Like it brings a little humanity back.

    For instance, this week I noticed it was one of my kids' teachers birthday (via Facebook) and wished her a happy birthday that morning and my daughter decided on her own accord she wanted to make her a card. The teacher was really surprised and touched to read it and that someone would remember. I also wrote a friend (outer circles / acquaintance) of mine in town who is nearing the end of her pregnancy and told her I know how crazy it is at the end to find care for your other kids while you go into labor and I could definitely watch hers for her if she wants (our kids are in the same class etc). She was so relieved because she has no family in town and didn't know what else she would do. She never asked me or hinted on it but I just knew this would be a nice thing to help someone out. Or the other day in passing I told someone I know that I read his article he wrote for the student paper and thought it was wonderful and his face lit up and he was excited it reached other people and meant something to them. Just a few examples, but you get the point.

    I think we ESFJs know that other people don't really do these little things a lot or really care to do them, but I guess it's something we feel we can give to the world to meet people's needs before maybe they even know they have one. A simple "thank you" or a sign of appreciation can really make someone's day and it's not that hard to do and pay attention to the people around you. (Secretly or not so secretly if you're married to an ESFJ, we hope that the people who love us will return the same kindness to us. We do a lot for the people we love in our families, so many little things every day noticed and unnoticed, so I guess we just "hope" that they will sometimes return the same thoughtfulness to us even though we understand that others aren't necessarily as good at it is as we are... it's the thought, no wait, the effort that counts)
    Last edited by SummerRoads; 04-03-2019 at 03:03 PM.
    Suntide thanked this post.

  7. #16
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by SummerRoads View Post
    For one, we notice. Haha! But that aside, yes I do think it's important to us. I think it is what makes our world a kinder place. It's one way to show you care about people by doing small things for them. It's like life drums on at a basic level of busyness and anonymity but when somebody else on their own accord does some small act of kindness or remembers a small detail about you, it can really turn someone's day for the better. I think it makes people feel like they matter and are noticed and not just swimming in a sea of people and work and jobs and busy life, you know? Like it brings a little humanity back.
    I know ESFJ notice. I am reminded all the time or is that reprimanded every time...hmhmm
    Well you get the idea.


    Quote Originally Posted by SummerRoads View Post
    I think we ESFJs know that other people don't really do these little things a lot or really care to do them, but I guess it's something we feel we can give to the world to meet people's needs before maybe they even know they have one. A simple "thank you" or a sign of appreciation can really make someone's day and it's not that hard to do and pay attention to the people around you. (Secretly or not so secretly if you're married to an ESFJ, we hope that the people who love us will return the same kindness to us. We do a lot for the people we love in our families, so many little things every day noticed and unnoticed, so I guess we just "hope" that they will sometimes return the same thoughtfulness to us even though we understand that others aren't necessarily as good at it is as we are... it's the thought, no wait, the effort that counts)
    I do not believe to be true that there is such a thing as a selfless individual.
    (not implying that is where you are going with that)
    Yet I will say that the ESFJ I have been privy to are certainly the leaders in
    selfless actions.

    So there is a theory in psychology that no act is selfless.
    They seem to be on the fence about it. The rational being that
    when one does selfless actions it is for a reason that secures an
    outcome of their preference so indeed the action be it skewed in
    perception as to a benefit in physical items to one is in actuality
    a way to secure a feeling that is desired by completing the apparent
    selfless act.

    I tend to vear from that a bit and assume that some actions. Especially
    when massively detrimental to an individual yet extremely beneficial for
    another can indeed be selfless yet I do not think that to be a good thing
    a lot of the times. Depends on the motive I suppose.

    Ahhh im getting rambley.

    Appreciate the banter. Ignore my ramblings they probably dont make
    common sense anyhow.

  8. #17

    Quote Originally Posted by providence View Post
    What does your ideal day look like?

    What things in relationships make you the most happy?
    My ideal day:
    A day out with friends exploring something, somewhere that I've never been, followed by going out for dinner in the evening, and winding down with a few drinks and banter in the evening.

    My actual day:
    Get up at half 5, get ready for work and feed the cat, drive to work, work, drive home from work, prepare dinner for me and my ISTJ partner, followed by either slouching in front of the TV or the laptop, then bed... repeat 4 more times to the weekend. Sometimes I spice things up by going to the gym before work.

    Its honestly not as bad as it sounds though, I enjoy my work and the drive... but not the gym (Gym is boring, but an unfortunate necessity).


    What things in relationships make you the most happy:
    Having common interests and someone to support you (or to support back) when times are tough.

  9. #18

    Quote Originally Posted by Hicks View Post
    Why is the sky blue ???
    Some say its because God is a big fan of the colour blue.

    Others say it's because blue light is scattered in all directions by the tiny molecules of air in the Earth's atmosphere, and since blue is scattered more than other colors, because it travels as shorter, smaller waves, it results in the sky appearing the colour blue to us most of the time (or at least when the sun is up).

    Here in Scotland however, we say that the rest of the world is weird because as far as we're concerned the sky is a grey-ish white colour.

  10. #19

    so, a lot of people online say I'm ESFJ

    here are my doubts about that

    I don't really have friends, I don't know why but I can't seem to really get along with most people, I don't really know how to read other people's emotions or needs, or how I come across - seems like ESFJs would be better with all of this. I can see a lot of similarities between myself and many of the types. The odd thing is, I don't really see myself in the SPs or NJs . . . even though some keep pointing me to some kind of SP.

    I'm looking to see if any ESFJ relates to this. Maybe dominant Fe doesn't necessarily mean that I would be better at these things.

  11. #20

    Quote Originally Posted by orion83uk View Post
    My ideal day:
    A day out with friends exploring something, somewhere that I've never been, followed by going out for dinner in the evening, and winding down with a few drinks and banter in the evening.

    My actual day:
    Get up at half 5, get ready for work and feed the cat, drive to work, work, drive home from work, prepare dinner for me and my ISTJ partner, followed by either slouching in front of the TV or the laptop, then bed... repeat 4 more times to the weekend. Sometimes I spice things up by going to the gym before work. .
    Ohh, can I ask you about how you and your partner deal with arguments or disagreements? I am an ENFJ and my partner is an INTJ and we are so great together until an argument happens. Both of us are so bold headed we don't want to back down if that makes sense


     
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