Hi there, everyone.
My sister is twelve years old and an ESFJ and I wanted to ask a few questions.
I love my sister. A majority of the time (in regards to people who aren't family members), she's very sweet and always focused on making sure everyone enjoys themselves.
However, sometimes she'll start acting extremely mean in regards to my brother (9) and my other sister (6) for seemingly no reason.
Today, for example, after school she came in with both of them and she was in a good mood. Then she said that she wanted to take a shower. I said, "Sure, ok, whatever."
Then my brother said he was going to take a shower and she freaked out on him.
"NO! I SAID I WAS GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER FIRST YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE I'M GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER NOT YOU..."
And I just sat on the couch not knowing why the heck it was such a big deal.
And the problem is that once they settled it- (neither of them are taking showers because the towels are all in the laundry)- she's still angry but about everything else.
My youngest sister dropped water on the floor and my ESFJ sister told her to clean it up. The youngest ignored her and just sat on the couch and my ESFJ sister actually got the phone, called my mom, and said "SHE DROPPED WATER ON THE FLOOR TELL HER TO CLEAN IT UP".
After she got off the phone, she started yelling at my youngest sister who got up and took some Kleenex and sat on the floor to wipe it.
Then my sister said, "YOU DON'T USE KLEENEX, STUPID, USE PAPER TOWELS."
I asked her to please stop yelling at my sister, calm down, and stop making such a big deal out of it.
She said, "NO."
I think you get the idea.
Anyway, I really want to understand why this happens. I'm not sure if the moodiness is true for all ESFJs, but it's definitely true with my sister and that's why I'm asking here. From my perspective, she just looks completely irrational but that really isn't going to get me anywhere with dealing with this and it's not my job to look for words to label her behavior.
If this is something somewhat common and if anyone has any idea what I can do to help, please tell me.