I am an (X)NFP and have been married to an ISFJ for almost 6 years. As an NFP, it's super important to keep the peace and calm around me. My ISFJ is a wonderful friend and is in love with me. I haven't been in love with him for years now, sadly. This causes a great deal of confusion and pain for me, since I want to keep him happy and have a peaceful divorce (they do exist, believe it or not!).
I've tried to tell him I wanted to leave, of course he didn't take it very well and told me he would want to die if I left. So of course, that confused me completely and made me stay. But I am not happy in this marriage and ready to move on with my life. The only reason I stay, is to make sure that he is happy. I pretend everything is fine but have completely detached myself from him emotionally. Ideally, I would like for him to find someone else before I leave, so he doesn't have to suffer as much as possible. I have come to the conclusion that this is the only way I will ever feel at peace with leaving.
What is the best way to let an ESFJ, who still thinks he in love with me, know I want a divorce? And I know this sounds absolutely horrible, but what's the best way to push an ESFJ into another woman's arms?
Thanks for everyone's insight on this issue