[ESFJ] PerCafe's been bringing me down... - Page 2

PerCafe's been bringing me down...

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Page 2 of 9 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 86
Thank Tree332Thanks

This is a discussion on PerCafe's been bringing me down... within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Originally Posted by lenabelle This is what I hate about PerCafe. This us vs. them mentality that some of the ...

  1. #11
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by lenabelle View Post
    This is what I hate about PerCafe. This us vs. them mentality that some of the intuitives (like you) insist on perpetuating. You keep referring to SJs as the "oppressive majority". Really? You think we SJs live a charmed life just because we're the majority in the real world. Guess what, we're all people here. I'm dealing with things and you're dealing with things, but there's no point in arguing over whose problems are worse. I'm sorry for whatever SJ wronged you in your life, but rest assured, I'm not responsible for it.
    I don't feel wronged in particular, i just sympathize with the people who do. Personally, i feel it is useless to go around feeling alienated. I used to, and i got over it. I am using intentionally overdramatic language to make a point. The point being that what you are experiencing is not very far from what many intuitives experience in real life. I am not saying woe be me, poor me poor me i'm an intuitive and the world is mean towards me. I am trying to make you see that what you experience here is what the people ragging on you experience in real life.

    I understand that everybody's got problems. I'm not an idiot like that. But one problem you do not have is that particular kind of alienation that many younger ( and older for that matter ) intuitives feel in a heavily SJ society. Whatever other problems you have are not interesting or relevant to this particular topic. Everybody's got them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Inguz View Post
    I'm INFJ. My mom is ISFJ. My father is ESTP. My sister is ESFP. My other sister is ISTP. I like them all, find interesting topics to discuss with them and enjoy the exchange when they can get me a bit out of my own head. It's refreshing. It can get too much, but I'm also an introvert. I don't feel alienated from society. I don't find sensors on generalized stereotypes as oppressive.

    On the other hand, is this as a sort of "eye for an eye" retribution to you? It's cute. How about you just suck it up and take some crap for the way you actually have been acting in this thread then?
    Good for you. Neither do i. I feel just fine actually. Others don't and many of those others are intuitives feeling lost in a sensor world. This is just fact. And no i do not feel that an eye for an eye is a good policy, but it is FACT. That is how many people are going to behave. I do not go out of my way usually to rag on SJs. I did now because i saw an opportunity to illuminate an important point. On PC the sensors are the intuitives. Here sensors are the weird ones, and the intuitives are the norm. Obviously it would be great if everybody could just leave their IRL experiences with sensors and be all even minded. That, however, is not going to happen. PC is populated by human beings.

    Quote Originally Posted by Figure View Post
    No, @DiamondDays there's no excuse around it, it's ridiculous.

    I don't care how whiney the OP is, people here use the forum to vent about problems they have in the real world with ESFJs and, actually SJs as a whole. They need to take ownership and deal with these issues in the real world, where they actually happen, instead of retreating here to complain about it to people who have nothing to do with their personal issues. People here never complain about ESFJ on the forum, it's always ESFJ in real life - and who ends up having to read it?
    That certainly would be the best course of action for everybody. But you see that is not going to happen. It might not be a good excuse, but it is fact. Denying fact just because it is not smart or makes no sense is just being delusional. You can't expect other people to live up to your high standards, because they never will.
    Praesepe, Hypernova and Syvelocin thanked this post.

  2. #12
    Unknown


    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondDays View Post
    That certainly would be the best course of action for everybody. But you see that is not going to happen. It might not be a good excuse, but it is fact. Denying fact just because it is not smart or makes no sense is just being delusional. You can't expect other people to live up to your high standards, because they never will.
    It's better to be proactive about it than sit around and do nothing.

  3. #13
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by mushr00m View Post
    Projection, much! You make NT's look bad . Luckily, some people know better than to hate on whole temperaments even when good apples also exist. Go and develop some communication skills. Or in other words, grow up!
    Whatever. Learn to fucking read what's actually being said. The point here is NOT that SJs are bad people. I don't think they are. The point is that sensors getting shit on PC is natural. It is not good, it is not reasonable, but it is NATURAL. It is too bad, but it is inevitable. Get over it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Figure View Post
    It's better to be proactive about it than sit around and do nothing.
    So how do you propose going about making all the users of PC entirely free of type based bias? Do you propose that all posters on PC should post entirely making use of real life based experiences? I really don't get how you propose to make a change? I am all for personal development. It is why i am here. But i am not a sucker for lost causes. It may be that i have missed some brilliant way of making people reasonable, but until i am made aware of one i will continue to believe that adapting your expectations of people in general, the big masses, to the realities at hand is better than raging at the fact that people are not being reasonable. They never will be.
    Syvelocin thanked this post.

  4. Remove Advertisements
    PersonalityCafe.com
    Advertisements
     

  5. #14
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondDays View Post
    I don't feel wronged in particular, i just sympathize with the people who do. Personally, i feel it is useless to go around feeling alienated. I used to, and i got over it. I am using intentionally overdramatic language to make a point. The point being that what you are experiencing is not very far from what many intuitives experience in real life. I am not saying woe be me, poor me poor me i'm an intuitive and the world is mean towards me. I am trying to make you see that what you experience here is what the people ragging on you experience in real life.
    I don't think they are apt comparisons to make because people feel free to say things online that they would never say in real life. Here, people can hide behind their anonymity and openly say that they think sensors are stupid, whereas how many intuitives can say that in real life, people have outright told them they were stupid? If intuitives are oppressed, than they are subtly oppressed, rather than directly insulted.

    I think @Figure makes a good point when he says that the solution is not to defend the prevailing mentality here, but to go about changing it. I think people need to be reminded once in a while that life is not black and white. People are people before they are types. Just because I'm an ESFJ doesn't mean I don't understand or have nothing in common with NTs. My dad is an INTJ and we have more in common than you would think. Two of my good friends since high school are ENTP and INTJ. Obviously we had enough in common for us to become friends and maintain a good friendship even to this day. I don't understand why there must be this type warfare online, as if we're different species or something.
    mushr00m, Figure, SnowFairy and 5 others thanked this post.

  6. #15
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by lenabelle View Post
    I don't think they are apt comparisons to make because people feel free to say things online that they would never say in real life. Here, people can hide behind their anonymity and openly say that they think sensors are stupid, whereas how many intuitives can say that in real life, people have outright told them they were stupid? If intuitives are oppressed, than they are subtly oppressed, rather than directly insulted.
    I'd be VERY surprised if not a majority of intuitives have at some point been called stupid by some sensor who entirely missed the point the intuitive was trying to make. It is exceedingly common, especially among young males.

    I think @Figure makes a good point when he says that the solution is not to defend the prevailing mentality here, but to go about changing it. I think people need to be reminded once in a while that life is not black and white. People are people before they are types. Just because I'm an ESFJ doesn't mean I don't understand or have nothing in common with NTs. My dad is an INTJ and we have more in common than you would think. Two of my good friends since high school are ENTP and INTJ. Obviously we had enough in common for us to become friends and maintain a good friendship even to this day. I don't understand why there must be this type warfare online, as if we're different species or something.
    And i have sensor friends. My best friend ever is an ISFP, and we get along great. My sisters and my mother are ESFJ, i love them dearly.

    Once again i am not defending the prevailing mentality. I am explaining it and telling you to get over it. I challenge you, just as i did Figure, to find a way to actually change things. If you can find a way that will work i will be the first one to sign up for the fight, but i do not think you will.
    Syvelocin thanked this post.

  7. #16
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    I don't understand why there must be this type warfare online, as if we're different species or something.
    @Lea nabelle, It's the nature of people, especially on the interwebz. I think it's as simple as that.

    The root of anger is pain and hurt. Sometimes people take their emotional pain and turn it into anger to hide how they feel and to avoid dealing with the problem and to feel some relief. The internet is impersonal and anonymous, which makes it a prime medium for things like you have noticed. If it wasn't you, it would be someone else that @DiamondDays lashed out at. I'm not approving of that type of behavior, but rather pointing it out. I'm guessing he'll see the reference to his name and stop by to give some witty retort.

    Regardless, the way to handle it is to avoid getting angry back (you seem to have that ability so I commend you for that). There's no "winning" when this happens. The best you can do is feel sorry for them and move on.

    As for your original post... take a break!! There's no requirement to post here. If the amount of frustration is greater than the amount of enjoyment you get from being here then it's probably not worth it. From my experience though, the moderators like @Promethea and @Dear sigmund do a good job of keeping things from getting too un-civil. If you stick it out and concentrate on the threads that interest you (and ignore the haters) I think you'll be fine. Try not to give in to the people who spew hate here. It's really just a cover for something that's going wrong in their life.


    You can always PM me if you ever feel it's too much and you just need to vent.





    -ZDD
    Inguz, lenabelle and rd93 thanked this post.

  8. #17
    INFP - The Idealists

    Intuitives who actually hate on all sensors are unhealthy and have serious grudge issues they're not dealing with. Yeah I got teased pretty bad when I was younger since I'm an Ne dominant, but now when I'm 19, that's in the distant past, and while I'm not too fond of those sensors in particular, the vast majority of you are fine.

    Why ESFJ's? Unhealthy ones REALLY stick out, unluckily for you, and the healthy ones are so nice you make easy scapegoats.
    mushr00m, SnowFairy, kaleidoscope and 6 others thanked this post.

  9. #18
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by Zombie Devil Duckie View Post
    The root of anger is pain and hurt. Sometimes people take their emotional pain and turn it into anger to hide how they feel and to avoid dealing with the problem and to feel some relief. The internet is impersonal and anonymous, which makes it a prime medium for things like you have noticed. If it wasn't you, it would be someone else that @DiamondDays lashed out at. I'm not approving of that type of behavior, but rather pointing it out. I'm guessing he'll see the reference to his name and stop by to give some witty retort.
    Did you even read my posts?

  10. #19
    ENTP - The Visionaries


    I believe I'm an intuitive. I was the kid making games where we pretended to be owls and saved the day using our signature hoots. To the boys who played football and the girls who played hopscotch, I was probably a weirdo. No, I was definitely a weirdo. And I didn't have the greatest time in primary school.

    Most of the popular kids in my current school are ESFx. I get along with them, but sometimes they can be absolute dicks. Sometimes, they can even hurt my wittle feewings.

    Do unhealthy, immature Sensors equate to the Sensors online? Most of the time, no. Am I going to advocate irrational and unreasonable bullying because of my personal experience with some Sensors? Hell naw.

    I feel sorry for ESFJs. The majority of them are actually nice, especially the ones online. And they're here to talk and learn, just like us. The unhealthy ones ruin it for them, like @rawrmosher said.
    lenabelle, rawrmosher and Syvelocin thanked this post.

  11. #20
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by lenabelle View Post
    When I first came onto PerCafe, I was surprised by how few ESFJs there are on this site. Now that I've been a regular user for over a year, I think I understand why. I've never seen one type get so much unwarranted hate around PerCafe (the ESTJs are a close second). The few times I stumble onto the NT forums, I always end up in an argument with some a**hole who's convinced that ESFJs are the spawn of Satan. Considering ESFJs make up a significant part of the population (particularly the female population), it just makes me shake my head that these people probably know a lot of ESFJs that they like and just don't realize are ESFJs, but they instead choose to focus on the obviously unhealthy ESFJs who are easiest to spot. Even on this forum, the threads about why everyone dislikes ESFJs and the thread about why everyone thinks ESFJs are stupid are immensely popular. I really appreciate when people come here to ask questions instead of just leaving a rant about how they hate their mother/grandmother/aunt.

    I guess the point of this rant is, I find that I'm starting to avoid PerCafe more and more, and when I do go on, I usually come away annoyed with the internet. I think I'm pretty close to giving it up entirely. Any other ESFJs feel this way?
    I have never seen what you speak of! Not that I am denying it happened but I am slightly astonished that you would blame an entire temperament for this. I think we all receive an equal amount of hate from time to time. In fact I rarely see an esfj mentioned because they rarely come on here. And I don't think it's because everyone has a personal vendetta against ESFJ's, I think the more rational explanation is that ESFJ's tend to become so preoccupied with the real world that they find PERC to be boring.
    Zombie Devil Duckie thanked this post.


     
Page 2 of 9 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] Bringing out the self
    By SLushhYYY in forum INFJ Forum - The Protectors
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-25-2013, 07:01 AM
  2. [INFJ] SO bringing up ex
    By Dewymorning in forum INFJ Forum - The Protectors
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 04-29-2013, 04:48 PM
  3. Replies: 13
    Last Post: 11-22-2011, 06:51 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:27 PM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0