[ESFJ] A couple of questions for ESFJs

A couple of questions for ESFJs

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This is a discussion on A couple of questions for ESFJs within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Please help, I want to relate to some people who I think are ESFJs. Its hard though, being so different. ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    A couple of questions for ESFJs

    Please help, I want to relate to some people who I think are ESFJs. Its hard though, being so different. So I guess what I want to know is,
    What do you guys mostly like as in hobbies/interests?
    What are the things that you care about?
    What type of people do you like?
    How do you view the world?
    Is it normal for you guys to think that being introverted is somehow flawed?
    Zombie Devil Duckie thanked this post.



  2. #2
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    What do you guys mostly like as in hobbies/interests?

    My hobbies are usually something that I can do alone. It's hard to truly relax around people because I'm concentrating on them and not what I'm doing.

    What are the things that you care about?

    I care about being a good person, whether it's at home, work or play. I think about keeping people safe quite a bit, and predicting dangers before they happen. I'm goal oriented but not obsessive about it. I sometimes think about what it would be like to "Win the lottery", but I usually talk myself out of even playing because of the many problems that money brings. I'm already happy right now. What would more money do?

    What type of people do you like?

    All kinds. Every once in awhile I'll meet someone that I instantly don't like, but it's rare.


    How do you view the world?

    I have a very dystopian view of the future of our world. There is so much hate and anger. I try to show people that I interact with how to be kind, at peace, and happy. When they go out into the world, hopefully they take a bit of it with them.

    Having said that... I'm also a realistic person and I've seen first hand how awful people can treat each other. I embrace a gentle way, but inside I am ready for whatever happens. Si vis pacem, para bellum.

    Is it normal for you guys to think that being introverted is somehow flawed?

    Introverts are different, and sometimes difficult for us to deal with because of the giving aspect of our nature. It's hard to give all of the time if you get nothing back in return (which happens sometimes).

    (need to run, will type more later... sorry)

    -ZDD




  3. #3
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    What do you guys mostly like as in hobbies/interests?
    I like a mix of solo and group hobbies. I do have a quiet, introspective side of me that likes things like reading, writing, drawing, playing the piano, play video games, and long walks by myself. Then I have group activities like ballroom dancing, volleyball, and martial arts. I also spend a lot of time focused on my friends, whether it be spending time with them, cooking for them, or talking to them online. My friends take up a lot of my time, to the point where I rarely have time for any of my hobbies anymore, but I'm not complaining.

    What are the things that you care about?
    This is a really broad question. I care a lot about people, doing things for others and making people happy. I like learning about what makes people tick. And then I care about all the hobbies that I listed above. I love reading and learning. Arts, literature, science, you name it.

    What type of people do you like?
    In a general sense, I like people that have consideration for others. Friendly, caring, compassionate people. I think I'm pretty good at reading people and their intentions, and I can usually tell whether people have a good heart or not, whether their character is gold. I like these people. That can apply to any MBTI type.

    How do you view the world?
    Overall, I view the world as inherently good. Yes, there are fucked up things happening, but there are also people who step in and help others when these things happen. There is incredible suffering, but there is also incredible beauty. Maybe I'm just young and naive. My mother tells me that a lot; she's a jaded ESFJ with a very cynical world view that borders on paranoid.

    Is it normal for you guys to think that being introverted is somehow flawed?
    Not at all! I love introverts. They're my favorite. I'm a more introverted ESFJ myself, not the super loud bubbly type at all. I actually appear introverted to some people who don't know me well (mainly extroverts), so I understand where introverts are coming from. I also feel like introverts bring out the extroverted side of me well and allow me to relax and be myself. Really strong extroverts tire me out after a while. A lot of my friends are INFPs and iSFJs. My boyfriend is an ISTJ and my ex was an ISTP. So no, being introverted is not flawed to us.
    Zombie Devil Duckie thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    My mother tells me that a lot; she's a jaded ESFJ with a very cynical world view that borders on paranoid.

    Yep, I'm not the same bright-eyed person I was when I was younger.


    One of the things about reading people is that you can't turn it off, so you see a lot more of the awful side of people and what they have done.

    -ZDD

  6. #5
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Quote Originally Posted by lenabelle View Post
    Overall, I view the world as inherently good. Yes, there are fucked up things happening, but there are also people who step in and help others when these things happen. There is incredible suffering, but there is also incredible beauty. Maybe I'm just young and naive. My mother tells me that a lot; she's a jaded ESFJ with a very cynical world view that borders on paranoid.
    You're not just young and naive, you're exactly right. It's not like the bad, f*#%ed-up stuff is real and the good and beautiful stuff isn't. One of the greatest people I've ever known is an older and wiser ESFJ and he taught me to keep my focus on the good, keep laughing and keep loving, while being sensitive to others' suffering and patient with their f*#%ed-up-ed-ness. I learned so much from him. He's one of the only truly happy and truly wise people I've ever known.
    Zombie Devil Duckie, lenabelle and Ellis Bell thanked this post.

  7. #6
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    Quote Originally Posted by Zombie Devil Duckie View Post
    Yep, I'm not the same bright-eyed person I was when I was younger.


    One of the things about reading people is that you can't turn it off, so you see a lot more of the awful side of people and what they have done.

    -ZDD
    Yeah, I don't quite know what happened to my mother, but she has serious trust issues. She is always looking for an ulterior motive in people who I feel are just being friendly. Probably the result of bad experiences coupled with unhealthy Si.
    Zombie Devil Duckie thanked this post.

  8. #7
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    YAY! I love these kinds of questions. Let me grab my coffee and being my ramblings :)

    What do you guys mostly like as in hobbies/interests?
    I love every kind of sports, although if I'm with friends it makes everything better. I love strapping on a pair of skis and hitting the back country with some friends, or tossing the ball around at the park. I'm extremely competitive when it comes to sports as well, so a lot of my free time is spent practicing, and failure aggravates me greatly.

    There are just too many things to list for this, so I want to point out a general rule of thumb. We love what the group loves. I've picked up so many things because my friends introduced me to them, and shortly thereafter I wanted to become the best at that activity that I possibly could. Some examples: video games and rock climbing.

    What are the things that you care about?
    Family. Loved ones. Values, then all else. We ESFJs are nothing but cuddly little kittens until you attack / offend / cross a line in one of those three categories. THEN, we go from cuddly kitty to pissed off roaring Aslan.

    What type of people do you like?
    People with similar values, mostly. Many people can find friendships because they both like the same football team, or they take the same classes. While I'll be amiable with pretty much everyone, I LIKE people who have the same values that I do, and who show it. Integrity is a big must for me, and honesty is key.

    How do you view the world?
    This one may surprise you, that is, if your general thought of how an ESFJ would reply is based off of this forum, because ESFJ responses that I've seen to this question in the past are all negative and hopeless. I like to view the world as my playground. It's going to sound cliché but I honestly don't think there's anything I can't do. I see the world as a sandbox and I'm the one with the pale and shovel. I'm looking to make a positive impact on people and things, and I want to have fun while doing it. :)

    Is it normal for you guys to think that being introverted is somehow flawed?
    Not in my opinion. My girlfriend, who I absolutely adore with all my heart, is the biggest introvert I know. In fact, sometimes we'll have entire "conversations" where I use words and she just uses expression lol. I find introverts fun, mostly because I respect them. I've long had an interest in psychological type, and I understand that to be most efficient / productive, they need less stimulus, and I respect that completely. I must admit though, many non type conscious ESFJs may think that introverts are flawed, or that being an introvert means you're shy and self conscious. While that is a shallow view, I am blessed to have people in my life that have shown me the value of introversion, and without them, I may have developed a similar view. Finally, kinda random, but some of my favorite videos / books are about introversion Like the TED talk "The Power of Introversion" for example :) Hope this helped, feel free to ask any questions you have :)
    brookietory, Zombie Devil Duckie and Pockyist thanked this post.

  9. #8
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    Hobbies and Interests? Wow, they range from reading, watching movies, and painting and crafting(things i can do alone because even we extroverts need some alone time) to shopping, hanging out with friends, and even my job(all things i do with others so that i get my "people fix":)

    What do I care about? My family and friends would probably be the most important to me. I'm extremely protective of both. I also care about doing the right thing, not just me but those around me. It bugs me to no end when I know someone is doing something wrong.

    People? Pretty much all kinds. Like stated by others, there are some that we just don't like from the start, but that doesn't happen very often. Thats why we're known as the ones who care about everyone.

    My view on the world? Let's not go there. We'd be here all day and I would end up just venting:)

    As far as my personal view on introverts, I don't think they're flawed. The first introvert I met did come across to me as strange because I didn't understand her but now, 8 years later, she's my best friend and I couldn't imagine what my life woud be like if I hadn't met her. Because of this i've gotten a real insight on an introvert's thoughts and perspectives and realized they are in no means flawed, simply different from we extroverts. Thats what makes everything interesting, after all, variety is the spice of life:)
    Zombie Devil Duckie thanked this post.

  10. #9
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    I love strapping on a pair of skis and hitting the back country with some friends
    Cross country skiing and cold weather camping? Just curious. It's one of my favorite things to do in the winter.


    -ZDD

  11. #10
    Unknown Personality

    What do you guys mostly like as in hobbies/interests?
    Drawing, games and friends, I'm a little introverted so the only hobby I like to do with other people is to talk :)

    What are the things that you care about?
    I care about my friends A LOT, if they are feeling sad then I just want to help them as much as possible, if they don't accept my tips then I kinda force them to do something about it cause I just want them to feel better :D

    What type of people do you like?
    I like people who can make other people laugh and at the same time care a lot about them, I kinda like ENFP the most probably just cause they're so random :D, but I still accept every type of personality :P

    [B]How do you view the world?[/B
    Well... where I come from people are kinda mean and two faced so I shouldn't tell you my view of the world :D

    Is it normal for you guys to think that being introverted is somehow flawed?
    I don't think there is anything wrong with introverted people, in fact most of my closest friends are introverted so I get along easily with them :D


     

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