[ESFJ] Do 'ESFJ' partner prefer dating Perceivers type or more 'Judging' types

Do 'ESFJ' partner prefer dating Perceivers type or more 'Judging' types

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  • 1 Post By Asianaries

This is a discussion on Do 'ESFJ' partner prefer dating Perceivers type or more 'Judging' types within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; I remember finding out about my personality type which is an 'Infp' and I scored like 90 percent (Perceiver) so ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    Do 'ESFJ' partner prefer dating Perceivers type or more 'Judging' types

    I remember finding out about my personality type which is an 'Infp' and I scored like 90 percent (Perceiver) so yes that's a very far range lol

    I live my life on the go... Very spontaneous & very flexible and I like it that way

    My problem is when it comes to dating I do run problems if someone is too much on the 'Judging' type or they too much of the 'Perceiving' type like me (hypricitical) I know

    The judging type you have to make plans and if you make those plans... MAN be on time or I will have to deal with the repercussions :) but I LOVE them for pulling out a side of me that no other 'Perceivers' can do... They make time for me, show consistencies which I totally love & appreciate

    In the other hand dating 'Perceivers' they just let me be... More likely I'm more comfortable being around Perceivers because we just get each other and it just chill and laid back' the problem arises I feel that they don't really help me grow or pull things out of me that a 'Judger' personality type would' sometimes dating a perceiver they rarely make plans ... Cancels in last moment then it ends up making me feel unwanted

    My question is should I stick with dating Judgers eventhough they can be rigid at times but I appreciate their consistencies or should I just date Perceivers since their personality gets me more even with all the flakiness I can probably put that aside

    Which match do you ALL tend to go with?? Or your preferred preference



  2. #2
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    I don't have a preference! I dated an ISTP and am now dating an ISTJ. I don't notice a huge difference in my level of comfort between P vs. J, but then again, my ex wasn't super perceiving either and I myself fall 50/50 between J and P. I do have friends that are very much perceivers and are like you, constantly moving from place to place, eager to go to the next. I have a good INFP friend who told me he never wants to live in the same place for longer than a year. He wants to keep exploring the world. Now that would stress me out, since I'm very attached to the idea of a home. I like to mostly stay in one place (I love traveling, but only for short periods of time), and I get sad when I have to leave places. I also can't stand perceivers who are unreasonably late to everything or who flake out on plans. That is just rude to me.

    I think if you're an extreme perceiver, you might be happier with someone who is also a perceiver or who is borderline. If you're an extreme judger, another judger might be the right choice or borderline. If you're more in the middle, you can go either way. But that's just my prediction. I'd say try dating all types! You never know what you might click with. I think judgers can learn a lot from perceivers and vice versa.

  3. #3
    INFP - The Idealists

    Haha the moving around a lot not being able to stick around in one place for a year... Ring a bell :) I remember in my younger years I would literally move around like 7 times in a whole 3 year gap and the thought of signing a year lease or contract scare the cr*ap outta me but I've gotten better though but I still would like to travel and not constrained to anything
    lenabelle thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    Quote Originally Posted by Asianaries View Post
    Haha the moving around a lot not being able to stick around in one place for a year... Ring a bell :) I remember in my younger years I would literally move around like 7 times in a whole 3 year gap and the thought of signing a year lease or contract scare the cr*ap outta me but I've gotten better though but I still would like to travel and not constrained to anything
    See, you and me are opposites. I get really attached to places, even more than I do people. Do you feel like this fear of settling down in one place also carries into your relationships? Like do you feel like you have a harder time committing to one person?

  6. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    I used to be that way... Fear of committing to one person then I start attracting people like me whom are big (commitment phobes) and it just wasn't healthy relationships to be in' with a lot of self help stuff and I must admit some therapy here and there' I'm a totally different person now

    I realize you do recieve what you put out there in the universe so lately I've been attracting much good quality people :) my fear of intimacy and commitment has been put aside little by little... So knock on wood it doesn't change :)


     

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