[ESFJ] ESFJ and INFP - Page 2

ESFJ and INFP

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This is a discussion on ESFJ and INFP within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Originally Posted by Thinker96 yeah i think so, ur probably right about that. We deal with emotions differently and that ...

  1. #11
    Unknown Personality


    Quote Originally Posted by Thinker96 View Post
    yeah i think so, ur probably right about that. We deal with emotions differently and that sometimes can cause a conflict. If she had any problems shed come to with them many times which I dont mind but sometimes it was too much...sometimes it seemed like whining or getting waay too upset about something. and i guess why I didn understand why she had to deal with it like that is because most INFPs deal with emotions by themselves. we just need our alone time or just stay quiet about it and dont express it. its not always healthy lol but its def. opposite of esfj
    But here is where i find the irony of it all .. My partner will ask me whats the matter and if i don't speak up then he pushes me as he can see it via my body language, but if i sense something is up with him and ask about it then i get the 'oh nothing's wrong' and i have to ask myself if i am making it up or sensing something that is not real.

    Quote Originally Posted by rubystone View Post
    does the INFP aloofness bother an ESFJ or they don't mind it at all?
    Does it bother me? .. Yes, if i'm totally honest. I am dating someone from my past so whereas i didn't truly understand his behaviour in the past, i now have insight as to why he behaves the way he does. I allow him his space, try not to discuss trivial everyday stuff to much but mainly give him his space. Sometimes it gets to the point as in the case of this week, that although he was here with me, in ways he wasn't. I have just spoken to him about this subject and he admits he is aloof and me being gregarious, we are opposites in that manner. I just like interacting with people, including my partner *Shrug*

    hope that helped in a small way
    Thinker96, Shades and Margo Channing thanked this post.

  2. #12
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    But here is where i find the irony of it all .. My partner will ask me whats the matter and if i don't speak up then he pushes me as he can see it via my body language, but if i sense something is up with him and ask about it then i get the 'oh nothing's wrong' and i have to ask myself if i am making it up or sensing something that is not real.
    yeah when i know somethings up i will ask and keep asking until she tells me (that is of course if im sure something is going on and its pretty easy for me to pick up on it). if im asked i will usually say 'nothing' which is what u said he does. the reason i do it is because i dont wanna burden someone else with my problems or make it their problem...if he says 'nothing's wrong' but u have a good feeling that there IS something wrong, u should keep asking until he tells u, he probably just doesnt wanna worry u but if u keep asking he will tell u. he just wants to be reassured that u REALLY are there for him and want to help.

  3. #13
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post


    Does it bother me? .. Yes, if i'm totally honest. I am dating someone from my past so whereas i didn't truly understand his behaviour in the past, i now have insight as to why he behaves the way he does. I allow him his space, try not to discuss trivial everyday stuff to much but mainly give him his space. Sometimes it gets to the point as in the case of this week, that although he was here with me, in ways he wasn't. I have just spoken to him about this subject and he admits he is aloof and me being gregarious, we are opposites in that manner. I just like interacting with people, including my partner *Shrug*

    hope that helped in a small way
    oh thanks much much :) appreciate it..yes, i DID HAVE a feeling that he seemed to be bothered by my distance and reserved nature..not just him..probably ES preference typed peepz...anyway, it's not really of a close relationship..much of like a work peer/friendly relationship (uhm..with me having a little crush on him..hehe) and i was just curious as to what he really thinks about this...do you think it's weird though?? i feel like i'm under scrutiny when i'm off alone and they are together and i feel like they're talking stuff like 'what is wrong with her?' 'why doesn't she mingle with us?'...you know those kinds of stuff...coz sometimes i just don't feel like going there and say 'hey whats up?' ..usually i get tongue tied and i would act like a total idiot and they're a bunch of guys and it's usually pretty different when i'm with guys than with gals..but anyways..hehe..thanks for your insights though ^_^ now i'm really getting more aware..
    Thinker96 thanked this post.

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  5. #14
    Unknown Personality


    Quote Originally Posted by Thinker96 View Post
    yeah when i know somethings up i will ask and keep asking until she tells me (that is of course if im sure something is going on and its pretty easy for me to pick up on it). if im asked i will usually say 'nothing' which is what u said he does. the reason i do it is because i dont wanna burden someone else with my problems or make it their problem...if he says 'nothing's wrong' but u have a good feeling that there IS something wrong, u should keep asking until he tells u, he probably just doesnt wanna worry u but if u keep asking he will tell u. he just wants to be reassured that u REALLY are there for him and want to help.
    This is exactly what i mean *Pulls hair out*, lol. See i don't like to burden people either with my problems but i maintain the idea of open communication, so if he keeps on bugging me for an answer, i know ultimately i should speak up. It is not in my nature though to keep bugging people, i don't like it so i just walk away and hope he'll speak up at some point. Although i was talking to him about this thread and he has told me that if something is worrying him and i do pick up on it, he'll tell me he is thinking and will at some point bring it up. I suppose that is better a compromise than any :)

    Quote Originally Posted by rubystone View Post
    oh thanks much much :) appreciate it..yes, i DID HAVE a feeling that he seemed to be bothered by my distance and reserved nature..not just him..probably ES preference typed peepz...anyway, it's not really of a close relationship..much of like a work peer/friendly relationship (uhm..with me having a little crush on him..hehe) and i was just curious as to what he really thinks about this...do you think it's weird though?? i feel like i'm under scrutiny when i'm off alone and they are together and i feel like they're talking stuff like 'what is wrong with her?' 'why doesn't she mingle with us?'...you know those kinds of stuff...coz sometimes i just don't feel like going there and say 'hey whats up?' ..usually i get tongue tied and i would act like a total idiot and they're a bunch of guys and it's usually pretty different when i'm with guys than with gals..but anyways..hehe..thanks for your insights though ^_^ now i'm really getting more aware..
    Be careful with what you perceive .. Instead ask staright out. My partner sometimes jumps to the wrong conclusions and it frustrates me. All that time and hassle was unnecessary if only he'd of spoke to me. People are not mind readers, tell him why you go off and spend time alone .. It's better than him jumping to conclusions thinking he may of done something wrong. I only understood you guys better when i read a description of your type, and it helped immensely. Remember he doesn't know all that much about you .. So let him in, tell him why you feel the way you do (even if it may make you feel vulnerable) and watch what happens .. He'll appeciate you more for being upstraight and honest.

    Good luck.
    Thinker96 thanked this post.

  6. #15
    INFP - The Idealists

    thanks for replying...although with the opening part...i don't think i'd have any right to do so coz we're just casual friends...i mean he might be surprised on me saying these kinds of things...soo...maybe i'll just wait for the right time or when i get to know him better as well...it really takes time for me (us) to be really comfortable saying out loud how I (we) really feel to people...

  7. #16
    Unknown Personality


    Are ESFJs usually drawn to shy and introverts? I have known more than 10 ESFJs in college, most of them are girls who are nice and approaching towards me which I find so endearing. They know that I'm gay so there's no way they are flirting.

  8. #17
    INTP

    ESFJs are usually drawn toward introverts, E needs I to work out well. That is how all the different relationships work out.
    It seems to be a pattern showing that E tends to enjoy being around their opposite energy consumer Extrovert to Introvert, Judging and opposite Perceiving. J to P. BUt the information gaining function usually is the same. N to N and S to S. That is an exception with ESFJ though...

    ESFJ goes towards INFP
    ISFJ goes towards ESFP
    INTJ goes towards ENTP
    and ENFP goes towards IN INTJ or INFJ
    Melogene thanked this post.

  9. #18
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by MakuYuen View Post
    ESFJs are usually drawn toward introverts, E needs I to work out well. That is how all the different relationships work out.
    It seems to be a pattern showing that E tends to enjoy being around their opposite energy consumer Extrovert to Introvert, Judging and opposite Perceiving. J to P. BUt the information gaining function usually is the same. N to N and S to S. That is an exception with ESFJ though...

    ESFJ goes towards INFP
    ISFJ goes towards ESFP
    INTJ goes towards ENTP
    and ENFP goes towards IN INTJ or INFJ
    I agree. I like to be around other sensors because it gives me a break from my own thoughts. Does that make sense? I naturally look for the hidden meaning behind everything. I can't turn it off. It's just the way my brain works. And ESFJ naturally brings out our tertiary Si, and sometimes, we really need it! We can get so caught up in finding out what everything means, and finding hidden connections between things, and it's so refreshing to be around someone who's just like, "Hey, don't take it so seriously." I mean, it can be annoying because I love a good intuitive conversation. But at the end of the day, I don't necessarily want to be around someone who thinks like I do.

  10. #19
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    I don't know about you guys, but INFPs make me feel amazing. They like to compliment in a very free way, and it's like they're in awe before my ability to handle a conversation with ease and to approach new people, as well as my ESFJ selflessness. I feel like a superstar when I'm with them.

  11. #20
    INTP

    Quote Originally Posted by Northance View Post
    I don't know about you guys, but INFPs make me feel amazing. They like to compliment in a very free way, and it's like they're in awe before my ability to handle a conversation with ease and to approach new people, as well as my ESFJ selflessness. I feel like a superstar when I'm with them.
    I don't think I had the joy of ever meeting a real INFP, they're hiding pretty well in my life... :(


     
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