[ESFJ] conflict

conflict

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  • 1 Post By Korvyna

This is a discussion on conflict within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; How do you guys deal with conflict? How do you deal with personal insults, invasions of personal space, intimidation etc....

  1. #1
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers


    conflict

    How do you guys deal with conflict? How do you deal with personal insults, invasions of personal space, intimidation etc.



  2. #2

    Hmm.... For the most part when I am irritated or upset with someone or a group of people I need my space to get away and clear my head. I don't like to deal with issues right in the heat of the moment. I have a very bad tendency to say things that I really don't mean when I deal with conflict that way. I'm pretty quick with most decisions in my life, so I really only need 30 minutes or an hour to cool off and think about things...

    When it comes to insults, and I know it's just someone trying to get under my skin, I join in and insult myself right along side them. Most people I've done this to have gotten confused or annoyed that they aren't getting to me and go away. It's really hard to insult someone who is as hard on themselves as I am.

    Ugh... This is the worst... I usually just tolerate it when my personal space is invaded. Unless the person is right in my face talking... That drives me nuts. Usually I will keep backing up or find a way to force space between me and the person...

    I actually don't get intimidated easily. I'm not really intimidated by people... Situations, yes, people, no... If that makes any sense! I can talk to a person I've never met in my life easily... but for some reason, strolling into the first day of class or into a new job I am a nervous wreck! But when it comes to talk to the people in class/at new job I'm fine, it's the idea of failure that intimidates me.

    The worst conflict I have in my life right now is two of my best guy friends. One I have known forever and he is like my big brother.... And the other one stood up for me when no one else did and has been the most loyal friend I have ever had, I'm like his right hand (wo)man now. The problem is.... I can't put these two in the same room together... They despise each other, and I wasn't entirely sure why, until I figured out that my "brother" had a massive crush on my "right hand man's" girlfriend (now ex girlfriend). I still have yet to have effectively dealt with this conflict... I've really just avoided the problem by keeping these two separate in my life. I also make it a point to avoid talking about one when I'm hanging out with the other. Not effective, I know, but I just haven't figured out how to make these two stop being children and act their age!


 

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