This is a discussion on What kinds of people are ESFJ's naturally drawn to? within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Originally Posted by ESFJ Casey I have a ENFP brother too! And they say ENFPs are rare lol I actually ...
newish person.. probably doesn tknow about the typisism rule. just gave a warning
"ESFJ's natural partner is the ISFP, or the INFP" said a website*. But, I'm an ENFJ and I love my ESFJ so much, and I'm so satisfied with him ! He is as well happy with me .
At a party, I'd be drawn to anyone who is FUN and outgoing. I'd likely start talking to anyone who started talking to me first and had interesting stories to tell. Can't stand it when someone strikes up a conversation and then has nothing to say to follow it up...
I also love talking to people who can teach me something, or tell me something I've never heard of before.
An ESFJ chiming in for herself:
In a social situation where I don't usually know anyone well, if at all, I'll usually chat up anyone who seems at least receptive to small talk. In general, I find myself ending up in the company of NFs and NTs, followed by fellow SJs and finally SPs, basically in that order. Most of my close friends are introverts.
If I had a choice of people to interact with, I'd go for people who are thoughtful and/or creative and imaginative. I guess that explains the NFs and NTs!
Oh! And my significant other of almost 10 years is a very, very strong INTJ. I don't know what that says about either of us, lol.
I agree I tend to follow the same order. Best friends and bfs are INFPs, ENFPs, ENTJs, ENTPs, ENFJs, etc... etc.. have a hard time with INTP though... INTJs are also good but also hard to get out of their shell at small talk at parties, so those friendships get built other places.
I like fellow ESFJs but when you're with someone exactly like you, you uncomfortably see their flaws and dont see their virtues because you already have those met in yourself. I do have one ESFJ friend and our friendship consists of mutually intense gabbing about our lives : )
There are always exceptions... ISTPs are fun to *watch* or *be near* but I kind of think a relationship with them doesnt involve talking. Dated an ISTJ for a long time... but those kinds of friendships are formed more slowly and not through small talk, through constant proximity.
The only one I havent been able to deal with thus far, in terms of people I've actually identified, is ESTP. I've always found them to be too callous with other people, but then again the ones I met were all egotistical frat boys..
As for SPs, I'm not entirely sure how well I get along with them or don't simply because I never really find them within my social circles. I'm sure I've interacted with them before, but whenever I have a friend take the MBTI, they never turn out to be SPs. The few confirmed SP acquaintances I have I'm not really close to and don't see myself ever becoming close to. I'm really kind of a laid-back homebody so that might be why (not to generalize artisans too much) I don't cross paths with them often.
INTP for me. I usually don't start a conversation at party. Someone has to come up to me because I'm most likley too shy.
When there is a balance in the INTP-ESFJ relationship then it's a great thing, the INTP (from my experience only) opens up and the ESFJ listens more. I like that a lot. A switch of roles so to speak. I was once in a relationship with a girl who was more of an extrovert than me, way "louder" in a way and sometimes I just couldn't wait to be alone yet we lived together. It's weird.
But to answer the quaestion I have mostly been drawn to INTP's or INTJ and even ISTP's. I have a thing for the Thinkers. They inlfuence me in the best possible way.