[ESFJ] Ask an ESFJ - Page 4

Ask an ESFJ

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Page 4 of 12 FirstFirst ... 2 3 4 5 6 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 112
Thank Tree96Thanks

This is a discussion on Ask an ESFJ within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Originally Posted by A Temperamental Flutist I love ESFJs! I had an ESFJ band teacher. He was the nicest guy ...

  1. #31

    Quote Originally Posted by A Temperamental Flutist View Post
    I love ESFJs! I had an ESFJ band teacher. He was the nicest guy and never got truly angry in the time I was with him. I miss my band teacher, so I'm going to lurk here because I like ESFJs. I even started a "Praise the Type Above You" thread that started with me complimenting ESFJs because you guys are so awesome.

    My Question Is: Is it normal for people to form stronger attachments to ESFJs in shorter amounts of time than they would with other types?
    I've heard that's pretty common with ENFJs, but it hasn't been my experience. I mean of course everyone has those acquaintances where the person likes you more than you like them; that's just life. But usually, if someone wants to be my friend and get to know me, I want to be theirs as well! I love connecting with people, so I'm pretty enthusiastic about befriending anyone. And if the feeling is mutual from their end, I'm ecstatic. I try to match the receiving person's level of enthusiasm. If they really want to get close to me, I reciprocate (unless there's something that makes me want to pull the brakes), but if they don't seem too keen on me, I back off and move on. Hmmm I'd actually say I'm usually the one who feels closer to the other person!
    petitpèlerin thanked this post.

  2. #32

    Quote Originally Posted by gfeee View Post
    According to the test, Extraverted sensing is somewhat is in inferior function of mine. So, I was wondering, how does it like to be a person with extraverted sensing as your dominant function? thanks.
    I think that's a question for ESxP's, they're Se-doms!

    ESFJs are Si-aux :)

  3. #33
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Personally I find it easier to befriend Fe-doms than any other type. Since I tend to keep my distance from people, and ExFJs tend to bridge distances from people, they're some of the only types I tend to actually build relationships with. Other types often remain just acquaintances, even if I like them a lot, I just don't know how to get closer unless life puts us together somehow.

    @inregardstomyself That is so encouraging, since I'm convinced that I like my ESFJ friend more than he likes me. But I'm keeping an open mind, because I realize that he works totally differently than me (such as what you just described), and I'm learning as I go. We have the slowest-developing friendship in the world, I think, spanning many years and many time zones, but he seems to want me in his life for the long haul, so I'm optimistic. I love your insight, as always.
    Last edited by petitpèlerin; 12-09-2015 at 07:36 PM.

  4. Remove Advertisements
    PersonalityCafe.com
    Advertisements
     

  5. #34
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Dear ESFJ,

    What does it mean if an ESFJ (guy) tells you you're friends forever, from now into eternity? (A strong belief in a Judeo-Christian afterlife is a solid basis for your friendship.) Does it mean that he wants to be your friend that long? Or does it mean that he senses that you want to be his friend that long?! You ESFJs are so hard to figure out. ;)

  6. #35
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    Quote Originally Posted by gfeee View Post
    According to the test, Extraverted sensing is somewhat is in inferior function of mine. So, I was wondering, how does it like to be a person with extraverted sensing as your dominant function? thanks.
    Hi Gfeee!

    Our function stack actually looks like this:

    Fe
    Si
    Ne
    Ti

    So we are extraverted dominant, and sensing. However, we don't have Se (extraverted sensing) in our top functions. We have Si (introverted sensing) as our second function, which is similar, but also very different.

    If you want to learn about Se, here are the types to ask: ESFP, ESTP, ISFP, and ISTP. Those are all Se dom or Se secondary.

    Hope that helps! :)
    gfeee thanked this post.

  7. #36
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    Quote Originally Posted by petitpèlerin View Post
    Dear ESFJ,

    What does it mean if an ESFJ (guy) tells you you're friends forever, from now into eternity? (A strong belief in a Judeo-Christian afterlife is a solid basis for your friendship.) Does it mean that he wants to be your friend that long? Or does it mean that he senses that you want to be his friend that long?! You ESFJs are so hard to figure out. ;)
    I'd say he's pretty darn attached. Probably even in a romantic way, if there are no obstacles to being that (i.e. both of you are single and interested in each other's gender, not a-romantic, etc). I know for me, I have a hard time opening up about how much I am attached to someone, for fear of rejection. If he's opening up like that with you, I feel pretty confident that he means what he says and he feels secure in your friendship.

  8. #37
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Quote Originally Posted by Norina View Post
    I'd say he's pretty darn attached. Probably even in a romantic way, if there are no obstacles to being that (i.e. both of you are single and interested in each other's gender, not a-romantic, etc). I know for me, I have a hard time opening up about how much I am attached to someone, for fear of rejection. If he's opening up like that with you, I feel pretty confident that he means what he says and he feels secure in your friendship.
    Thanks. :) You really have a hard time opening up about being attached to someone? I wouldn't expect that from ExFJs, you seem so open about so many other things that you feel. I'm sure it depends on the individual, but is it because you don't want the other person to feel bad or the relationship to feel awkward if they don't feel the same way you do? And in romantic relationships, are the other person's feelings ever a guide for you? I mean, would you ever develop stronger feelings or a deeper interest in someone just knowing that they had feelings for you? It sounds like it works that way for some of you in friendship, what about in romance?

    My friend and I are both very heterosexual. :) But he's a monk (well, a member of a religious community) and wants to become a priest. As much as he's attracted to women and capable of truly loving a woman (he has a huge heart, of course, he's an ESFJ!) he's given up that possibility to do what he really wants to do with his life . . . I'm probably going to end up a member of the same community. Well, their sister community. (I was for a while but I left for a while, but I'll probably go back when I can.) I know he would be very happy if I did, I know he cares about me deeply (which is hard for me to believe with my very inferior-Fe insecurities but I have to be realistic and understand that he's this strange FJ breed!) I just can't quite figure out what his feelings are for me, because he's not very open with them. It would be helpful for me to know and would help me overcome my insecurities because I'd have a concrete experience of someone I really love who really loves me. Maybe they'll become clearer in time.

    I'm still working out what it is to have a true, good, and healthy brother-sister relationship with someone you really love but do not want to have anything like a romance with, not because the feelings aren't there but because it wouldn't be appropriate, and in this case love means sacrificing something for a greater good. Maybe he's working out similar things? He's probably several steps ahead of me at any given time, just because he's an ESFJ and you guys are very, very good at sorting out the social and emotional stuff.

    I don't know what it is, my Fe goes haywire over this guy. My rugged individualism goes out the window . . .

  9. #38
    Unknown Personality

    Umm...do you have any tips on where can I find male ESFJ or even ISFJ? Like places where you usually hangout? I can't seem to find these two anywhere around my place

  10. #39

    Quote Originally Posted by Wayside View Post
    Thanks for starting this thread! In general I am a fan of ESFJs. (You guys don't deserve all the hate you get on the Internet.)

    Are you status conscious?

    What does social status or social standing mean to you?
    Thank you very much for being nice.


    Yes for the most part I am very concerned about the way people feel and think about me. I want people to like me so they will be nice to me. Plus, I have this thing called a conscience so if I am ever not nice or well-mannered I give myself an inner guilt-trip that on the outside probably only looks like a sad face.
    Social status to me means that you are aware of your own reputation and consider it to be important. That's all I can think to say about it. Don't want to feel like I'm over-thinking it, bleh.


    Quote Originally Posted by ZZZVader View Post
    I was wondering, do ESFJs think that, if everyone in the world were just like them, they would all get along? lol
    You don't have to be just like me for us to get along. Although I do like nice people the best, and I am a nice person, so you could say that I like people that remind me of myself. I don't usually make that comparison, though. I usually compare the nice people I meet to each other, and not myself.
    petitpèlerin thanked this post.

  11. #40
    ENFJ - The Givers

    Quote Originally Posted by Norina View Post
    It sounds like there might have been other reasons he was not willing to share with you. He might think of you, but at the end of the day, how much does that (or his reasoning) really matter? If he was not willing to commit and that's what you needed, then other reasons don't matter. It sounds like splitting up was the healthiest option, rather than one of you compromising. I am sorry for the pain it caused, though. Breaking up is never easy, even if it is right.
    Norina, yes, good observation. There were other reasons he didn't want to share with me... I often wonder why he would not want to. I typically don't see ESFJs as very private people.

    Thanks for the advice.


     
Page 4 of 12 FirstFirst ... 2 3 4 5 6 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 12
    Last Post: 12-04-2014, 01:44 AM
  2. [ESFJ] ISFJ/ESFJ dating relationship, ESFJ MEN HELP!!
    By Kodie Loiler in forum ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-22-2014, 05:10 PM
  3. [ESFJ] ESFJ's POV from an ESFJ!
    By RandomShadowPersonality in forum ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 03-21-2013, 02:23 PM
  4. [ESFJ] ESFJ and Enneagram: What does an Enneagram type "X" look like on the ESFJ?
    By Boolean11 in forum ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-03-2013, 03:32 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:06 PM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0