Am I an ESFJ?

Am I an ESFJ?

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  • 1 Post By Yugensuru
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  • 1 Post By Yugensuru

This is a discussion on Am I an ESFJ? within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Hi everyone! I wanted to confirm if I'm an ESFJ because I'm not quite if I'm still an ESFJ. I'm ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality


    Am I an ESFJ?

    Hi everyone!

    I wanted to confirm if I'm an ESFJ because I'm not quite if I'm still an ESFJ. I'm sure I was once an ESFJ, I always cared about what people thought of me, which was always my main concern back in High School. I'm unsure if I could still say that I'm an ESFJ today.

    I am not a very talkative person neither am I a social person but at the same time, I always have the desire to go out and be with my friends or someone who is close to me. I have the tendency to value close friendships and want friendship for a lifetime. I do talk to people but I'm always nervous or shaking whenever I talk to new people, my body and hands get cold if I talk to people that I am not close with for a very long periods of time. I don't think I could handle being in a situation as if all attention were on me and that means, having to talk to a lot of people at a party for an example. I also have a friend who is also an ESFJ, and I find him to be way too talkative and I can't seem to catch up with what he has to say sometimes. I feel that I need time in order for our friendship to develop but he already feels connected with me and we just recently met! I seem to get along more with Introverts rather than Extroverts. I feel more at home with them.

    My tests also say that I'm a balance of Extrovert and Introvert. After reading about ISFJ, thinking that I'm an ISFJ, I can't say that I'm an ISFJ but I am sure that I'm an "SJ", if saying this at all helps.

    My friends say that I am a fun person but at the same time, I'm not very talkative, neither would I feel comfortable initiating conversations with strangers or making friends with random people or the people that I am surrounded with. I could only maintain a conversation for a short while or I'd feel uncomfortable afterwards, especially if you're someone I don't know or someone I don't talk to everyday. I am friendly and I'd say hi to everyone, if they also seem friendly and would say hi back. I am not emotionally in tune with people's feelings, neither would I know how to react if a friend was hurt or upset. I could easily move on after a relationship has ended, especially if the relationship did not work out. But in the first few weeks after the break up, I'd feel lonely and I'd have the desire to talk to someone that I could connect with again, and hopefully finding someone who could replace that person. I don't mind dealing with conflicts or constructive criticism. I have trust issues, and I'm very picky with who I keep in touch with but at the same time, I have the desire to talk to a lot of people. I also tend to mimic different personalities and different people. I always think that I am right, and yes, I'm also a perfectionist. I am sure that I'm not an intuitive person but I'm unsure if I'm still a Feeler or a Thinker but I'm definitely a Judger since I have the tendency to follow schedules and plans rather than living my life moment to moment.

    Could anyone help me with this?

    Help's appreciated!
    thank you!
    Grey thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I understand your doubt, to begin. I began to think I was an ESTJ for a time, considering my dominant personality. There are some things to consider, however.

    Extroverts gain energy from contact, and introverts expend energy in contact. This means that, although an extrovert can be incredibly shy and an introvert can be the loudest mouth on the planet, the extrovert will feel energized and charged up by the interaction, if it's in a positive situation. The introvert will eventually lose their energy and become very tired, even if it is a positive situation.

    Intuition and Sensing preferences are a lot more difficult to decide on. Supposedly, intuitives spend a lot of time in their head and deal in imagination, while sensors are very concrete and centered in the here and now. I find the former description is broken by the ENxx types, and the latter description is broken by the ISxx types. My definition for differentiating between the two is both functions (I'll get to that), and preferences. Do you prefer to deal in your five senses and what you can observe - moreover, do you have a natural preference for practical matters? Do you prefer to deal in abstract matters, imagination and theory - moreover, do you find you have a natural preference to choose theory over practical? You can be interested in abstract matters, but this does not make you an intuitive.

    The difference between Thinking and Feeling preferences is very simple. Feeling functions deal in subjective matters first and foremost (people, emotions, etc.), while Thinking functions deal in objective matters first (Facts, Events, etc.). xxFx types can definitely be rational and intellectual, and xxTx types can definitely be in tune with their emotions and sensitive. The difference is which you prefer to call upon first.

    Judging and Perceiving types are not defined by orderliness and spontaneity. That's one of the pitfalls when deciding type. Judging and Perceiving preferences are essentially the deciders for your functions. If you do not know about functions, functions are basically different forms of technique you call upon in your life. ESFJs use Extroverted Feeling (Fe) first, which is aimed towards the physical world of people and feelings, and then use Introverted Sensing next (Si), which deals in recalling facts and details and comparing them to the present situation. The order of Fe-Si is how you prefer to approach things - you do not use those functions and those alone. Everyone uses Extroverted Sensing (Se) at some point, often to pay attention to the here and now in the physical world, and everyone uses Introverted Feeling (Fi) at some point, often to deal with and define their inner value system and who they truly are.

    You definitely strike me as a ExxJ, at the very least. The important thing is to remember not to give into the stereotypes. I do apologize for the monster of a post.

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality


    Quote Originally Posted by Grey View Post
    I understand your doubt, to begin. I began to think I was an ESTJ for a time, considering my dominant personality. There are some things to consider, however.

    Extroverts gain energy from contact, and introverts expend energy in contact. This means that, although an extrovert can be incredibly shy and an introvert can be the loudest mouth on the planet, the extrovert will feel energized and charged up by the interaction, if it's in a positive situation. The introvert will eventually lose their energy and become very tired, even if it is a positive situation.

    Intuition and Sensing preferences are a lot more difficult to decide on. Supposedly, intuitives spend a lot of time in their head and deal in imagination, while sensors are very concrete and centered in the here and now. I find the former description is broken by the ENxx types, and the latter description is broken by the ISxx types. My definition for differentiating between the two is both functions (I'll get to that), and preferences. Do you prefer to deal in your five senses and what you can observe - moreover, do you have a natural preference for practical matters? Do you prefer to deal in abstract matters, imagination and theory - moreover, do you find you have a natural preference to choose theory over practical? You can be interested in abstract matters, but this does not make you an intuitive.

    The difference between Thinking and Feeling preferences is very simple. Feeling functions deal in subjective matters first and foremost (people, emotions, etc.), while Thinking functions deal in objective matters first (Facts, Events, etc.). xxFx types can definitely be rational and intellectual, and xxTx types can definitely be in tune with their emotions and sensitive. The difference is which you prefer to call upon first.

    Judging and Perceiving types are not defined by orderliness and spontaneity. That's one of the pitfalls when deciding type. Judging and Perceiving preferences are essentially the deciders for your functions. If you do not know about functions, functions are basically different forms of technique you call upon in your life. ESFJs use Extroverted Feeling (Fe) first, which is aimed towards the physical world of people and feelings, and then use Introverted Sensing next (Si), which deals in recalling facts and details and comparing them to the present situation. The order of Fe-Si is how you prefer to approach things - you do not use those functions and those alone. Everyone uses Extroverted Sensing (Se) at some point, often to pay attention to the here and now in the physical world, and everyone uses Introverted Feeling (Fi) at some point, often to deal with and define their inner value system and who they truly are.

    You definitely strike me as a ExxJ, at the very least. The important thing is to remember not to give into the stereotypes. I do apologize for the monster of a post.
    Hi there!

    Thank you for the helpful answer and information you had up there! At the time, I was confused whether or not to consider myself a Feeler or a Thinker, even though the two are distinguishable, I still had doubts!

    I'd identify more as an ESTJ, and yes, I would definitely prefer practical and rationality over idealistic perspectives.

    I also read into the ESFJ profile, which also rings true at times.
    Grey thanked this post.


 

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