Does this sound like an ESFJ? I'm not sure...

Does this sound like an ESFJ? I'm not sure...

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  • 1 Post By dasch

This is a discussion on Does this sound like an ESFJ? I'm not sure... within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; So one of my current roommates I've really been wondering what her personality type is. I was thinking she might ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Does this sound like an ESFJ? I'm not sure...

    So one of my current roommates I've really been wondering what her personality type is. I was thinking she might be an ESFJ, but compared to a friend of mine that I know for sure is an ESFJ, she is quite different. I'm not sure if it's just the weaker characteristics compared to my friend, maturity, her environment growing up, or what but I've been a bit baffled trying to really "figure her out".
    Here's some of her characteristics and things that she has done...

    - She is always talking on the phone -- clearly an extravert.
    - With every guy she dated she never really thought about it before hand. Instead, she would just "jump in" without any thought.
    - With that being said, he last boyfriend would never call her during the week or want to talk to her and she never saw anything wrong with that. They broke up after she dumped him after he never responded to her phone calls after over 2 weeks of attempts to talk.
    - She always talks very highly of herself and the "views" of her family. For example, she will criticize if my other roommate is watching CNN because that is liberal and she is conservative... though she never gives any real reason as to why she is conservative, instead, she just says "because my family is very conservative".
    - She is not independent by any means. She could not drive for about 6 months and she always expected me or my other roommate to drive her, even if it did not fit in our schedule and were busy. There is a bus system available to get there but she never took the effort to try that.
    - During our final this past week, we had to write a paper about how we were going to deal with student teaching without any direction from a professor and then we had to write a review about a book we read and how it ties into education. As she was writing her paper she decided to write about her family and how they influenced her and was crying during the whole 2 hour duration that we had to write the paper.
    - She seems to always need a guy in her life for some emotional validation.... and easily sleeps around (for me to be perfectly honest).
    - She's really not too afraid to criticize someone else's mediocre efforts or perhaps unenjoyable situation.
    - When I told her that I broke up with my boyfriend, she immediately asked "Oh are you okay?" and then right after that proceeded to talk about her current and past relationships for two hours.
    - She's big on keeping things in "order" to a small degree. For example, she came up with the idea that we all needed to rotate turns with weekly cleanings and makes a monthly calendar to keep track of who buys milk and who's turn it is. However, she leaves a lot of clutter around that she doesn't clean up for several days... example, leaving cans in the sink and leaving food out for several hours.

    It baffles me because the characteristics themselves seem ESFJ - extraverted, realistic, sensitive, likes to keep things in order. However, compared to my friend that I know is an ESFJ (for sure) she is much more orderly than my roommate, she hosts a lot of parties, is big on noticing people's "tones" and getting offended, if going through a rough time she will actively listen and not talk about herself, etc. etc.

    I just don't know... does this sound like an ESFJ or does it sound like some other type? Any thoughts?



  2. #2

    Maybe? reading from what you've described, she's most likely to be an ESFJ with a high preference over the Feeling side. Why don't you ask her to take a quick test to be precise? Personally, I wouldn't bother or waste my time crying over what I wrote on a paper that's considered a school homework or talking about my past and continuously talk for the past 2 hours when the other person could careless, especially if they didn't ask about my present and the past. I don't host parties or go to parties neither do I excessively use the phone to talk to a friend or someone who I've recently met. We seem to be like the opposites to be perfectly honest.

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Mochi View Post
    Maybe? reading from what you've described, she's most likely to be an ESFJ with a high preference over the Feeling side. Why don't you ask her to take a quick test to be precise? Personally, I wouldn't bother or waste my time crying over what I wrote on a paper that's considered a school homework or talking about my past and continuously talk for the past 2 hours when the other person could careless, especially if they didn't ask about my present and the past. I don't host parties or go to parties neither do I excessively use the phone to talk to a friend or someone who I've recently met. We seem to be like the opposites to be perfectly honest.
    Yeah, I was thinking that perhaps she just has a really high feeler preference and a lower J than my other ESFJ friend that I was referring to. Hence, there are some distinct differences. Interesting. Thanks.


 

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