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This is a discussion on Ask an ESFP within the ESFP Forum - The Performers forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; Originally Posted by Fat Bozo You mean put off things we don't want to do in order to do things ...

  1. #141
    ISFP - The Artists

    Quote Originally Posted by Fat Bozo View Post
    You mean put off things we don't want to do in order to do things we want to do? Yes, most definitely.
    Agreed.

  2. #142
    ESFP - The Performers


    I hate being alone. I'd happily spend all of my time around people. So yes, I'd say I'm VERY extroverted

  3. #143
    INFJ - The Protectors

    First off I want to say that I love ESFPs. They know to show love and how to receive love. Their childlike wonder is very attractive,occasionally aggravating, but mostly cute. My question is this: how come you lovely ladies cannot take even the most carefully worded, objective, loving, constructive criticism? I've calmly tried to explain to my ESFP lady friend how I felt about some of the things that she was doing that were harmful to me, our work crew, and herself. It was like I'd stabbed her, she looked so wounded, which was then followed by unspoken anger. I could tell she was upset with herself, upset with me, and I felt terrible but she knows that I love her. I wouldn't have taken the time to confront her if I didn't care. Could you ESFP's please explain why you take criticism so personally? (By the way you guys look really cute when you're angry .)

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  5. #144

    Quote Originally Posted by drummaster350 View Post
    First off I want to say that I love ESFPs. They know to show love and how to receive love. Their childlike wonder is very attractive,occasionally aggravating, but mostly cute. My question is this: how come you lovely ladies cannot take even the most carefully worded, objective, loving, constructive criticism? I've calmly tried to explain to my ESFP lady friend how I felt about some of the things that she was doing that were harmful to me, our work crew, and herself. It was like I'd stabbed her, she looked so wounded, which was then followed by unspoken anger. I could tell she was upset with herself, upset with me, and I felt terrible but she knows that I love her. I wouldn't have taken the time to confront her if I didn't care. Could you ESFP's please explain why you take criticism so personally? (By the way you guys look really cute when you're angry .)
    Well, I can only speak for myself here; but if I do get criticized, deep down I know the person giving the criticism cares. I just like to feel competent, in control and helpful. Being criticized bruises my ego right quick because that completely destroys me envisioning I'm accomplishing being those things that I want to be (in control, helpful and competent).

    And I wish I looked cute when I'm angry- I tend to scare people, lol. :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by Hugty View Post
    Do you guys easily procrastinate to do things that you want to do?
    It all depends on the project that has to be done. I'm going to admit, I can be lazy at times. But if I'm in a position of responsibility, I can put blinders on and get the job done efficiently to leave room open for other things later. I thank my parents for helping me realize it's better to get things done and have fun without the knowledge you left something "undone".

    Quote Originally Posted by sicaelliott View Post
    I've read two different things - are you, as an ESFP, quick to hold grudges? What sort of things make you hold a grudge?
    I don't normally hold grudges. If you do something that doesn't sit right with me; you might get some social niceties, but I'm not wasting my energy on you again. You'll have the door slammed in your face and I'm going to carry on with my life, and expect you to do the same.
    njchick thanked this post.

  6. #145

    Quote Originally Posted by drummaster350 View Post
    First off I want to say that I love ESFPs. They know to show love and how to receive love. Their childlike wonder is very attractive,occasionally aggravating, but mostly cute. My question is this: how come you lovely ladies cannot take even the most carefully worded, objective, loving, constructive criticism? I've calmly tried to explain to my ESFP lady friend how I felt about some of the things that she was doing that were harmful to me, our work crew, and herself. It was like I'd stabbed her, she looked so wounded, which was then followed by unspoken anger. I could tell she was upset with herself, upset with me, and I felt terrible but she knows that I love her. I wouldn't have taken the time to confront her if I didn't care. Could you ESFP's please explain why you take criticism so personally? (By the way you guys look really cute when you're angry .)
    Objective criticism is worse! I am not great with criticism, but I wouldn't normally get angry about it...just wounded.

  7. #146
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by roastingmallows View Post
    Objective criticism is worse! I am not great with criticism, but I wouldn't normally get angry about it...just wounded.
    Why specifically is objective criticism worse? My idea of objective criticism is when you take yourself (the criticizer) out of it and kindly try to get object of your criticism to see the facts. Subjective criticism would be to personalize the standpoint of your criticism by saying this what I think you need to be doing. I suppose both would not be enjoyable from an ESFP standpoint but is objective criticism worse?

  8. #147

    Quote Originally Posted by drummaster350 View Post
    Why specifically is objective criticism worse? My idea of objective criticism is when you take yourself (the criticizer) out of it and kindly try to get object of your criticism to see the facts. Subjective criticism would be to personalize the standpoint of your criticism by saying this what I think you need to be doing. I suppose both would not be enjoyable from an ESFP standpoint but is objective criticism worse?
    I'm not saying you should make it PERSONAL but objective criticism sounds like "hey, this is what EVERYONE thinks. No way around it. You're a fool, that's not my opinion, that's just the way it is. Oh, and I don't care. Just telling it like it is." XD I'm exaggerating a bit.
    Valkyria thanked this post.

  9. #148
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by roastingmallows View Post
    I'm not saying you should make it PERSONAL but objective criticism sounds like "hey, this is what EVERYONE thinks. No way around it. You're a fool, that's not my opinion, that's just the way it is. Oh, and I don't care. Just telling it like it is." XD I'm exaggerating a bit.
    Ah...I see. Thank you for you feedback.

  10. #149
    ESFP - The Performers

    I really don't mind objective criticism. Just make sure it's accurate, and not petty.
    roastingmallows and drummaster350 thanked this post.

  11. #150

    That's legit. Like I said though, I don't get mad about criticism, I just start questioning everything I ever thought I was good at. I like my criticism sugarcoated!
    Glenda Gnome Starr thanked this post.


     
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