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This is a discussion on Ask an ESFP within the ESFP Forum - The Performers forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; How do you recognise an ESFP and catch their attention? I don't mean romantically so, I just really want another ...

  1. #21
    INFP - The Idealists

    How do you recognise an ESFP and catch their attention? I don't mean romantically so, I just really want another ESFP as a friend. The last one I met was through an ENTP, and he was a lot of fun, but he lives in a different city. Also, I'm in high school... if that makes any difference to the way they behave. o.o
    armika_armika thanked this post.

  2. #22
    INFJ - The Protectors


    When you see an introvert, what is usually the first thing that runs through your mind?

    Esxps seem so popular. Have you ever wished to be another personality type for a moment? If so, which one?

  3. #23

    I have a friend I am guessing is an ESFP. He's somewhat of a Sad Sally. He's told me he can't stand himself, he can't stand being with himself, it depresses him. He likes to play music because it let's go of his ego, in the Freudian term. Naturally, I, as a Fi dom, can't help but interpret the letting go of the ego as actually coming close to yourself. I kindly and gently argued this possibility, and the thought of him coming closer to himself made him pale in the face.

    Is it an ESFP thing to really despise or fear your 'inner' self? He's terrified of individualism, not in the "Hey I stand out in the crowd" way, but in a way where you recognize that you are YOU and no one else. As an ISFP, I find that thought as exhilarating as cliff diving. But he finds that thought as terrifying as cliff diving, lol. Does this ring a bell? Is this how we differ?

    If so, is it healthy for the ESFP to avoid the self, or is it healthy for the ESFP to, gulp, uncover it? For me, I've realized that I need to not be so inner and actually go out into the world, be outside and welcome people in. In other words, be more social. But I wonder if it's the opposite for an ESFP in his/her personal growth.
    armika_armika and codydraco thanked this post.

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  5. #24
    ESFP - The Performers

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatName View Post
    When you see an introvert, what is usually the first thing that runs through your mind?

    Esxps seem so popular. Have you ever wished to be another personality type for a moment? If so, which one?
    When I see an introvert, my first thought is "Oh! How interesting that person seems to be!!!"

    I would like to be a "J"-person. I want order and control in my life. Maybe I become more and more J-ish every day. Oh, and I would also like to be a "T"-person. Learn how to look at things more objective, without the mushyfushy-feelings. Seperate myself from facts. I think Intps are generally quite J-ish in a way, because even if they often are surrounded by chaos (like their apartment) in their mind things are so much more clear. Thats my impression anyway.
    Ellis Bell, DreamBubble, ThatName and 5 others thanked this post.

  6. #25
    ESFP - The Performers

    Quote Originally Posted by m_dogg View Post
    I have a friend I am guessing is an ESFP. He's somewhat of a Sad Sally. He's told me he can't stand himself, he can't stand being with himself, it depresses him. He likes to play music because it let's go of his ego, in the Freudian term. Naturally, I, as a Fi dom, can't help but interpret the letting go of the ego as actually coming close to yourself. I kindly and gently argued this possibility, and the thought of him coming closer to himself made him pale in the face.

    Is it an ESFP thing to really despise or fear your 'inner' self? He's terrified of individualism, not in the "Hey I stand out in the crowd" way, but in a way where you recognize that you are YOU and no one else. As an ISFP, I find that thought as exhilarating as cliff diving. But he finds that thought as terrifying as cliff diving, lol. Does this ring a bell? Is this how we differ?

    If so, is it healthy for the ESFP to avoid the self, or is it healthy for the ESFP to, gulp, uncover it? For me, I've realized that I need to not be so inner and actually go out into the world, be outside and welcome people in. In other words, be more social. But I wonder if it's the opposite for an ESFP in his/her personal growth.
    I recognise myself a little bit in your description of your friend. Although I'm not that extreme. Sharing is pleasurable and rewarding, so sharing any experience with someone else makes it more special to me, and I appreciate it much more than if I had the same experience alone. If I'm alone and no one knows what I experienced, it's almost like it never happened :O No not really, but almost.

    It's a strong belief for me that the healthy way is to uncover your true self. Escaping it will, in the long run, turn you into an emtpy shell. No substance within. One can not exist in a healthy way only inside one self, and neither only outside oneself.

    So we can learn from each other!!!

    Here's a nice vid about how to be alone, for anyone who sometimes is scared of it.

    m_dogg, Rafiki, dpt727 and 1 others thanked this post.

  7. #26

    Quote Originally Posted by armika_armika View Post
    I recognise myself a little bit in your description of your friend. Although I'm not that extreme. Sharing is pleasurable and rewarding, so sharing any experience with someone else makes it more special to me, and I appreciate it much more than if I had the same experience alone. If I'm alone and no one knows what I experienced, it's almost like it never happened :O No not really, but almost.

    It's a strong belief for me that the healthy way is to uncover your true self. Escaping it will, in the long run, turn you into an emtpy shell. No substance within. One can not exist in a healthy way only inside one self, and neither only outside oneself.

    So we can learn from each other!!!

    Here's a nice vid about how to be alone, for anyone who sometimes is scared of it.

    Aww that's sweet!

    Yeah he and I have just recently realized we'd probably learn a lot about ourselves and life if we start becoming better friends.

  8. #27
    INFJ - The Protectors


    Quote Originally Posted by armika_armika View Post
    When I see an introvert, my first thought is "Oh! How interesting that person seems to be!!!"

    I would like to be a "J"-person. I want order and control in my life. Maybe I become more and more J-ish every day. Oh, and I would also like to be a "T"-person. Learn how to look at things more objective, without the mushyfushy-feelings. Seperate myself from facts. I think Intps are generally quite J-ish in a way, because even if they often are surrounded by chaos (like their apartment) in their mind things are so much more clear. Thats my impression anyway.
    honestly, as a "J"-person, sometimes I wish I could get the acknowledgement, attention, and respect you esxp's get. to me, life boils down to results. You can achieve the greatest accomplishments...for example, discover a cure for cancer...but if it goes unnoticed, you kind of feel as if your life wasn't worth living...or it just didn't matter...that's just my perspective...

  9. #28
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Quote Originally Posted by armika_armika View Post
    When I see an introvert, my first thought is "Oh! How interesting that person seems to be!!!"

    I would like to be a "J"-person. I want order and control in my life. Maybe I become more and more J-ish every day. Oh, and I would also like to be a "T"-person. Learn how to look at things more objective, without the mushyfushy-feelings. Seperate myself from facts. I think Intps are generally quite J-ish in a way, because even if they often are surrounded by chaos (like their apartment) in their mind things are so much more clear. Thats my impression anyway.
    For INTPs, everything is clear and ordered in their minds... but it would make absolutely zero sense to an outsider.

    Sometimes the "T" can be a curse, too...
    air.ee.yell thanked this post.

  10. #29
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatName View Post
    When you see an introvert, what is usually the first thing that runs through your mind?

    Esxps seem so popular. Have you ever wished to be another personality type for a moment? If so, which one?
    First thing I think is, "Ooh someone who will be a good listener!" Just kidding (sort of). I also think, hmm, what is going on in their head? I enjoy the mystery.
    Quote Originally Posted by m_dogg View Post
    I have a friend I am guessing is an ESFP. He's somewhat of a Sad Sally. He's told me he can't stand himself, he can't stand being with himself, it depresses him. He likes to play music because it let's go of his ego, in the Freudian term. Naturally, I, as a Fi dom, can't help but interpret the letting go of the ego as actually coming close to yourself. I kindly and gently argued this possibility, and the thought of him coming closer to himself made him pale in the face.

    Is it an ESFP thing to really despise or fear your 'inner' self? He's terrified of individualism, not in the "Hey I stand out in the crowd" way, but in a way where you recognize that you are YOU and no one else. As an ISFP, I find that thought as exhilarating as cliff diving. But he finds that thought as terrifying as cliff diving, lol. Does this ring a bell? Is this how we differ?

    If so, is it healthy for the ESFP to avoid the self, or is it healthy for the ESFP to, gulp, uncover it? For me, I've realized that I need to not be so inner and actually go out into the world, be outside and welcome people in. In other words, be more social. But I wonder if it's the opposite for an ESFP in his/her personal growth.
    Well I do not like to be alone with myself because I get energy from interacting with others. So I would not say that I can't stand myself, but I don't like to sit and stare at a wall thinking about who I am at the core. I do my personal growth through interacting with the environment, not through inner reflection.

    I think it is healthy to be open to self-discovery, but it doesn't have to look the way it looks for an introvert. I go through processes to find myself, but they don't look like yours do.

    But I am like your friend, in enjoying things that take me out of my head into the moment. Which is kind of the opposite of how it sounds like you like to find yourself. I like becoming one with the moment.
    dpt727 thanked this post.

  11. #30

    Quote Originally Posted by sparkles View Post
    First thing I think is, "Ooh someone who will be a good listener!" Just kidding (sort of). I also think, hmm, what is going on in their head? I enjoy the mystery.

    Well I do not like to be alone with myself because I get energy from interacting with others. So I would not say that I can't stand myself, but I don't like to sit and stare at a wall thinking about who I am at the core. I do my personal growth through interacting with the environment, not through inner reflection.

    I think it is healthy to be open to self-discovery, but it doesn't have to look the way it looks for an introvert. I go through processes to find myself, but they don't look like yours do.

    But I am like your friend, in enjoying things that take me out of my head into the moment. Which is kind of the opposite of how it sounds like you like to find yourself. I like becoming one with the moment.
    Oh don't get me wrong, I'm a very in-the-moment person too, we share extroverted sensing. But he has literally said he tries to avoid himself. Maybe he is an ISFP who hasn't come to terms with it; OR he thinks there is something wrong with getting energy primarilly thru social interaction? Most of his friends and ex girlfriends are/were introverted, so I could see where he would be pressured to have to reflect mostly in his inner world, even though it may not be natural to him. But I don't understand why he should hate his inner self. I mean, I suppose i used to hate my outer self until I came to terms with who I am. Staying out too long begins to feel unnerving still, but now I'm much more comfortable conversing and introducing myself to new people, and with those I already know. Maybe it's opposite for him? How do insecure extroverts come to terms with their inner world? Or is it something very individual? I know art was the passageway for me into the outer world (and also being in a special relationship).


     
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