[ESFP] Ask an ESFP - Page 5

Ask an ESFP

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Page 5 of 122 FirstFirst ... 3 4 5 6 7 15 55 105 ... LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 1211
Thank Tree761Thanks

This is a discussion on Ask an ESFP within the ESFP Forum - The Performers forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; Originally Posted by hannahthatswong Sorry if this is asked already on a What do ESFPs think of INFJs? (Either as ...

  1. #41
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by hannahthatswong View Post
    Sorry if this is asked already on a
    What do ESFPs think of INFJs? (Either as friends or partne
    Just out of curiosity that's all.
    I am not sure I know any INFJs. I love ISTJs and ISFJs. If the INxx doesn't read into things all the time or expect me to stay in the realm of hypotheticals too much we should get along very well. I love hanging out with introverts and with feelers. Never been in a feeler relationship afaik, potential to feed insecurity and intensity.

    ESFP when healthy can enjoy and get along with anybody :)
    K27 thanked this post.

  2. #42
    Unknown

    @sparkles Thanks for your feedback ^_^

    I'm aware that ESFP aren't really future orientated but
    How do you go about with commitment when you finally do/want to commit, either with people or other things like hobbies?
    Last edited by Hanz; 07-29-2012 at 07:55 PM. Reason: tagged the wrong person lol

  3. #43
    Unknown

    Sorry double post >.>

  4. Remove Advertisements
    PersonalityCafe.com
    Advertisements
     

  5. #44
    Unknown Personality

    Depends. With hobbies if there is a social element it is only a matter of becoming a habit. With people if I decide I like the person and have enough proof they like me too I get pretty committed. But this may not be common to the type and maturity/health levels matter. I have never been commitment shy if that was the kind of relationship I wanted. But if someone comes on strong too soon or before I decided I want a relationship I can become skittish.
    kaylamint thanked this post.

  6. #45
    Unknown

    Yeah I see where maturity/health levels come in.

    Hmm, what do you think of long distant relationships?
    Sorry that I'm asking so many questions XD

  7. #46
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by hannahthatswong View Post
    Yeah I see where maturity/health levels come in.

    Hmm, what do you think of long distant relationships?
    Sorry that I'm asking so many questions XD
    No problem.

    I do not think I could do LDR. I need lots of contact and touching and squishiness. If I did LDR it would be after some time in a f2f arrangement. But I have never done LDR, because I think it would be much too hard. But LDR is much more common than it used to be so you don't need to assume my answer applies for others.

    I remember one time I tried to stay in a relationship while I was away for the summer, and it was too hard. For both of us. I think because I am so VERRRRY focused on the here and now, even one day away from a person feels like a very long time. So LDR is harder for how my mind works.
    Hanz thanked this post.

  8. #47
    Unknown

    Do you have any long distant online friends you keep in contact often?

  9. #48
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by hannahthatswong View Post
    Do you have any long distant online friends you keep in contact often?
    Yes I love my online buddies XD

    For me, a relationship is different. I have certain expectations (that others may not have). I need physical affection, and lots of it. And I need to give it also. I can deal without this affection a little better with friendships.
    Hanz thanked this post.

  10. #49

    How do I help a teenage female ESFP who has serious problems with her parents when her parents are my best friends? She is 15 and has a very controlling ESTP father, and a pretty controlling ESTJ step mom. My ENTP daughter is her same age and they are friends.

    I've seen the ESFP's parents ride this girl from sun up to sun down. It's almost like they "pick" on her (they have other children-ISTJ, ISFJ on the mom's side. ESFP is ESTP's biological child).

    I don't believe it's abusive, but I can understand what it's like to have this combination of thinker parents and be a feeler child. She doesn't know what is unique and special about her. I asked her "Do you know your strengths?" and "Do you know what is good about you?" And she responded "no". So I had my daughter tell her and I told her what I saw as her gifts. I don't think she's ever heard this before.

    The way she maintains her "it's all good" and lively attitude is by burrying herself in intimate relationships more and more as an escape. I don't think her parents are understanding her feelings.

    I'm in such a tough position because I am very good friends with her mother. But the daughter has approached both my daughter and me because she is finally hitting her limit and finally breaking down. I mean it takes A LOT for EXFPs who usually go along with so much, to finally break down.

    I mean, I saw her turn the cheek over and over and has an "It's okay attitude" when her parents are just bitching at her like she is a Cinderella. In addition, I think her dad talks to her way too combatively. I remember this with my ESTP dad who was physically threatening with my brother. I just feel like her dad has never had some challenging son he can't control.

    I have a lot of influence over her ESTJ step mother. I'm basically her step mom's coffee psychologist. So I told the ESFP "I'm going to recommend to your mom some therapy for you." I'm thinking her feelings need to be validated. She has never been validated. But she got scared when I told her this. She thinks, "..the therapist is going to tell me to listen to my mom..."

    In addition, the ESFP's biological mother is some huge type of loser who cares more about drugs than her daughter. She has basically abandoned her daughter. Even when she has had visitation, she doesn't do it.

    I feel so sorry for this little girl. And the worst part is that she is so accepting of it all. I want her to know how much value she has, but I walk a fine line. The reality is that she will basically understand her value, when she will also understand what assholes her parents are to her and how she is deserving of more.

    Do ESFPs ever hit a point? This girl can display anger more than I ever could. So I was a huge target for depression. Seems like this girl can actually throw a punch or get physical when she is upset. I don't know what is better. I don't think she has it within her to actually really hurt someone else. I'm more worried about her unvalidated psyche. At this point, I don't think she even is aware that she deserves to be validated.

    I don't know. Maybe I'm just blogging? But it would be comforting to hear any ESFP opinions.

  11. #50
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkrasputin View Post
    I have a lot of influence over her ESTJ step mother. I'm basically her step mom's coffee psychologist. So I told the ESFP "I'm going to recommend to your mom some therapy for you." I'm thinking her feelings need to be validated. She has never been validated. But she got scared when I told her this. She thinks, "..the therapist is going to tell me to listen to my mom..."
    Help her understand that the right therapist isn't going to do that. The therapist is there to hear HER not the parents. If that doesn't happen she needs to get a new therapist. I'm all for getting the ESFP someone to validate her, especially if it does not come naturally in the family. Feelers need that more than they realize.

    The reality is that she will basically understand her value, when she will also understand what assholes her parents are to her and how she is deserving of more.
    Not necessarily. It can be framed in terms of limitations - the parents are limited by their own quirks.
    Do ESFPs ever hit a point? This girl can display anger more than I ever could. So I was a huge target for depression. Seems like this girl can actually throw a punch or get physical when she is upset. I don't know what is better. I don't think she has it within her to actually really hurt someone else. I'm more worried about her unvalidated psyche. At this point, I don't think she even is aware that she deserves to be validated.

    I don't know. Maybe I'm just blogging? But it would be comforting to hear any ESFP opinions.
    Not sure I'm entirely clear on the question "do we ever hit a point"... I can take a lot of crap but if I feel unduly mistreated I will either back away or stand up for myself. I imagine it would be harder to stand up to parents when you rely on them for material things.

    If you are worried that your efforts to get her help will increase the family strife, well, that might happen. But when you're healing dysfunction it's like it stirs up all the extra sludge as you're clearing it out - so greater problems temporarily can be a sign of good things.

    If you're worried about mom misreading you, frame it as different approaches. Like I can see what she needs, and you are on a different wavelength and that is no one's fault. She needs to find someone who makes it okay for her to be different from you in this way. No one is to blame here.

    Not sure how helpful I've been. The overall question was a little vague or abstract, and I don't answer those well!
    pinkrasputin and See Above thanked this post.


     
Page 5 of 122 FirstFirst ... 3 4 5 6 7 15 55 105 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. [ENTP] Esfp
    By trice in forum ENTP Forum- The Visionaries
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 06-09-2018, 09:43 PM
  2. [ESFP] Attention ESFP Women: Can an INTJ woo an ESFP and if so how?
    By perennialurker in forum ESFP Forum - The Performers
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 04-28-2017, 02:30 AM
  3. [ESFP] I need ESFP advice on a ESFP friend
    By HappyCamper in forum ESFP Forum - The Performers
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 03-05-2015, 01:57 AM
  4. [ESFP] is this person an ESFP or acting like an ESFP Girl? Video
    By enneagram6level9 in forum ESFP Forum - The Performers
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 09-12-2014, 04:46 PM
  5. WTF?? How do I tell what he is? Is he really ESFP
    By beth x in forum Guess the type
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-28-2011, 02:06 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:33 AM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0