[ESFP] Getting an ESFP back or keeping as friends??

Getting an ESFP back or keeping as friends??

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This is a discussion on Getting an ESFP back or keeping as friends?? within the ESFP Forum - The Performers forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; So, I'm an ENFP female, and the ESFP guy and I have been talking NON-STOP for 1 month and a ...

  1. #1
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Getting an ESFP back or keeping as friends??

    So, I'm an ENFP female, and the ESFP guy and I have been talking NON-STOP for 1 month and a half straight, and it has been fun, exciting, and we have practically fallen in love. I know he's an ESFP for sure btw. He works at night, so we text and email sometimes while I'm at work til he goes to bed, then later at night before he goes to work and call and so on. It's tough fitting everything in, but we've been doing it for over a month. We've met 3 times for small amounts of time, but mostly our communication is at like a 9 out of 10 right now even though we haven't met up that many times.

    Anyway, obviously his schedule is hectic, and he told me that from the beginning. He said a lot of friends and relationships can't deal with it. Of COURSE, I thought I could too until we would talk for hours about how much we liked each other, how much we had in common, etc and then he wouldn't be able to come see me and what not. We also had a firework physical connection that was the fastest I've ever had with any guy in such a short amount of time. He would constantly 'tell' me how he felt through phone and text though, so I felt better about it, but ya know actions speak louder than words. He also had an injury one week and was out of commission then and stressed about work and money. I was trying to be patient and supportive because I know I can shut down when stress is everywhere too. I was starting to get frustrated at him though not being able to commit to any plans or anything. I know ESFP's don't usually like committing to plans, I don't either, but with our schedules we kinda have too or there is no relationship.

    So this past weekend, I unfortunately got drunk at my friends wedding, talked to him 4 times, said everything about how I feel, and we decided to break up or slow things down. Literally, the day before he was telling me he was falling in love with me still. Anyway, as for the drunken night, I can't exactly remember all the details, but he still texted me back the next morning. I asked him to refresh my memory, and then he said we decided to give it a rest and let him get his crap together. I then said 'oh, guess I shouldnt be textin u then, my head is still foggy.' He said 'we still can talk, just not as serious.' So what does that mean?

    I know I obviously shouldn't be waiting on this guy, and I don't plan on it, but I do kinda want to keep chatting as friends or just keep the option open. We literally were talking about marriage and such (jokingly) because we liked each other so much and had so much in common, I'm seriously bummed out that I freaked out so much while drinking. I've heard other ENFP's say the same thing happens with them and ESFP's, quick flames and then just as quick burnout! So, am I just a victim of that?

    Should I wait to see if he will contact me to talk? Or should I say something light and funny just to keep the chat going? What would be the best approach to get you back interested? Can't believe I was such a girl and blabbed all my feelings drunk! ugh! I wish I woulda just let it stay casual. Maybe he needs some time? I'm usually much more confident and collected on a daily basis. Is it typical of ESFP's to say how they feel but not match actions consistently? I'm so confused. Any ESFP opinions would be super helpful!!



  2. #2
    INFJ

    Quote Originally Posted by Blonderock8 View Post
    So, I'm an ENFP female, and the ESFP guy and I have been talking NON-STOP for 1 month and a half straight, and it has been fun, exciting, and we have practically fallen in love. I know he's an ESFP for sure btw. He works at night, so we text and email sometimes while I'm at work til he goes to bed, then later at night before he goes to work and call and so on. It's tough fitting everything in, but we've been doing it for over a month. We've met 3 times for small amounts of time, but mostly our communication is at like a 9 out of 10 right now even though we haven't met up that many times.

    Anyway, obviously his schedule is hectic, and he told me that from the beginning. He said a lot of friends and relationships can't deal with it. Of COURSE, I thought I could too until we would talk for hours about how much we liked each other, how much we had in common, etc and then he wouldn't be able to come see me and what not. We also had a firework physical connection that was the fastest I've ever had with any guy in such a short amount of time. He would constantly 'tell' me how he felt through phone and text though, so I felt better about it, but ya know actions speak louder than words. He also had an injury one week and was out of commission then and stressed about work and money. I was trying to be patient and supportive because I know I can shut down when stress is everywhere too. I was starting to get frustrated at him though not being able to commit to any plans or anything. I know ESFP's don't usually like committing to plans, I don't either, but with our schedules we kinda have too or there is no relationship.

    So this past weekend, I unfortunately got drunk at my friends wedding, talked to him 4 times, said everything about how I feel, and we decided to break up or slow things down. Literally, the day before he was telling me he was falling in love with me still. Anyway, as for the drunken night, I can't exactly remember all the details, but he still texted me back the next morning. I asked him to refresh my memory, and then he said we decided to give it a rest and let him get his crap together. I then said 'oh, guess I shouldnt be textin u then, my head is still foggy.' He said 'we still can talk, just not as serious.' So what does that mean?

    I know I obviously shouldn't be waiting on this guy, and I don't plan on it, but I do kinda want to keep chatting as friends or just keep the option open. We literally were talking about marriage and such (jokingly) because we liked each other so much and had so much in common, I'm seriously bummed out that I freaked out so much while drinking. I've heard other ENFP's say the same thing happens with them and ESFP's, quick flames and then just as quick burnout! So, am I just a victim of that?

    Should I wait to see if he will contact me to talk? Or should I say something light and funny just to keep the chat going? What would be the best approach to get you back interested? Can't believe I was such a girl and blabbed all my feelings drunk! ugh! I wish I woulda just let it stay casual. Maybe he needs some time? I'm usually much more confident and collected on a daily basis. Is it typical of ESFP's to say how they feel but not match actions consistently? I'm so confused. Any ESFP opinions would be super helpful!!
    Well, obviously you haven't "practically fallen in love," you have fallen in love. Sadly, I'd say that it sounds like he's just not as much into you. When you were talking and joking about marriage and what not, you may have been slightly more serious than he was. He may have been just having fun. In any event, it sounds to me like what he mostly wants from you is some degree of friendship. I think you should try relating to him on that level. Try communicating with him again.

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Ugh, don't wanna think I fell in love that fast, but possibly. The thing is he said that to me first! He brought up joking to get married b/c of how perfect we were, and a bunch of other flattery. I took it jokingly at first, but he said it often. I know ENSP's like to be playful though, and so do I but I guess I don't 'joke' as much like he did about serious topics. I don't think he really wanted to be in a serious relationship and doesn't have the time (being a sensor, isn't he thinking about the current present?), and then I really 'cornered' him with all the relationship convo. I kinda wanted to keep it light too, just didn't want to be a pushover letting him cancel plans and what not.
    Do ESFP's just let go of relationships quickly or if I contact him with something conversational, will he possibly reply? I know I would almost always respond in some way unless someone hurt me really bad, but that's just me. Would any of you ESFP's honestly talk to someone every day for a month just for amusement and really not get attached? I'm all for entertainment, but that seems a bit much.


 

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