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This is a discussion on Ask a question bitch !!! within the ESFP Forum - The Performers forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; Originally Posted by Mange A woman I work with who might be esfp has been petty af to me for ...

  1. #11
    ESFP

    Quote Originally Posted by Mange View Post
    A woman I work with who might be esfp has been petty af to me for no reason at all (I don't talk to anyone there, they know nothing about me) how do I get her to leave me alone when she clearly has no concept of introversion/leaving me alone

    Just tell her that when you're working you want to stay focused on what you're doing and nothing else.

  2. #12

    Do you notice any similarities between yourself and the rest of the gamma quadrant (XNTJs, ISFPs)? Like in the way you handle things, process, come across, etc.

  3. #13
    ESFP

    Quote Originally Posted by isaac_a15 View Post
    Do you notice any similarities between yourself and the rest of the gamma quadrant (XNTJs, ISFPs)? Like in the way you handle things, process, come across, etc.




    I think Gammas usually don't like speculating about the possible meaning behind things. Gammas tend to want to have the ability to control their lives and to do this they gather up factual knowledge about how things work. Whilst people from other quadrants might enjoy long debates about things and speculating over different topics, Gammas usually don't do this as much because they gather up the facts and that tells them what they need to know as far as how things actually are, if that makes sense. We tend to value facts basically although maybe not so much INTJs because of weak Se. They might be more open to theorising due to Ni. I think in social situations Gammas also tend to come across as cold and distant if we consider the people around to be just acquaintances as apposed to friends. When Gammas do open up about their feelings/inner worlds to people we expect them to take it very seriously. We usually don't open up to people easily due to introverted feeling. Also Gammas tend to have the darkest vibe to them I think.

    Both Gammas and Betas are intense but Gammas are internally intense as apposed to Betas who are much more theatrical and expressive. For INTJs for instance this emotional intensity might manifest as them having a cynical view of the world due to their ability to see the bigger picture and being always aware of the fact that the world has had it's fair share of wars, torture, rape and genocide. Therefor having the opinion that the world is ultimately a tragic place which creates an inner sadness that they always have. With ESFPs it's actually very similar. ESFPs tend to see the world in a very matter of fact way due to Se - Te. Basically Gammas tend to see the world as a tragedy. We tend to be internally very emotionally dark but we don't directly express it.
    isaac_a15 and AnneM thanked this post.

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  5. #14

    What's a question bitch?
    HIX thanked this post.

  6. #15
    ESFP

    Quote Originally Posted by Dustanddawnzone View Post
    What's a question bitch?

    A secretary
    Pizzafari and Eu_citzen thanked this post.

  7. #16

    Okay, kind of a serious question but I'd really value any feedback. I think my daughter is an ESFP (she's still pretty young though) and I was just wondering if you have any advice or suggestions on what you think would be helpful to raise a balanced ESFP. Like what are things your parents did that you appreciated or didn't or anything you wish could have been done differently?

    Thanks!
    HIX thanked this post.

  8. #17
    ESFP

    Quote Originally Posted by SummerRoads View Post
    Okay, kind of a serious question but I'd really value any feedback. I think my daughter is an ESFP (she's still pretty young though) and I was just wondering if you have any advice or suggestions on what you think would be helpful to raise a balanced ESFP. Like what are things your parents did that you appreciated or didn't or anything you wish could have been done differently?

    Thanks!



    For starters ESFPs value freedom and having the choice to explore and make their own decisions, so you have to not have too many rules for her. ESFPs don't care about rules and tradition the same way you might as an SJ and that's probably never going to change. Me for example, I am extremely opposed to any kind of argument that persists that because it is tradition then it has to be this way. The biggest difference between you and your daughter is that you are an SJ and she is an SP. Just don't forget that she probably is not going to care about tradition and the tried and true approach and that is ok.

    ESFPs usually have a shit tone of energy and will power so I would suggest that you put her up for some kind of sport or physical activity that will hopefully be an avenue for her to express her energy. Also getting her to read books is a good idea. But I think that's good for any child. Getting her to occasionally spend some time alone is a good idea, I think since ESFPs are usually described as one of the most extroverted out of all the extroverts. But I would say the main thing you have to give her is freedom since we value that a lot.
    SummerRoads thanked this post.

  9. #18

    Thanks Hicks! Had to laugh out loud about the tons of energy and willpower part! Ha, so true! She just goes and goes and goes.. it's really amazing. I always thought I was a super extrovert but I really do think she has me beat. Feel a little bad for my INTP husband and ISFJ daughter.... because between me and the ESFP...we're pretty loud and talk quite a bit. Haha!

    Thanks for the advice and I definitely hear you on the freedom and not making too many rules / traditions mandatory. My husband is an INTP so he has that freedom / anti tradition blood running through him too. So I think between the two of us we're going to do okay for her. I do think it's important for her to have boundaries within which to have a lot of freedom though.

    Another question for you: so she's still really young so maybe she'll grow out of this, but it drives me crazy when the rest of our family has all their stuff ready to go for school in the morning and is on their way out the door and then all of a sudden my ESFP acts as if it's a huge surprise that we're leaving and then scrambles to find all her stuff all over the place and then makes everyone else late. It drives me up the wall because I, as an ESFJ, feel like it's really rude and inconsiderate of other people's time when they got their shit together and were ready to go and now she's holding everyone up. I've tried the whole telling her 10 minutes early thing but she just brushes it off and thinks she'll have plenty of time to get it done. So then I feel like I'm treading this weird line of wanting to trust her with giving her a lot of freedom but then her execution is just really sloppy and affects other people. Any suggestions or does this just work itself out with time? Like do you guys ever plan ahead or do you really just live in the moment and somehow make it work? I think the ESFJ in me internally worries that she'll be that person who is always late to everything, inconveniences others just so she can do it on her own timeline, and is reckless with money because she's so wrapped up in the moment of what she wants to do and won't make the sacrifices in the present to win in the future.... but then I really do believe in her. She is amazing! I want to trust her with lots of freedom but I need her to also show that she can handle that much.
    Last edited by SummerRoads; 04-14-2019 at 05:59 PM.
    HIX thanked this post.

  10. #19

    Why do you speak like a girl?
    Katie Tran, HIX and AnneM thanked this post.

  11. #20
    ESFP

    Thanks Hicks! Had to laugh out loud about the tons of energy and willpower part! Ha, so true! She just goes and goes and goes.. it's really amazing. I always thought I was a super extrovert but I really do think she has me beat. Feel a little bad for my INTP husband and ISFJ daughter.... because between me and the ESFP...we're pretty loud and talk quite a bit. Haha!

    LOL, yeah, ESFPs basically have Viking genetics.



    I do think it's important for her to have boundaries within which to have a lot of freedom though.

    Fair enough.



    question for you: so she's still really young so maybe she'll grow out of this, but it drives me crazy when the rest of our family has all their stuff ready to go for school in the morning and is on their way out the door and then all of a sudden my ESFP acts as if it's a huge surprise that we're leaving and then scrambles to find all her stuff all over the place and then makes everyone else late. It drives me up the wall because I, as an ESFJ, feel like it's really rude and inconsiderate of other people's time when they got their shit together and were ready to go and now she's holding everyone up. I've tried the whole telling her 10 minutes early thing but she just brushes it off and thinks she'll have plenty of time to get it done. So then I feel like I'm treading this weird line of wanting to trust her with giving her a lot of freedom but then her execution is just really sloppy and affects other people. Any suggestions or does this just work itself out with time? Like do you guys ever plan ahead or do you really just live in the moment and somehow make it work? I think the ESFJ in me internally worries that she'll be that person who is always late to everything, inconveniences others just so she can do it on her own timeline, and is reckless with money because she's so wrapped up in the moment of what she wants to do and won't make the sacrifices in the present to win in the future.... but then I really do believe in her. She is amazing! I want to trust her with lots of freedom but I need her to also show that she can handle that much.



    The problem here like you said is being overly in the moment which is a typical trait for younger ESFPs. I was like that when I was very young but now at this point in my life I'm fairly organised. Either she'l mature on her own or she won't. For me personally whenever people told me to grow up or that I needed to change, I never did. The only times in my life that I did start acting like an adult was when I experienced struggle that was directly connected to my own immaturity and once I did change it was purely due to me making the choice to.


    Why don't you tell her to get ready earlier. I don't mean tell her that you're leaving in ten minutes. I mean if you need to leave the house at 9:00, tell her that she needs to be ready by 8:45. You know what else you could do is tell her that if she isn't in the car by whatever time it is that you're leaving, that you'll leave without her. If it happens once it might teach her a lesson. Or you could sit her down and have a serious conversation with her about this. Explain to her that it's not fair on others.
    SummerRoads thanked this post.


     
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