ESFP I want to understand... Do INTJs make you sad? :/ - Page 2

ESFP I want to understand... Do INTJs make you sad? :/

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This is a discussion on ESFP I want to understand... Do INTJs make you sad? :/ within the ESFP Forum - The Performers forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; i am an ESFP, my mother is an ESTP, and my father is an INTJ. it was HARD growing up ...

  1. #11
    ESFP - The Performers

    i am an ESFP, my mother is an ESTP, and my father is an INTJ.
    it was HARD growing up with my dad. he was always pushing me, always disappointed, always putting down my "crazy" ideas for more practical ones; it was hell (on top of that, he's a borderline alcoholic).

    now that i don't live with him, we get a long a lot better. i think it's because we both couldn't stand living with each other. he helps me with money on a regular basis, but that's about it. any emotional support i get from him seems forced, and whenever i call him, it sounds like he feels obligated to talk to me.

    but, since we're pretty much polar opposites, i'll have to deal with it.

    i don't have any advice, really. :( i just wanted to show my empathy and vent a little.

    *hugs*!
    Seamaid thanked this post.

  2. #12
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by Fat Bozo View Post
    Apparently, you misread the topic title. It doesn't say "Hey, INTJs, come bitch about SPs!"


    Heh, I thought it was selfexplanatory. :D

  3. #13
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Haha, my ESFP friend never got my INTJ friend's views at all - it was quite entertaining watching them interact.

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  5. #14
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by museummouth View Post
    i am an ESFP, my mother is an ESTP, and my father is an INTJ.
    it was HARD growing up with my dad. he was always pushing me, always disappointed, always putting down my "crazy" ideas for more practical ones; it was hell (on top of that, he's a borderline alcoholic).

    now that i don't live with him, we get a long a lot better. i think it's because we both couldn't stand living with each other. he helps me with money on a regular basis, but that's about it. any emotional support i get from him seems forced, and whenever i call him, it sounds like he feels obligated to talk to me.

    but, since we're pretty much polar opposites, i'll have to deal with it.

    i don't have any advice, really. :( i just wanted to show my empathy and vent a little.

    *hugs*!
    Aww, must have been hard. D:

    Emotional support doesn't come too naturally for us since we have Introverted Feeling and it's filtered by the cold Introverted Intuition and Extroverted thinking. :/ So it seems forced when we try, but doesn't mean we're faking it or anything. And I personally have a hard time communicating through the phone, so, now that you mention it, maybe when she calls me she gets the same impression of me feeling obligated.

    It's so sad that he's an alcoholic, he must be trying to suppress the INTJ functions which can be very hard on ourselves. T_T

    I hope you two can keep finding common ground because it sounds like you both care for each other!

  6. #15
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by xplosive View Post
    haha, my esfp friend never got my intj friend's views at all - it was quite entertaining watching them interact.

    ........................ Lol :p

  7. #16
    ESTP - The Doers


    Do you put the word "YOU" into your sentences with her a lot? I find INTJ's to use that word quite often, and it seems very accusatory.
    Turututu, Zero11 and Myer thanked this post.

  8. #17
    Unknown Personality


    Quote Originally Posted by DJArendee View Post
    Do you put the word "YOU" into your sentences with her a lot? I find INTJ's to use that word quite often, and it seems very accusatory.

    It can be remedied.
    Turututu thanked this post.

  9. #18

    My favorite sister is an INTJ

    She is the person I go to when I am lost about my future. She took me in and helped me get started going to college. But I had to move out because I was very depressed living with her. It wasn’t because we didn’t get along or anything. But she didn’t understand that she was being very hurtful and negative about the things she said. I felt very underestimated all the time.

    She pushed me to pursue what I was interested in but when I did she couldn’t let go of her perception of me as a delinquent/joker/ trouble maker. I majored in business finance and she didn’t take me seriously and proclaimed that I would probably fail because I didn’t seem like the type who would actually be interested in this field.

    To her she was being realistic in her observations about my situation and past, thus giving good advice about what career choices I should make.
    But I felt like she was restricting me too much and not taking into account my feelings about something that I really cared about.
    I love her a lot, and I’m sure she loves me too. But we can’t live together for too long.
    Last edited by Memory of Talon; 03-15-2010 at 11:46 PM.
    Seamaid, Turututu and she kitten thanked this post.

  10. #19
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by DJArendee View Post
    Do you put the word "YOU" into your sentences with her a lot? I find INTJ's to use that word quite often, and it seems very accusatory.
    I rarely speak in front of her since I noticed in my youngest years that she doesn't have a preference for my way of thinking and would prefer it if I was more conventional. So I don't speak to her/in front of her unless it's required or just limit myself to ask questions and listen.

    I've 'accused' her many times, and have used the word "you" when it was the most fitting, but I use the word "we" and "people" when the idea can include me or others.

    Though yeah, with other people I do use the word "You" a lot when talking about an idea, its causes and consequences. I'll have to tone it down. I didn't realize it bothered others since I, myself, never took it personally.

    Thanks for the perspective!

  11. #20
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by talon235 View Post
    My favorite sister is an INTJ

    She is the person I go to when I am lost about my future. She took me in and helped me get started going to college. But I had to move out because I was very depressed living with her. It wasnít because we didnít get along or anything. But she didnít understand that she was being very hurtful and negative about the things she said. I felt very underestimated all the time.

    She pushed me to pursue what I was interested in but when I did she couldnít let go of her perception of me as a delinquent/joker/ trouble maker. I majored in business finance and she didnít take me seriously and proclaimed that I would probably fail because I didnít seem like the type who would actually be interested in this field.

    To her she was being realistic in her observations about my situation and past, thus giving good advice about what career choices I should make.
    But I felt like she was restricting me too much and not taking into account my feelings about something that I really cared about.
    I love her a lot, and Iím sure she loves me too. But we canít live together for too long.
    It sounds a lot like me and my mom. Except, from my perspective, I wasn't underestimating her, just trying to warn her/make her aware of her limitations so she could work on them and surpass them. :/

    Makes me happy to know you hold no hard feelings for your sister though!
    Seamaid thanked this post.


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