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How important are looks for an ESFP in a romantic relationship?

[ESFP] 
14K views 71 replies 23 participants last post by  infpheart 
#1 ·
On a scale from 1 (least important) to 10 (most important), how important are looks for an ESFP in a romantic relationship? specifically for ESFP women, how important are man's looks in a romantic relationship?
 
#7 ·
I don't know. My ESFP friend is married to an INTP, but he isn't what you would call great looking. I suppose his best feature is his eyes, but masculine body? forget it! I think she liked him more for his quirky sense of humour and his mind.
 
#8 ·
Most ESFPs would say 11.

They manage to prioritize looks above all else and still exaggerate about it.

So if you're not born hot, (and let's face it, 95% of looks is genetic and unfixable) find an ISFJ instead.







Only kidding. :wink:


Plastic surgery can fix 30% of someone's ugliness. :happy:
 
#11 ·
Physical appearance... hmmm... never really thought of that all that much. On the other hand, if a guy is a good singer, especially if he has a nice, warm bass voice... well... sigh...
 
#16 ·
I guess physical attractiveness goes beyond the visual, so yeah I think it can be just as much about voice, scent, quality of the physical part of the relationship, not only looks.

The looks thing is kinda subjective anyway. An 8 to one person is a 6 to another.
 
#14 ·
Looks are usually the first thing that catches my attention, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are most important.
 
#15 ·
Very very much. Recently in one setting an ESFP who I have been sexually involved with commented on my shoes, my glasses, how my purse matched my fingernails, that I have pretty hazel eyes, that I look healthier, all in about the space of two hours. He also constantly pestered me for phone pics. Lots of them. More more more.

I am an Se aux and my ESFJ friend says I am, quote, shallow, because I care about the physical part of a relationship so much. She, for the record, is shallow about other things.
 
#20 ·
The ESFP I'm seeing is into looks. Mostly HIS looks! He is SO metrosexual. lol

But I think he's more insecure about his own looks than arrogant. He also loves beautiful women, so honestly I'm wondering what he sees in me. Maybe this means that after the initial attraction (doesn't have to be huge), he really looks at the person's personality? Who knows. :p
 
#29 ·
Actually im more attracted to personality. But the apperance helps. I think I have a type when it comes to apperance but not personality. Though it normally funny boys that have blonde hair and a distinct personality. Though brown hair is cool too. Really its just the distinct personality I would never fall in love just for looks alone.
 
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#32 ·
My looks are more important to me than others looks are. Fairly vain in the way I keep myself up and train daily. Mentally I need wit that keeps up. Having someone incredibly symmetrical saying what do you mean? don't be so weird! screwing up their face and acting like a stoned surfer who cannot keep up with my rapid fire humor is hell.

I once enjoyed someones mind and personality so well I told my friends "I'd fuck him if he looked like seth rogen or jonah hill" Normally not so.
 
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#37 ·
All the best with that, I took 3 years to finally settle on my type... with the help of many others of course :)

As for the questions

1)By looks I mean exclusively how they appear superficially. Behaviour and attitude sorta fall into personality (no not MBTI, I mean how they are as a person). I sorta think that beauty is a combination of looks and personality, someone good looking would catch your attention but then you talk to them and realize they've got some really interesting qualities, that's when it hits you in the head. Then you want to get to know them more and all that. That's what I was trying to say earlier.

2)I didn't understand the second question. Were you trying to ask how being womanly affects attraction?
 
#39 ·
Yeah, I was gonna say it's a personal thing. I sorta think that's a stereotype, I'm trying to think what qualities are considered feminine hmmm... I think it's easier if you tell me your version so that I can rate them [Ive written a vistor's message over at your profile :) ]

Overall, I don't think I plan it out so much as to look for very specific qualities in someone, I just sorta react to stuff I notice in someone on the spot. So far, I've liked emotional and situational intelligence, being considerate/caring/understanding, being organized, being interactive/listening/talking (I talk a lot :/ ).

Of all that I think being considerate is probably what I like the most, someone who'd check up on me (not all the time) when I'm struggling with something and offer their help, or someone who'd help me understand things ( I think it also shows intelligence)

I think I also look for new stuff, qualities I've not found before

ugh.. that's all I can think of now, I should take a break... analysing so much is a little irritating.
 
#40 ·
Ahahahah! That's why I was telling you to leave the cute INTJ alone :D he's right your opposite xD he could drive you nuts with introspective analysis based on a full blown logic system in zero time, and if he's truly one even do that while making anybody you included believe it's not happening xD

Let me guess, this neverending talking about others is tiring but interesting in that it gives you a cance to brag about yourself and your tastes. If you could find someone good looking meaning at least almost as good looking as yourself, she was submissive enough to take care for you of anything you find annoying leaving you time to do what you enjoy, she was genuinely laughing at your jokes, not taking things personally and energetic enough to keep you pace, this would be a good start, am I right? Am I wrong? :D
 
#41 ·
LOL, this is a good thread Hahah. This paragraph does have one inaccuracy, regarding the bragging. When I dress up, pretty much
always in style, not like a slob, it comes from my family's side background, not due to my mild esfp trait. As for the latter half of the paragraph. Actually that's not a good start, it's a terrific start. You hooked me in LOL, seriously you made me laugh....but we gotta have fun in public!
Just curious how much of a drain would that be for you, if you did that in public, given as to what you wrote? How many hours could you handle it?
 
#42 ·
You mean how long I could be like that? Lol! I do it all the time for my demanding boyfriend xD I may not be great at not taking things personally, still with him it works :p I trust him enough. Plus INFP life is based on ideals and my ideal of woman is the old styled home lady with a life sparkle from nowadays lifestyle, exactly what I described above ;)
 
#43 ·
I'm back... ... err, so all that was to drive home your point? :( :( Soooo not fair!

Now I feel like a guinea pig lol... Why do I get a feeling that you're pretty good with this stuff? The neverending talking about my preferences is tiring cause you make me analyze it a lot, I can only do so much ya know. It's interesting cause hmm.. you're curious of me so that motivates me to say more, hmm ... I thought I was helping you in some way.... hmm , and cause I'm nice! :p I'm not sure if bragging is a factor cause I've spoken on my negative stuff as well on here.... oh! one of the main reasons I dig is so that I can present myself to others so that they can help me figure myself out (outsourcing the analysis of sorts).

and *grins* yeah, that's a good start but I prefer normal over submissive/dominant (ha! you're wrong there :p) but seriously though, how'd you know? I'm really curious now.

P.S. This is sorta like a repeat of history, I use to think I was an NT type till I spoke to one and got brain raped :( The difference in their approach is fascinating. Also, how'd you know if the INTJ is cute? hmm :p
 
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