[ESFP] What's turns an ESFP.... ON?

What's turns an ESFP.... ON?

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This is a discussion on What's turns an ESFP.... ON? within the ESFP Forum - The Performers forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; Alright... we know what turns you off. What about on ? Obviously I'm interested in female ESFP's only, but I ...

  1. #1
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    What's turns an ESFP.... ON?

    Alright... we know what turns you off. What about on? Obviously I'm interested in female ESFP's only, but I have a feeling everyone is going to jump in with their 2 cents.

    Anyway, let's hear it!

    The girl I'm thinking of seemed to be really feisty, so being the stubborn ISTJ that I am, I gave it right back to her. We bantered a little bit, but now she has stopped texting me altogether. Haven't heard from her in a few days, and she didn't respond to my last text. Did I do something wrong? ESFP's can't take what they dish out? *rolls eyes*
    armika_armika thanked this post.



  2. #2
    ESFP - The Performers

    Quote Originally Posted by NARCO View Post
    Alright... we know what turns you off. What about on? Obviously I'm interested in female ESFP's only,
    looks like your discriminatory policy didn't work for ya LOL

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    very little esfp experience here. but here's my stab at it: she's afraid of rejection, and since she's so outgoing, she assumes everyone else is very outgoing, too. she was scared of misreading your interest level, so she wanted you to escalate. you didn't, so she assumed you were just being friendly so she moved on, as esfps are able to do pretty quickly.

    they CAN take it, just as long as it's not too mean, they're emotionally sensitive even if they don't show it. never ignore her :) hard to get doesn't work with an esfp.. it backfires :)

    anyone else?
    SoftBoiledLife and armika_armika thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    lol bozo you asshole, i love it. *shakes your hand*
    Fat Bozo thanked this post.

  6. #5
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    I'm also somewhat curious about ESFPs.

  7. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    ESFPs can never take what they dish out. They have one of the lowest self-awareness I have seen (it would differ from person to person of course, but the ESFPs I have come across dont seem to have it). Even if they are being very cruel to you, in their own eyes they are the sweetest and most charming people alive, so when you are stern with them, they can't understand what happened and probably end up thinking you are a jerk for being rude.
    Some of them are also control freaks and don't like to be around people who are too stiff or who would not let them have their way. Their entire philosophy centers around fun, and anything that blocks that needs to go.
    As to what turns them on - flattery, adulation, gifts, lot of fun and trips together. Also if you can laugh at their jokes even if bad :) (most of them believe they have a great sense of humor)
    Seamaid, Seamaid, Seamaid and 21 others thanked this post.

  8. #7
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    Especially laughing for their jokes turns them on :D

  9. #8
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by NARCO View Post
    Alright... we know what turns you off. What about on? Obviously I'm interested in female ESFP's only, but I have a feeling everyone is going to jump in with their 2 cents.

    Anyway, let's hear it!

    The girl I'm thinking of seemed to be really feisty, so being the stubborn ISTJ that I am, I gave it right back to her. We bantered a little bit, but now she has stopped texting me altogether. Haven't heard from her in a few days, and she didn't respond to my last text. Did I do something wrong? ESFP's can't take what they dish out? *rolls eyes*
    I don't think you did something wrong. Granted, ESFP can dish it out and if they are stressed or if you plow on an insecurity, they may not be able to take it well.

    Yes we can be feisty.

    Her silence may be entirely unrelated. I know for me, I get swept up in what captivates me now, and if it leaves my present environment, it's less likely on my mind. That's true even of people in my life that I find interesting or close friends. Sometimes I wish that weren't the case... but I'm highly highly tuned to the present moment.

    If she stopped talking to you, it might mean you stepped on a sore spot, and it might just mean she got caught up in the moment as it's presenting itself today. You could send something light-hearted and playful, and if she still finds you interesting you will have your answer. I respond to the people who interest me and to the people I feel bonded with.

    @zeth006 We are somewhat curious about you too!
    Seamaid and Esh thanked this post.

  10. #9
    Unknown Personality

    What turns me on. What doesn't? No seriously, ha, plenty is a turn-off too. More fun to talk about the turn-ons!

    Playfulness, responsiveness, light-heartedness. Sometimes I'm turned on by the unique and unusual and new, other times by the predictable and reliable and mainstream. I have to admit I do enjoy novelty, but in some ways I really enjoy and covet predictability and consistency.

    I'm a bit random, and wacky, and practical, and optimistic, and not always consistent (which I am working on, and which is the possible-downside to my general ability to embrace life as it comes), and I'm turned on by someone admiring me for all these things, and by courtesy, and by win/win values, and sensing not just that I have freedom to be spastically caring open bouncy enthusiastic me, but that I am actually appreciated for it.

    If I work hard at something, I'm turned on by recognition. A lot of people don't know how hard I try to be punctual (I usually am, in fact, but that does not mean 15 minutes early!), or to bend myself to work better in calendar time, or to focus on the facts in a linear fashion when I can tell the person I'm talking to will prefer it, or planning and scheduling, and some kind of casual recognition when I am making an effort is nice.

    Same for commitment. Whether the commitment is something small like instantly agreeing to meet at a specific day and time well in advance with firm language to confirm it, or something bigger like committing for a relationship... Autonomy is huge in my personality, so commitment isn't taken lightly, and if I do commit, I'm all in about it. And it doesn't always come easy even when I'm confident about the decision.

    (I'm also all-in about it at that moment in time. If it matters to me, I'll set things up to make sure my choice will remain my choice when that moment in the future arrives, but I'm not perfect. I wish I were naturally better at keeping track of specific dates and future plans, because it hurts me so much when I don't come through for someone I care about. If I agree to plans a month from now and I accidentally flake on you, I'm really sorry, and I'm beating myself up about it as soon as I realize this happened, and a little understanding goes a long way in that situation, because my failure to fit myself into calendar time on that particular instance doesn't necessarily communicate anything about how much I value a person, and it sucks when that is how someone takes this. I would usually not make the plans in the first place if I didn't value that person and want them in my life.)

    I enjoy a lot of different activities, and if there is something to the activity with novelty and if I enjoy connecting with whoever is involved, I'm good. That means dinner and a movie is fine if it's a restaurant I haven't been to or I try a new dish.

    If I don't ever seem bored with you, that is a very good sign, because I do get bored easily. But it is still good for you if I am not finding a reason to end our contact. If I am bored enough, I will find a polite way to just bow out.

    I like strong character. I like autonomy, and I like to be shown that I am appreciated for my wackyness (acceptance). As for autonomy, I will move toward a person more easily and quickly if I don't feel obligated to move toward them, so I do better with someone who either has a lot happening in their own life, or who is more introverted as then they will probably not have a high enough social need for it to feel obligatory.

    I really love the follow-up stuff, where someone shows me they were listening to me talk previously, asking about whatever I had talked about that was upcoming. I think I like this so much because it requires so much effort to file those things away and bring them up myself. (So it is a serious sign of appreciating a person I do this for.)

    I am turned on by seeing someone respond the way I want them to. I am also turned on by warm arms to hold me, not feeling pressure to fill silence, respect, signs of care and generosity. I love simple pleasures and the joy of simplicity generally.

    ESFP appreciates little actions done for us more often than grand gestures that happen rarely... But bear in mind being Sensors, some kind of obvious hint may be in order for us to realize the thing you did is supposed to be a positive gesture toward us.

    ESFP appreciates attention, some more than others, but I for one have a natural rebelliousness when it comes to clingy attention, barring a few exceptions. Of course, if I appreciate the person, I'm likely to want more attention from them and want to pay more attention myself.

    I'm turned on by solidity and that sort of thing too. I dig ISTJ for this reason, and others.

    Oh, and I will add that I cannot speak for others with this type so in spite of some of my wording this is just how I would answer the OP question. I hear I'm more genuine and less showy than others of this type. A more showy ESFP might like the grand gestures, the big romantic displays. Can't say I would DISLIKE that, but I'd rather someone just be around me, and be fun to be around, and not too much effort to maintain the relationship.
    annemarie, Seamaid, theo and 2 others thanked this post.

  11. #10
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    What would be some typical habits/mannerisms of an ESFP? I know this is a broad question, but I'd be curious to know if I've run into any at my school.


     
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