I had a crush on a ESFP in college. She was always nice, affirming, very charming, well spoken, eloquent, friendly, upbeat, quick witted, had a good sense of humor and inviting. I was always happy to see her, as she brightened up my day every time I saw her and was always encouraging to me if she saw I needed help. I haven't seen her in over six months, since she graduated, but I really enjoy her company every time I see her at reunions. She is very responsible with children and fun with kids, which I find adorable.I'm brand new here - and am an ESFP female who has two very dear INFP friends. One male and one female. They have strengths that I lack and vice-versa. We tend to work well togther - esp the female. The male and I have problems at times. The female loves me for who I am - the male has different feelings for me (and I for him) and he seems to want to make me become him. I think it must be a male dominate thing. My husband was ISFJ and he spent most of my lifetime trying to make me become him. Which is partly why I finally left him.
As to your ESFP female - we tend to be very sensitive - especially to criticism. And you sound very disaproving of her. It would be very difficult to trust someone who doesn't like who we are. We live in the moment - which is one of our strengths. You seem to see it only as something to dislike. INFP live in the present and the future - which should be what you have to offer the relationship. She takes care of the day-to-day right now things - you take care of the future.
I love to sleep - when I can - seldom getting more than 5 or 6 hours a night. I work one full-time job, several self-employed jobs - and volunteer for numerous community service organizations. I work my ass off - and then do absolutely nothing to re-charge my batteries.
Some ESFPs are irresponsible - others are very dependable. We love to make people laugh and will do whatever we can to lighten up a situation - we hate conflict of any kind. But, don't dismiss us as light weights. Idealists and Rationals tend to look down their noses at Artisans.
You sound like this is what you are doing to this female who interests you. Why would she trust you if that's how you feel about her?
And yes, we do tend to look at the practicle aspects of any project. One ENFP was planning an event in our very small community - 500 people. She wanted it to be HUGE - the Rose Bowl. She was terrifying - since I'd worked other events with her - allowing her to do the planning while I did the actual work. After a year of this I became the nay-sayer. After four years I walked away from the organization - everyone else did too one by one - she wore us all out - used us all up.
Dreams are wonderful. But, eventually reality has to be factored into the equation. You don't start with the Rose Bowl in a small town - you start small and build up to it. Idealists - in my experience - see where they want to be and want to be there NOW. We see the work it will take to get there. And maybe we aren't willing to do that work.
My INFP female friend will tell me her dreams. Because I learned about MBTI 6 years ago I now understand about different types. I am my friends biggest cheerleader. She calls me her affirming friend. She never hears a negative word from me - until she steps away from the world of dreams and into the world of reality and asks me to tell her the steps to get where she wants to go. She doesn't ask the question if she doesn't want the answer. ; )
ESFP hear everything as the immediate - not realizing that some things aren't meant to happen for years and years - we think you want it done today - right now - and that can scare the heck out of us at times.
Does your ESFP friend know about MBTI? And is she willing to learn to work within the needs of other types. Can she allow you to dream - as long as you both understand it's only a dream? Are you willing to listen to the logical steps to get where you want to be and to be honest about the difficulty?
And maybe she just doesn't want to go where you want to lead.