[ESFP] Ways to catch an ESFP's attention and not annoy him?

Ways to catch an ESFP's attention and not annoy him?

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This is a discussion on Ways to catch an ESFP's attention and not annoy him? within the ESFP Forum - The Performers forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; I'm on this quest to try and 'woo the man' pretty much as long as I don't have to change ...

  1. #1

    Ways to catch an ESFP's attention and not annoy him?

    I'm on this quest to try and 'woo the man' pretty much as long as I don't have to change my own personality for it. I like him a lot and I'm not going to force him in to a serious relationship if he doesn't want it but I don't really know how to catch his attention since the people in my class are usually very assertive and loud and I sometimes even get ignored.

    I've tried my best to be more open about myself and show him more of my personality than I usually would, I've helped him with homework and general stuff and tried to be a little more outgoing when talking to him, so that along with letting him talk me in to going to a party and dancing (not slow dancing obviously) was quite challenging for me since I'm one of the last people to try and loosen up around crowds as a natural ISFJ. (would and ESFP even catch on that I did it for him if he was told a while ago that I was afraid of crowds?) But it was worth it because he seemed to be enjoying it, not that he isn't up beat about everything else too.

    I want to do more things that would make him happy, so I thought I'd turn to other fellow ESFPs for advice and suggestions on what I could do.



  2. #2
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by mrgreendots View Post
    I'm on this quest to try and 'woo the man' pretty much as long as I don't have to change my own personality for it. I like him a lot and I'm not going to force him in to a serious relationship if he doesn't want it but I don't really know how to catch his attention since the people in my class are usually very assertive and loud and I sometimes even get ignored.

    I've tried my best to be more open about myself and show him more of my personality than I usually would, I've helped him with homework and general stuff and tried to be a little more outgoing when talking to him, so that along with letting him talk me in to going to a party and dancing (not slow dancing obviously) was quite challenging for me since I'm one of the last people to try and loosen up around crowds as a natural ISFJ. (would and ESFP even catch on that I did it for him if he was told a while ago that I was afraid of crowds?) But it was worth it because he seemed to be enjoying it, not that he isn't up beat about everything else too.

    I want to do more things that would make him happy, so I thought I'd turn to other fellow ESFPs for advice and suggestions on what I could do.
    "(would and ESFP even catch on that I did it for him if he was told a while ago that I was afraid of crowds?)"
    My guess is probably not, unless you link those for him at some point. We have to know to watch for little things to connect in many cases or we don't connect them, if there's a lot of time between the two.

    For things that would make him happy, that's going to largely depend on what he's interested in. Find out and find out if there's an event of some sort related to it. Then mention that you're planning to go to the event. I can't promise he'll ask you out for it, or even invite himself, but you will probably be closer to your goal.

    Might also do a few small things to show him you're not just interested in being a friend. Something as small as finding a casual way to ask about his dating life will clue him in.

    Between being ESFP and being a man ( kidding boards, kidding around), you might have to get pretty direct with your signs. I'm not unintelligent but being such a high Se user I can seem that way to folks who are better at catching hints. I'm direct so I generally watch for directness.

    But asking about his dating life at an appropriate moment, smelling nice, laughing at his jokes and maybe touching his arm in a playful way, that stuff may help you.

  3. #3

    Talk to him and give him attention. I tend to notice more so the quiet girls amongst a group of many more assertive people. He probably knows your the quiet type who's afraid of crowds since you told him and I assume that if he danced with you that he's read you quite extensively.

    I'm not sure about all the others here, but I don't just dance with just any girl. I tend to pick and choose those I want to be around. Flirt with him, and spend a lot of time with him.
    Seamaid thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ESFP - The Performers

    Laugh at his jokes, smile and look into his eyes. Just consider it an audition.
    DB
    n2freedom thanked this post.

  6. #5
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by talon235 View Post

    I'm not sure about all the others here, but I don't just dance with just any girl. I tend to pick and choose those I want to be around. Flirt with him, and spend a lot of time with him.
    Not a guy but I'm selective about who I spend time with also. I'm friendly with almost everyone but I reserve free time for the people I genuinely want to be with.
    Seamaid thanked this post.

  7. #6
  8. #7
    Unknown Personality

    My advice for you, like with most things, is to just be honest about your feelings. Maybe even just ask him on a date. You're never, ever getting a straight answer otherwise, unless he suddenly decides he'd like to ask you out and does it.


     

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