This is a discussion on Attention ESFP Women: Can an INTJ woo an ESFP and if so how? within the ESFP Forum - The Performers forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; Originally Posted by Kayness you think I don't get sarcasm? INTJs think everyone aside from people who act like them ...
I'm an ENTJ (pretty similar to INTJ) and I don't think it would work. While opposites attract, they don't stay together. My last best friend (of 15 years) and last girlfriend (of 3 months) were ESFP's. While I found how they operate to be very interesting, they failed to stimulate me intellectually in the long term. I loved spending time with them in small doses but they aren't people I would want to spend a six hour car ride with.
It could work, we're all people and all work in the same basic way, but they're very different.
I hated an INTJ I knew (then again he was really warped, he emotionally bullied people) and he hated me. I've also found the extrovert thing to be an issue. While I'm quite good at doing my own thing, I'll get sad if the other person doesn't contact me. It'd be alot of effort for you and for her I think (she'd have to tone down alot).
works, I've been 6 years in a relationship with a ESFP and it's great, she's happier than me, she lifts me up when I'm down and supports me, she admires me a lot as I admire her for exactly the opposite things. At the beggining was very difficult but once we learned to accept each other it went smooth... We obviously still argue sometimes but less and less as she acknowledge that she can't win an argument with me with reasons and I can't win against her when she puts the "feelings" factor on the table, so we learned to get along and benefits oursevles from the highlights of eachother. It works, I promise :)
Last edited by Luciano; 02-24-2012 at 02:43 AM. Reason: misspellings :(
After ending a bad relationship, I've learned so much about the sort of person that would make a perfect match.
That person would be an ESFP!
Not emotionally demanding, they have a good mood by themselves, and since they have the same cognitive functions as INTJ in reverse order, they make a perfect complement.
Of course you can, just be yourself as cliche as it sounds. If you're open to new experiences and need a mood lift every so often we can be excellent mates. And ignore any associated stereotypes for either types. I know someone who is a confirmed INTJ and we get along fabulously so I don't see what the big deal is.
Be considerate of other people, just be a nice person! Be up to doing things with her, as crazy as they might be, or at least seem enthusiastic about them. Makes sure she knows you actually listen to what she has to say and takes her seriously when she wants to be taken seriously. But I agree with KuRoMi, don't try to be something you're not. Most ESFPs I know are adaptable and dig anyone who they can enjoy themselves with or be themselves around, and how can they show their true self if the other person doesn't?
Well, I had an INTJ boyfriend and my ESFP friend couldn't stand him :) He was too much of a philosopher for her....