Want to sleep, but decided to have this issue asked before sinking under this tiny mind of mine. Please notify me of any grammatical mistakes.
I have this two ESTJs in my life (suspected), and let's just say that their values and mine aren't exactly compatible. One is my father, and another is one of my close friend. They are smart, assertive, caring, and know what they're talking about -- but a lot of times they breached people's defense line one times too many. Their values are too..different, compared to mine. (and for details or comparison, theirs are more in synch with the masses while mine aren't that much, but I digress.)
Now the problem : we tend to clash over idealisms, way of living, and values.
Sometimes it's important issue (just had a..debate of some sort with my father several hours ago concerning driving and safety and assertiveness, or a long-lasting debate over choice of college and why, or a debate-slash-interrogation about my friend's relationship), but at times it's small, yet deeply personal issues; issues as small as fashion style, standing position, and taste of music. It's as if, anything beside their own ideals, beliefs, and values, which have been proven right by their own experiences, are the most correct and must be followed by everyone else. It doesn't ring well with an INFJ's belief of personal growth >_>;;
Personally,what irritates me most is that, the way they're talking, they claimed it's "simply telling MY perspective", but went angry or pissed off if the respective person doesn't follow what they said, even if they have necessary arguments orthe ESTJ's own arguments are questioned. Or even if the other person (in this case, myself) simply told their own perspective and ideas (that aren't hitting with their own). Or even if that other person had said that their actions hurt them and are being seen as offending and breaching within their personal values.
ESTJs care about people they loved; that is widely known. Everyone has a chance to express their opinion, that's also understandable. And I won't make this topic if I don't care at least a little about them, but sometimes don't they realize that people have individuality? </whine>
My question is; anyone know how to nicely told ESTJs that "Let's just agree to disagree and follow on nicely with our lives, shall we?" ? Have you ever been on similar conflict, in a direct opposition against an ESTJ's ideal and/or values (or to ESTJs, to others)? How does that end?
(On a side note, I noticed that both of them, when pressed, reveal their basic motive / feelings; while me myself tend to reveal it first and went freezing and all cold, hard logic when pressed; exactly the opposite. Is this an ESTJ thing?)