ESTJ Communication Style

ESTJ Communication Style

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This is a discussion on ESTJ Communication Style within the ESTJ Forum - The Guardians forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; "Communication Style: ESTJs readily express their opinions and converse with decisiveness and authority. They like brevity and succinctness and typically ...

  1. #1
    ESTJ - The Guardians

    ESTJ Communication Style

    "Communication Style: ESTJs readily express their opinions and converse with decisiveness and authority. They like brevity and succinctness and typically do not engage in small talk. They speak of practical aspects, of reaching deadlines and accomplishing goals. ESTJs persuade others by using tangible facts, which are presented in an orderly, logical manner. This is also how they are persuaded."

    The above is an interesting description that I found on the Paladin Associates web page. Now, from the sound of this it seems like the ESTJs aren't very sociable people; they do not engage in talks for the sake of socializing. Do you agree with the above quote? Do you find yourself mislabeled as an introvert sometimes because of this communication style?

  2. #2

    I have to agree with this statement. I have ESTJ classmates and they do tend to hate senseless conversations. They usually want discussions that will enlighten their views. I do sometimes mislabel them as an introvert, however, they tend to like to speak out when they are in a conversation that interest them which to visualizes their extrovert personality.

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality

    I find that small talk can be extremely tedious if I'm talking to someone who has something I want. It's also irritating in social settings to have to engage in small talk before getting to the real meat of the conversation. If it were up to me, I'd do without it entirely.

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  5. #4

    Ha, I'd show up for the meat, and abruptly leave after the end of the meat.

  6. #5

    L P thanked this post.

  7. #6

    I think that introverted sensing plays a lot into my communicating with ESTJs, or even ISTJs. I can usually pick up on this style of communication: there is usually steps/evidence/facts chronologically leading up to a point. Sometimes I tend to rush to a conclusion without rationale, and this makes communication between myself and Si-users a little difficult.
    Sela and L P thanked this post.

  8. #7

    I can deal with 'small talk' up to a point and have learned how to be charming when the situation calls for it. But love it when I meet someone who just jumps in and starts talking about some crazy idea or thing they did as if they've known me forever. I will happily talk about absolutely anything and everything with that type of person and met one of my now best friends on a train this way!

    I've never been mistaken for an introvert. Although I do need a bit of time alone, even if it's just to switch off and do my own thing while other people are in the same room. But generally I can get on and find something to talk about with most people.

    I'd say the only time I'm not chatty is if someone hurts me and I'm in 'protection mode'. When I met my partner, I fell in love almost immediately, but he was and is a total introvert and gave the impression that he didn't like me back and was interested in another girl. So, feeling rejected, I was my usual bubbly self to everyone else in our group, but almost entirely ignored him. To the point that he thought I really disliked him. Luckily, a mutual friend fixed things between us and we've been together almost 9 years now. But I can be quite distant and introverted with people out of self preservation.

    The other ESTJs I know are the same. We can fall in love hard and if that person doesn't feel the same or is already taken, then we back off completely in order to protect ourselves. I imagine an ESTJ who goes through something more extreme (abuse or similar) could be like that with everyone they meet. I think I've met one of those types in the past at college. She was a typical ESTJ until her partner abused her, then she became very withdrawn for a couple of years, then after therapy she switched back again. So life events can affect how people behave.
    L P thanked this post.


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