This is a discussion on LOL would ESTP date INFP long term? within the ESTP Forum - The Doers forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; .000001% chance...
Just weighing in on the activity part of stuff
Out of my two kids: My eldest is ENFJ (so same functions) and my INFP (no same top functions)
My INFP and I prefer more of similar interests in some platforms (depending)
I am actually more in the middle of their extreme contrast as sisters (oddly despite their contrast in personality they are extremely close).
-Anyways ways me and INFP are more similar-
-We are not nearly as commercial in our material goods as my ENFJ is
-We both will watch something like GOT or WD (I suspect it attracts people with higher Ne & Se equally for different reasons)
-My INFP loves to actually tinker and assemble new stuff (would guess her Ne at play here, and she loves robotics), I actually do not really care one way or the other. But she loves loves loves learning and projects whether itís baking, cooking, assembly, art, experiments
-Uh my INFP is completely oblivious with regard to mainstream pop culture, which her ENFJ sis Will jab at, I understand and am aware of it I just dismiss its relevance or any long term interest in passing trends.
-My INFP is far more excited and willing to go on an adventure (for my ENFJ itís always based on showmanship and posturing around the most people and which social event). Where as I like the stimulus and my INFP likes the discovery.
Ummmmm omg INFP children are that child that has 100 questions which I donít know the answer to (lol)
But I am always impressed by her brain even wondering half of these things
Anyways truth be told her and I have a more similar disposition, I believe our enneagrams are likely very similar.
She is way more of an adult than me when it comes use of her tert Si and to reminders of speed limit and appointments
I pretty much cannot stand when she has a debate about something as she is using inferior Te extremely under developed as she is a child and itís obnoxious. Because I am naturally a dominant person in like physicality and presence in a room (and her ENFJ sis) her immaturity makes her want to expose us for our flaws and shortcomings and put us on blast in a way that us as her mother or sister and also Fe users would not do to her ever to assert anything. This is probably her least desirable trait IMO. I speak to her about not gaslighting at our flaws, but instead finding strength within herself.
Because she lacks Ti it can take a good hour if I allowed it for her to make the simplest of decisions just in a purchase on selecting gum flavors um so this is where I drive her nuts because I at some point tell her even if it means flipping a fucken coin the show must go on and I do not appreciate inheriting my wrinkles at cash registers. Fuck I feel like Rip Van Winkle when I shop with her. Like please make it stop. So probably do not ask an ESTP to venture with you into a store or for shopping unless youíre certain you already know confidently what youíre there for unless you would like to provoke our restless syndrome
As a baby my INFP got the name koala from me. Because despite my being a more push a birdie from a nest to fly person she remained very deeply attached. This was before I knew about MBTI. I was totally afraid she would be weak if I enabled it, but haven taken some psychology courses in college I was equally scared of her having attachment issues if I pushed her independent too soon. Anyways she was the most challenging for me to confront myself and my approach in terms of taking myself outside my comfort zone and armor and finding a middle ground to both nurture her needs and yet force her outside her own comfort zone and find confidence in her world without her guardians (parents and siblings). No I never forced her to be me. But if she would have it her way I would still order her damn food for her. I make her go and care for her own needs I just provide her security I am there with her. (Truth he told opposite problem with her older ENFJ sis who has acted like a damn politician and event planner since aged two, lol I mean at least my INFP is not trying to enlist me as her chauffeur (Uh no I donít do on demand).
But this is my child I speak of. So I have a huge influence in guiding. What youíre discussing is romance. I just see tons of potential conflict which could come into play. But I do think if the enneagrams are closer and the two have a mutual understanding and grow together they could be extremely close in a way which is appreciation and respect for what the other lacks in many ways.
My daughter loves me and understands me but she is usually confused by my gruffer exterior all though to be honest she is probably the most understanding of what can trigger me and leaves me be. But I am her mom. She sees for all my flaws I still offer her unconditional love and also accept her shortcomings and also help her grow, she forces me to grow being my daughter, but I have a feeling an INFP could find themselves at odds with an ESTP and grow resentful in a romantic relationship as there is no unconditional love fostered in such an arrangement which require either to give themselves to that kind of opposing understanding outside a parent child relationship. But hey anything is possible but I am a total cynic that itís an ideal match in most cases.
Last edited by Sensational; 03-19-2019 at 01:36 PM.
and yes....I'm sorry it takes me an hour to figure out which gum flavor I want! What if the one I want is more expensive? Or what if I get it and its a waste of money? Or what if the aspartame gives me cancer? XD So many options!!! ahhhhhhhhhh! LOL
I donno, I guess as a possible (INFP/ENFP/INTP/INFJ or whatever the hell I am...) I find ESTPs very exciting. I like how they are not stuck or confined by stupid shit and they get stuff done. I like their ambitious and exploratory nature. and they are not the type to break down and cry over spilt milk. I like being around people who can get back on their feet and go back in for round 2 when shit hits the fan. Or someone who doesn't mind doing something different and new all the time. I might not be as cool as an ESTP, but I do agree with their way of thinking...Whenever I get stuck on something...I just ask...what would and ESTP do?
What types of people do the ESTPs like being around?
No for me, despite three attempts but the love remains forever from my side for my ESTP ex.
-ENTPs are great to discuss with (using actual arguments or using persuasion just for fun)
-ISTPs and INTPs are great to get them into your projects and have a certainty of them not fucking up
-ISTJs are the best sidekicks, they have a problem you tell them the solution and they actually have a brain
-ESFPs are great for drinking
-and ESTPs are the best competitors out there. On par with ISTPs though
Still I can be around anyone who isn't annoying (and I tend to be annoying in certain situations but hey). I hate the ones who think they have the moral high ground and the openly arrogant ones "who just tell you the truth" (and the "truth" here is often some esoteric BS). The two types mentioned here are often the same person, who would have guessed right?
@TOPIC - look good and don't be annoying and we'll date ya INFPs
Just got out of a 5 year relationship with an INFP, communication was initially something we had to work on. INFPs can be so meaning seeking/nuance seeking that they can create a lot of narrative that isn't necessarily true. It took her awhile to realize that my direct nature, and clean/non-messy brain were actually a thing. I think she spent a lot of time pondering what was "really" going on with me, because accepting the simplicity was hard for her. I was always surprised by how bothered by things she could get, she took most things personally (because of this fights on her end would often get cruel, I keep things more tied to whats going on/don't make leaps).
It ended really amicably, I like to think that we outgrew each other and realized we just weren't a good fit. I'm not bothered by the "wasting time" of the whole thing, because we truly did have some great times. We don't keep in touch, but I hope she's doing well.
It was kind of a doomed pairing anyways 3w4-5-8 sp/sx ESTP with a cp 6w7-8-3 sx/so INFP, but hey man I had a good time.
considering i'm married to one, yea
I have been dating an INFP for quite a while :) There are certain challenges, but we actually make a very good and complementary match.