[ESTP] ESTP male and E/INFP female

ESTP male and E/INFP female

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Page 1 of 8 1 2 3 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 78
Thank Tree150Thanks

This is a discussion on ESTP male and E/INFP female within the ESTP Forum - The Doers forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; (sorry for bad spelling; I'm in tears) Dont really know what to say, except... I'm hurting right now. Posting this ...

  1. #1
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    ESTP male and E/INFP female

    (sorry for bad spelling; I'm in tears)


    Dont really know what to say, except... I'm hurting right now.

    Posting this in both ENFP , ESTP and INFP forums as I'm sorta both ENFP/INFP, depending on... Idontknow. I'd like to know all opinions.

    Any words of wisdom, experience, or simply knowledge about types will help - esp when it comes to fights.

    I just found out I'm gluten-intolerant, so I cant even eat the ice cream I want.

    Just at a time in my life that so much is happening, he's not there. And then he complains that I am always negative when we talk, and it's like... well then dont wait for ME to call all the fricking time.

    Sorry if none of this makes sense. Just want to understand "us" from a type-persepective. I dont understand how someone can hang up on me repeatedly, simply because they think I'm lying (I wasnt but explained myself badly, clearly). I thought hanging up is what you do when someone cheats on you. I dont understand how he can walk off and just ignore me when I'm PLEADING and practically losing it as he rejects every Skype call (I'm abroad on a trip) and switches his phone off.

    Isn't it childish to hang up on someone? What are GOOD reasons to do so?



    -----------------------------------------------------------




    An excerpt, for those who care to read :( DISCLAIMER : You dont need to read to respond. Also, to those who DO read - imagine that I'd done everything wrong in the relationship - is the treatment below ok then? If so, I'll stay. I've been a horrible gf - and I know he reacts cos of that, but he had already given me an emotional beating before this, and then when i said somthing he thought was a lie, he flipped):

    6/23/11 1:16:12 AM] Zubi: do u not understand how painful it is when ur telling the truth
    [6/23/11 1:16:16 AM] Zubi: and someones callin u names
    [6/23/11 1:16:19 AM] Zubi: hurting u
    [6/23/11 1:16:20 AM] Zubi: judging u
    [6/23/11 1:16:25 AM] Zubi: n ur begging them
    [6/23/11 1:16:26 AM] Vegito: learn what judging means
    [6/23/11 1:16:30 AM] Vegito: if a girl sucks a million dicks
    [6/23/11 1:16:33 AM] Vegito: and people call her a whore
    [6/23/11 1:16:37 AM] Vegito: thats not exactly judging
    [6/23/11 1:16:50 AM] Zubi: so cos the reasons werent good enough for u
    [6/23/11 1:16:52 AM] Zubi: i was lying
    [6/23/11 1:16:55 AM] Zubi: thats judging jason
    [6/23/11 1:17:01 AM] Vegito: no because you were LYING
    [6/23/11 1:17:02 AM] Vegito: it was a lie
    [6/23/11 1:17:14 AM] Zubi: it wasnt!
    [6/23/11 1:17:29 AM] Zubi: its not fair that the only way ul listen and be nice to me is if i give up telling the truth
    [6/23/11 1:17:33 AM] Zubi: and lie to u that ur right
    [6/23/11 1:17:36 AM] Zubi: and that i was lying
    [6/23/11 1:17:39 AM] Zubi: thats SO UNFAIR
    [6/23/11 1:18:10 AM] Vegito: so you said "i decided not to torture myself" because it had to do with what we were talking about before i said brb restroom
    [6/23/11 1:18:13 AM] Zubi: i feel like i have to cut WHO I AM to make u happy. you dont want to accept the truth as truth - THATS UNFAIR.
    [6/23/11 1:18:15 AM] Vegito: and NOT because i said brb restroom
    [6/23/11 1:18:16 AM] Zubi: YES!!!
    [6/23/11 1:18:17 AM] Vegito: that makles
    [6/23/11 1:18:18 AM] Vegito: NO
    [6/23/11 1:18:19 AM] Zubi: it was
    [6/23/11 1:18:20 AM] Vegito: SENSE
    [6/23/11 1:18:20 AM] Zubi: BOTH
    [6/23/11 1:18:20 AM] Vegito: FUCKING
    [6/23/11 1:18:22 AM] Vegito: NO
    [6/23/11 1:18:23 AM] Vegito: SENSE
    [6/23/11 1:18:35 AM] Vegito: thats like saying i went to the baseball game to stub my toe
    [6/23/11 1:18:40 AM] Zubi: im sorry it doesnt make sense to u :( i dnt know how it doesnt :(
    [6/23/11 1:18:46 AM] Zubi: stop the mtaphors
    [6/23/11 1:18:49 AM] Vegito: no it doesn't make sense in ENGLISH
    [6/23/11 1:18:52 AM] Zubi: tlk about THIS issue
    [6/23/11 1:18:56 AM] Vegito: or any fucking language
    [6/23/11 1:18:58 AM] Zubi: yes it does
    [6/23/11 1:19:01 AM] Zubi: if ud hear me out
    [6/23/11 1:19:02 AM] Vegito: no it doesn't
    [6/23/11 1:19:11 AM] Vegito: its as nonsensical as saying the baseball metaphor
    [6/23/11 1:19:27 AM] Zubi: and not treat me so badly by hanging up :( ud have realised that ur being unnecessarily hurtful when im INNOCENT right now. this is so unfair!!
    [6/23/11 1:20:11 AM] Zubi: u make a quick judgment and REFUSE TO HEAR ANYTHING i want to say to explain how ur wrong. if u are conifdent that ur right, why are u running away from a conversation.
    [6/23/11 1:20:22 AM] Zubi: :( is it that u just WANT to think badly of me :(
    [6/23/11 1:20:30 AM] Vegito: no thats whats funny
    [6/23/11 1:20:33 AM] Vegito: i HEARD you out
    [6/23/11 1:20:33 AM] Zubi: cos right now ur FORCING me into admitting something thats FALSE
    [6/23/11 1:20:36 AM] Vegito: and what you said
    [6/23/11 1:20:39 AM] Vegito: was dribble
    [6/23/11 1:20:40 AM] Vegito: and bullshit
    [6/23/11 1:20:40 AM] Zubi: in order for me to get u to be nice to me
    [6/23/11 1:20:46 AM] Vegito: THEN i hung up when you decided to stick by it
    [6/23/11 1:20:51 AM] Vegito: so you can stop making up your bullshit lies
    [6/23/11 1:20:53 AM] Zubi: exactly
    [6/23/11 1:20:57 AM] Vegito: but thats all melissa fucking does
    [6/23/11 1:20:58 AM] Vegito: is lie
    [6/23/11 1:21:00 AM] Vegito: then defend it
    [6/23/11 1:21:02 AM] Vegito: im going to sleep
    [6/23/11 1:21:02 AM] Zubi: why didnt u think - hey! what if they arene lies?
    [6/23/11 1:21:04 AM] Vegito: lie to someone else
    [6/23/11 1:21:08 AM] Zubi: im not lying!!
    [6/23/11 1:21:09 AM] Zubi: pls!!
    [6/23/11 1:21:10 AM] Vegito: i dont care if you feel less close to me right now
    [6/23/11 1:21:13 AM] Vegito: im going to sleep
    [6/23/11 1:21:16 AM] Zubi: pls dont go
    [6/23/11 1:21:19 AM] Zubi: il do anything
    [6/23/11 1:21:19 AM] Vegito: im going
    [6/23/11 1:21:21 AM] Zubi: il lie
    [6/23/11 1:21:22 AM] Vegito: no
    [6/23/11 1:21:22 AM] Vegito: you lost your chance
    [6/23/11 1:21:24 AM] Zubi: and "admit"
    [6/23/11 1:21:24 AM] Vegito: you wont
    [6/23/11 1:21:25 AM] Zubi: pls
    [6/23/11 1:21:26 AM] Vegito: see
    [6/23/11 1:21:27 AM] Vegito: right there
    [6/23/11 1:21:29 AM] Zubi: pls
    [6/23/11 1:21:31 AM] Zubi: il do anything
    [6/23/11 1:21:31 AM] Vegito: you already cant do it
    [6/23/11 1:21:33 AM] Vegito: so you lied about that too
    [6/23/11 1:21:35 AM] Zubi: no matter how degrading
    [6/23/11 1:21:36 AM] Zubi: pls
    [6/23/11 1:21:37 AM] Vegito: chronic lair much
    [6/23/11 1:21:45 AM] Zubi: lied abt what :(
    [6/23/11 1:21:56 AM] Zubi: lied abt what
    [6/23/11 1:22:01 AM] Zubi: jason!
    [6/23/11 1:22:02 AM] Vegito: okay you'll do anything?
    [6/23/11 1:22:04 AM] Vegito: stop talkign to me
    [6/23/11 1:22:04 AM] Zubi: pls dont
    [6/23/11 1:22:06 AM] Zubi: yes!
    [6/23/11 1:22:09 AM] Vegito: simple
    [6/23/11 1:22:16 AM] Zubi: no il do anything for u to make up with me NOW!
    [6/23/11 1:22:23 AM] Vegito: you lie too much
    [6/23/11 1:22:23 AM] Vegito: but i dont care to
    [6/23/11 1:22:31 AM] Zubi: but im not lying
    [6/23/11 1:22:33 AM] Zubi: pls believe me
    [6/23/11 1:22:34 AM] Vegito: and dont give a rats ass about anyone but yourself
    [6/23/11 1:22:37 AM] Zubi: i swear on everything
    [6/23/11 1:22:41 AM] Zubi: on our entire relationship
    [6/23/11 1:22:43 AM] Zubi: im not lying
    [6/23/11 1:22:46 AM] Vegito: thats pathetic
    [6/23/11 1:22:58 AM] Zubi: its so hard for me. iv said tonnes of sorrys and elaborated
    [6/23/11 1:23:03 AM] Zubi: i got one line of sorry
    [6/23/11 1:23:11 AM] Zubi: iv been giving and giving this arhument
    [6/23/11 1:23:16 AM] Vegito: shut up
    [6/23/11 1:23:18 AM] Vegito: about whatever the fuck
    [6/23/11 1:23:20 AM] Zubi: and now im being called al iar when im not LYING
    [6/23/11 1:23:27 AM] Vegito: you're going on about right now
    [6/23/11 1:23:32 AM] Vegito: and stick to the fact that you're a goddamn liar
    [6/23/11 1:23:32 AM] Zubi: pls let me call u
    [6/23/11 1:23:34 AM] Vegito: no
    [6/23/11 1:23:36 AM] Vegito: absolutely no
    [6/23/11 1:23:38 AM] Zubi: stop treating me so badly
    [6/23/11 1:23:42 AM] Vegito: stop acting so badly
    [6/23/11 1:23:45 AM] Zubi: theres no excuse for how ur treating me
    [6/23/11 1:23:54 AM] Zubi: if its cos u think im a lair
    [6/23/11 1:23:55 AM] Vegito: and theres no excuse for you to continually lie to my face
    [6/23/11 1:23:58 AM] Vegito: you want this to stop?
    [6/23/11 1:24:02 AM] Vegito: stop talking to me
    [6/23/11 1:24:05 AM] Zubi: then u shudnt date me. u cant sit on the fence!
    [6/23/11 1:24:07 AM] Zubi: i cant!
    [6/23/11 1:24:07 AM] Vegito: i know you're a liar
    [6/23/11 1:24:09 AM] Vegito: you lie constantly
    [6/23/11 1:24:12 AM] Vegito: then tell me later
    [6/23/11 1:24:15 AM] Vegito: and tell me not to judge you
    [6/23/11 1:24:22 AM] Zubi: constantly
    [6/23/11 1:24:23 AM] Vegito: you're a goddamn liar
    [6/23/11 1:24:35 AM] Zubi: or tell u random lies
    [6/23/11 1:24:40 AM] Zubi: n then admit them
    [6/23/11 1:24:57 AM] Zubi: how can u be so cruel
    and then he hung up...



  2. #2
    ESTJ - The Guardians

    He made you cry didn't he? Dump his sorry ass.

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Yozuki Ri View Post
    He made you cry didn't he? Dump his sorry ass.

    But what if I hurt him too and hes not able to cry?

    His walking off; is that an ESTP thing? Hanging up, not really being too affected by my pain?

  4. Remove Advertisements
    PersonalityCafe.com
    Advertisements
     

  5. #4
    ESTJ - The Guardians

    Quote Originally Posted by imagined View Post
    But what if I hurt him too and hes not able to cry?

    His walking off; is that an ESTP thing? Hanging up, not really being too affected by my pain?
    This asshole of a boyfriend stinks. Why don't you find a flower to date?
    Minesweeper Queen and imaginelovecreate thanked this post.

  6. #5
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Thank you for making me laugh :)

  7. #6
    ESTP - The Doers

    ESTP or no ESTP that dude sounds like a prick. Dump his sorry ass, I know you're xNFP and all but forget about other people's feelings for once and focus on your own.

    I didn't read the whole conversation but do you really wanna be with someone who accuses you of lying, who won't listen to what you have to say and who you feel that you have to change who you are in order to make him happy?

    It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me so I'd suggest you get out of it asap.

    EDIT: and btw, you're giving him the upper-hand here. You're "allowing" him to do such things to you by letting him walk all over you. You're begging and pleading and that gives him control over you.

  8. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by themartyparade View Post
    ESTP or no ESTP that dude sounds like a prick. Dump his sorry ass, I know you're xNFP and all but forget about other people's feelings for once and focus on your own.

    I didn't read the whole conversation but do you really wanna be with someone who accuses you of lying, who won't listen to what you have to say and who you feel that you have to change who you are in order to make him happy?

    It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me so I'd suggest you get out of it asap.

    EDIT: and btw, you're giving him the upper-hand here. You're "allowing" him to do such things to you by letting him walk all over you. You're begging and pleading and that gives him control over you.
    I was thinking the same thing but didn't want to hurt her. Real men don't treat women that way, regardless of type.

  9. #8
    ENTP - The Visionaries


    @themartyparade

    Uhm, guys. Actually if you read the extra convo she pasted in the ENFP forum you might have a deeper understanding of the situation.

    I think it's a communication's thing.

    That guy sounds like he cares about her too much and wants out cause she is inadvertently making him feel like shit.

    I don't know what the lying stuff is but I noticed the OP is constantly talking about how he is hurting her. It is possible he views this as emotional manipulation and her using his Fe against him.

    I'd guess, and I might be wrong, a Fi will want to talk about feelings a lot. And an ESTP guy with half-way developed Fe will feel responsible for her happiness. That comes after his values and stuff, but still comes into play. And when she is constantly talking about how he is hurting her every time he says something, he'll feel bad, he'll think she is doing it on purpose and will lash out.

    She is basically saying "Take responsibility for my feelings. You can't control them, I cry all the time and you are to blame. Bad boy!"

    What do you think? This is just a guess and I'd like to hear your opinion if you think I am wrong. I am curious.



    Quote Originally Posted by imagined View Post

    [6/23/11 12:57:23 AM] Vegito: cat typed o_o
    [6/23/11 12:57:30 AM] Zubi: ?
    [6/23/11 12:58:26 AM] Vegito: dont worry about it
    [6/23/11 12:58:33 AM] Vegito: found rogue on the keyboard pressing keys
    [6/23/11 12:58:38 AM] Vegito: thought you might've thought i was here
    [6/23/11 12:58:39 AM] Zubi: oh
    [6/23/11 12:58:42 AM] Zubi: no
    [6/23/11 12:58:54 AM] Zubi: when i saw brb i decided not to torture myself
    [6/23/11 12:59:01 AM] Zubi: so i opened my browser
    [6/23/11 12:59:29 AM] Vegito: okay...
    [6/23/11 1:00:05 AM] Vegito: what kinda thing is that to say
    [6/23/11 1:00:10 AM] Zubi: what do u mean
    [6/23/11 1:00:11 AM] Vegito: and what am i supposed to even respond?
    [6/23/11 1:00:18 AM] Zubi: was it bad? :(
    [6/23/11 1:00:26 AM] Zubi: what did i say wong? :(
    [6/23/11 1:01:35 AM] Zubi: jason :(
    [6/23/11 1:01:41 AM] Zubi: what did i do now :(



    [6/23/11 1:11:02 AM] Vegito: im not talking to you for the rest of the night
    [6/23/11 1:11:06 AM] Zubi: u hung up in me again
    [6/23/11 1:11:10 AM] Zubi: why are u dong this
    [6/23/11 1:11:11 AM] Vegito: i cant deal with your constant lieing/ not owning up to things you do
    [6/23/11 1:11:28 AM] Zubi: why r u hurting me so much
    [6/23/11 1:11:30 AM] Zubi: pls stop
    [6/23/11 1:11:32 AM] Zubi: pls
    [6/23/11 1:11:34 AM] Vegito: because you're out of control
    [6/23/11 1:11:34 AM] Zubi: pls
    [6/23/11 1:11:36 AM] Zubi: itsp hysical
    [6/23/11 1:11:37 AM] Zubi: pls
    [6/23/11 1:11:43 AM] Zubi: u only see ur pov
    [6/23/11 1:11:45 AM] Zubi: stop it!
    [6/23/11 1:11:48 AM] Zubi: let me explain!!
    [6/23/11 1:11:50 AM] Vegito: so because you're hurting i have to hurt too !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - mine
    [6/23/11 1:11:52 AM] Vegito: yeah
    [6/23/11 1:11:53 AM] Vegito: no
    [6/23/11 1:11:56 AM] Zubi: stop stomping on me!
    [6/23/11 1:11:57 AM] Vegito: your explainations are shit
    [6/23/11 1:12:02 AM] Zubi: so what?!
    [6/23/11 1:12:05 AM] Vegito: only thing i wanna hear is a sorry
    [6/23/11 1:12:08 AM] Zubi: that doesnt mean u can judge me!
    [6/23/11 1:12:10 AM] Zubi: i SAID SORRY
    [6/23/11 1:12:17 AM] Vegito: like fuck you did
    [6/23/11 1:12:27 AM] Zubi: i SAID I DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE U FEEL BAD
    [6/23/11 1:12:31 AM] Vegito: sorry followed by a bullshit excuse
    [6/23/11 1:12:32 AM] Vegito: and melissa
    [6/23/11 1:12:34 AM] Zubi: that that wasnt my intention
    [6/23/11 1:12:36 AM] Vegito: learn what JUDGING means
    [6/23/11 1:12:40 AM] Vegito: fucking LEARN it
    [6/23/11 1:12:45 AM] Vegito: cuz im not judging you im telling you how you are
    [6/23/11 1:12:48 AM] Vegito: based off of what you're doing
    [6/23/11 1:12:53 AM] Zubi: JUDGING is taking thingst hat happen and applying judgment
    [6/23/11 1:12:54 AM] Vegito: theres NOTHING to judge
    [6/23/11 1:12:57 AM] Vegito: no
    [6/23/11 1:13:01 AM] Zubi: YES
    [6/23/11 1:13:05 AM] Vegito: judging is basing an assumption off of NOTHING
    [6/23/11 1:13:10 AM] Zubi: why are u being so horrid to me
    under skies, Fizz, glisten and 4 others thanked this post.

  10. #9
    Unknown Personality

    I agree with @Istbkleta . He's ENTP, Ne-Ti-Fe-Si and I'm ESTP, Se-Ti-Fe-Ni. I trust his belief that the OP is playing off the of the supposed ESTP's Fe.

    As I mentioned in another thread in this section, I'm currently developing my Fe and I don't think it's wise to mess with someone going through that. A lot of the word choice seems to be playing victim. Even if you as the OP cannot see this, others will, including your supposed ESTP male. He is calling you out on what you have been doing, there is no point in arguing that something "makes sense" when clearly it was misinterpreted. I don't think I even have to explain why that's irrational behavior. I've been told that before and I find it to be irritating, so I don't recommend it.

    It's assumed that since someone is a Thinker that they do not care about others and that they're only purpose is to please themselves. This is a false belief. Clearly if this ESTP is staying with the OP, he does care, but he might be getting to a breaking point where he's unwilling to subject himself to such torment. Emotions are tough thing for ESTPs to handle, I even made a thread about it in this section. For the most part, we're not that expressive with our emotions and it's best not to rush such behavior.

    If you've found my tone to be harsh, that's just life. I'm not here to pad my words with cushioning because that's not my job. I will on occasion soften the words, but I recommend trying harsh reality. It can be a bitch, but so can I. I hope you figure things out, the best of luck.

  11. #10
    ENTP - The Visionaries


    Quote Originally Posted by Fizz View Post
    I trust his belief that the OP is playing off the of the supposed ESTP's Fe.
    I said inadvertantly and because Fi would naturally talk about feelings. It's a communication's issue. It might appear "immoral" to some Fe users, but I do not really think it appears so from her POV.

    But again: this is my guess and I am not sure it is true or not. I would really like to hear people critique it to see if I can properly defend it or should discard it.

    I am suspect the OP has good intentions as good is defined by her own internal understanding. Just we are different and might have different internal understandings of what "good" is.

    Thus it might be a communication's issue and no one's fault, rather a sad ironic chance event where two people try to do good, speak different languages and end up hurting each other.

    Again, I have no idea if my understanding is true or false. I'd really like to hear other people's opinions.

    Thanks @Fizz can you provide a link to your tread so I may read it. Also, are you aware of your emotional state when reading the OP and my comment. I am wondering if your Fe is making you pass an external judgement right now. I am curious to understand people and myself, but I lack objectivity when analyzing myself. Thanks!

    @Fizz

    Thank you. I did not imply in any way you might be feeding off your emotional state or in any way questioned your objectivity. My only desire is to understand what is going on in other people's heads because I do not know what is going on in mine :) So I hope to better understand myself by understanding other people :) I constantly question my own conclusions (see signature) and value outside feedback a lot. I will read your thread to further my understanding of people :) Thanks again. Hope more people, not only ESTPs but also INFJs post here and give us their POV.
    Eye of the Potato thanked this post.


     
Page 1 of 8 1 2 3 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. [INTP] INTP Female and ESTP Male
    By Optimal Lanzar in forum INTP Forum - The Thinkers
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 04-23-2015, 12:14 PM
  2. [INFP] INFP female and ESTP male
    By imaginelovecreate in forum INFP Forum - The Idealists
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-23-2011, 09:22 AM
  3. [ENFP] Male ENFP Female ESTP relationship experience?
    By JimmyD in forum ENFP Forum - The Inspirers
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-19-2011, 12:17 PM
  4. [ESTP] Help! Please! INFp Male Confused Over ESTp Female :(
    By Strife in forum ESTP Forum - The Doers
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 09-07-2010, 07:29 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:08 PM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0