How different personality types let go of someone not worth their effort - Page 2

How different personality types let go of someone not worth their effort

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This is a discussion on How different personality types let go of someone not worth their effort within the General Chat forums, part of the The Cafe Lounge category; Originally Posted by Allersky Everyone's giving similar stories. I think it's safe to assume it's not type-related. Like most others ...

  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by Allersky View Post
    Everyone's giving similar stories. I think it's safe to assume it's not type-related.

    Like most others - once I'm fed up with someone, I'll drop out of their lives. I'm perfectly capable of being polite after this but I won't acknowledge/interact with them if I don't have to. I don't actively set out to hurt them, I'm just apathetic about their existence.
    I would maybe need a confifrom other INFJ’s to be sure that it is type related, but for me even if the door from my side is locked, it. An always be reopened if the other person shows me that he/ she is actually worth the effort

  2. #12

    Quote Originally Posted by Mandy34 View Post
    What I mean is, what if after you give them your feedback, they don’t react to it in anyway. Would you be upset about it? I mean the reason why I never give people I decided to cut off my life any feedback, is because then I would expect the same thing from them as well and if they don’t react, I feel like they never cared in the first place and so, even if I have decided they are not worth the effort I feel awful.
    I think i would be a little upset because they dont care enough to talk it out but in the end if i want to leave ill just leave no matter what they do. I ll mostly feel bad if they dont try to discuss the issue at all because they are stuck in their ways and they dont care for improvement or are too blind to see the problem.

    But if i have decided to leave nah i dont think it matters what they do to show they care. I would have already made an image based on past interactions to see if they care or not. I wont judge that by their last reaction - i know they ll be more emotional then if they cared before.

    If they didnt care then its likely i would have left sooner because of that.

  3. #13

    Quote Originally Posted by SirCanSir View Post
    I think i would be a little upset because they dont care enough to talk it out but in the end if i want to leave ill just leave no matter what they do. I ll mostly feel bad if they dont try to discuss the issue at all because they are stuck in their ways and they dont care for improvement or are too blind to see the problem.

    But if i have decided to leave nah i dont think it matters what they do to show they care. I would have already made an image based on past interactions to see if they care or not. I wont judge that by their last reaction - i know they ll be more emotional then if they cared before.

    If they didnt care then its likely i would have left sooner because of that.
    And what if they did, want to talk it out I mean, would you still go no matter what they say? I mean are you opened to to change your mind, based on the other person’s reaction or once you are done you are never going back.

  4. #14

    Quote Originally Posted by Mandy34 View Post
    And what if they did, want to talk it out I mean, would you still go no matter what they say? I mean are you opened to to change your mind, based on the other person’s reaction or once you are done you are never going back.
    im open to discussion but ill consider going back only if what made me leave is fixed or improved. So they need to understand it and be willing to work with me to get past the issues. Though that depends on the situation of course. If the issue is mine or something else entirely (external factor) and unfixable then no matter what they do or say, it wont change my mind.
    Mandy34 thanked this post.

  5. #15

    I'm too forgiving. However on the flip side... I can hold grudges, or.. its hard to forget things that has happened to me.
    I usually forgive people for a couple or few flaws in their personality or beliefs etc if I really like them (friend, family, lover etc.) But if its life threatening to me or others and you tick too many boxes on my shit list then... I kind of just... avoid you to the best of my ability. But if I have to be in contact with you I'll still be polite, but there will be nothing beyond that, and I probably won't care if I didn't say bye before leaving the building.

    But there are a few traits in people that always put me off especially if they're flaunting it, ie: arrogance, some type of predator.

    PS. I do initiate contact with my friends at times, but when I don't.... don't expect to hear from me until like 6 months later. If I think a friendship isn't going to work or progress any further I just kind of slowly disappear, or just cut people off all of a sudden. Depends? Sometimes I don't talk to somebody for a while too, if I'm trying to figure out where we stand in our relationship, because I don't want to bother them in the meantime, if I mean so little to them.

    Edit:
    I still have people on my facebook who I've met once or twice but don't even really talk to them. But maybe that's just Facebook...
    My old work colleagues. We became close, and good friends, and it seems we're drifting apart now, but I still consider them my close friends because of our previous interactions.... but refer to the 6 month thing above lol. I just can't be bothered talking to people sometimes. Hard for me to focus my attention on more than one or two people at a time. Same with my hobbies etc. So if I've been talking to somebody new and we click, then they're my current buddy, my other friends are still my close friends, but its like, I'm too busy talking to my new friend.... I don't know. Its like when you have obsessions and you keep jumping back and forth between them.
    Last edited by Eroticarmin; 04-07-2019 at 07:28 AM.
    Mandy34 thanked this post.

  6. #16

    Quote Originally Posted by Suntide View Post
    I am much too forgiving and lenient with other people. I also always care about other people more than they care about me. So I never "let go" exactly. Even when other people get over me, I don't get over them. I've never actually kicked anyone out of my life, but I have grown apart from close friends due to the fact that life is ever changing and people grow up and grow apart... and I'm still not over it a decade later lol. I mean I learn to live with it, but I am VERY MUCH an all or nothing sort of person. I give you 100% or I give you 0%, and if you're a 100%, you're my 100% for life, even if I am not for you.
    I'm still not over about not being friends with my childhood friends anymore. Nothing ill between any of us, its just my family had to move thus we grew apart... They were the best man.... nobody else like them again. Good times.. And probably because we were children the experience seemed more... I think I'm saying they were the best friends I had because the interaction was mostly pure. Its different making friends as an adult, and having a childhood friend stay with you in adulthood. But I don't think I really know what its like to have a friend be with you until adulthood because one of my friends, we grew apart as teenagers and now we're only kind of friends again so.... Even though I've known her for all this time I don't feel very close to her. Well I do in a way but... can't explain.
    Suntide thanked this post.

  7. #17

    Quote Originally Posted by Suntide View Post
    I am much too forgiving and lenient with other people. I also always care about other people more than they care about me. So I never "let go" exactly. Even when other people get over me, I don't get over them. I've never actually kicked anyone out of my life, but I have grown apart from close friends due to the fact that life is ever changing and people grow up and grow apart... and I'm still not over it a decade later lol. I mean I learn to live with it, but I am VERY MUCH an all or nothing sort of person. I give you 100% or I give you 0%, and if you're a 100%, you're my 100% for life, even if I am not for you.
    I still have people on my facebook who I've met once or twice but don't even really talk to them. But maybe that's just Facebook...

  8. #18

    Quote Originally Posted by Alfalfa View Post
    But I don't think I really know what its like to have a friend be with you until adulthood because one of my friends, we grew apart as teenagers and now we're only kind of friends again so.... Even though I've known her for all this time I don't feel very close to her. Well I do in a way but... can't explain.
    I can relate, with my best friend growing up, I am not close anymore. I realized I didn’t meant enough to her. We are on good terms and sometimes we get in touch, but it’s notthesamething. I don’t feel it anymore. Butthisiswhat imeant, I realized she wasn’t worth the effort and I quietly disappeared from her life. No hard feelings, but not good ones either.
    Alfalfa thanked this post.


     
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