How different personality types let go of someone not worth their effort

How different personality types let go of someone not worth their effort

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  1. #1

    How different personality types let go of someone not worth their effort

    As an INFJ, if I come to the conclusion that someone is not worth the effort, or my time in general, I quietly disappear from their lives. I’d still answer if they ask some questions, in order to be polite and not hurt anyone’s feelings, but I keep the effort to the minimum. If someone proves to me that they are actually worth it, I am ready to let them back into my life and change the opinion I had of them. How other personality types react in this situation?



  2. #2

    I don't think this'll be tied to type, but to answer as an individual who is an INFP, I'm exactly the same, I just sort of forget that they exist and go and play videogames or something in my now-free-of-that-person life. Though if they were a friend and they've really pissed me off I'll probably kickstart the goodbye with a snarky text or something. When I originally thought I was INFJ I related to the "INFJ doorslam" quite a lot (though I'm pretty sure that isn't INFJ-specific). Though I'm pretty badly guilty of doing that even to people who are worth my time, I just tend to get caught up in a neverending train of things that distract me from all the interpersonal relationships I should be maintaining and completely vanish from peoples' lives as a result, unless they eventually reach out to me again.
    But I suck at holding grudges, if a person I don't like re-enters my life later and they seem to have earnestly changed, I'll give them another shot. But chances are I'll probably disappear again afterwards regardless just from my usual habits.

  3. #3

    This is defenitely not type related but maybe i could see a little more of connection if it was ennea and not MBTI, since enneagram contains more type info around energy levels while MBTI only suggest types based on our preferences when we process info. This is an energy related problem. A more fiery or direct person who is not afraid of confrontations will just fight or talk it out depending on the situation while a more passive one who avoids conflict will just dissapear or something like that. From what you said above you seem more like the passive kind, whether its their feelings you think of or yours you dont want to hurt.

    Well anyway to answer the OP i usually straight out tell them how things are and that my interests lye elsewhere so i need to move on because i cant go on anymore. I find it worse to not explain why you leave someone - leaving them confused trying to understand what actually happened.

  4. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Pizzafari View Post
    I don't think this'll be tied to type, but to answer as an individual who is an INFP, I'm exactly the same, I just sort of forget that they exist and go and play videogames or something in my now-free-of-that-person life. Though if they were a friend and they've really pissed me off I'll probably kickstart the goodbye with a snarky text or something. When I originally thought I was INFJ I related to the "INFJ doorslam" quite a lot (though I'm pretty sure that isn't INFJ-specific). Though I'm pretty badly guilty of doing that even to people who are worth my time, I just tend to get caught up in a neverending train of things that distract me from all the interpersonal relationships I should be maintaining and completely vanish from peoples' lives as a result, unless they eventually reach out to me again.
    But I suck at holding grudges, if a person I don't like re-enters my life later and they seem to have earnestly changed, I'll give them another shot. But chances are I'll probably disappear again afterwards regardless just from my usual habits.

    Yeah I am the same
    Pizzafari thanked this post.

  5. #5

    You are right. I am curious, how do you feel if the person you have given an explanation to is passive and doesn’t answer to you?

  6. #6

    I am much too forgiving and lenient with other people. I also always care about other people more than they care about me. So I never "let go" exactly. Even when other people get over me, I don't get over them. I've never actually kicked anyone out of my life, but I have grown apart from close friends due to the fact that life is ever changing and people grow up and grow apart... and I'm still not over it a decade later lol. I mean I learn to live with it, but I am VERY MUCH an all or nothing sort of person. I give you 100% or I give you 0%, and if you're a 100%, you're my 100% for life, even if I am not for you.
    Alfalfa and Mandy34 thanked this post.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Mandy34 View Post
    You are right. I am curious, how do you feel if the person you have given an explanation to is passive and doesn’t answer to you?
    If im the one who wants to end it? I dont like it but i end it anyway. I made the decision so going back because she would be hurt would only make things worse. My intentions are clear what kind of relationship goes on if one of the 2 involved shows they want to leave it?

    Also i frequently find myself wanting to change people if i see they have some kind of issue so i d rather fill them in and try to propose a solution than keeping silent (im bad at keeping silent when its something that obvious that needs to be voiced out anyway).

    And in the end of the day if its over its over, it doesnt matter what i feel about it, I wont continue something that no longer makes me happy.
    If the issue is with me ill admit it and ill accept any kind of hate. If the issue is with her ill tell her so she will have input to improve.

    It doesnt matter if im hated or not ill just leave after ive said what i judged as important to say.

  8. #8

    The INTJ stereotype is to just cut them off and not give a f---. I definitely fit that stereotype.
    Alfalfa thanked this post.

  9. #9

    Everyone's giving similar stories. I think it's safe to assume it's not type-related.

    Like most others - once I'm fed up with someone, I'll drop out of their lives. I'm perfectly capable of being polite after this but I won't acknowledge/interact with them if I don't have to. I don't actively set out to hurt them, I'm just apathetic about their existence.

  10. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by SirCanSir View Post
    If im the one who wants to end it? I dont like it but i end it anyway. I made the decision so going back because she would be hurt would only make things worse.

    Also i frequently find myself wanting to change people if i see they have some kind of issue so i d rather fill them in and try to propose a solution
    What I mean is, what if after you give them your feedback, they don’t react to it in anyway. Would you be upset about it? I mean the reason why I never give people I decided to cut off my life any feedback, is because then I would expect the same thing from them as well and if they don’t react, I feel like they never cared in the first place and so, even if I have decided they are not worth the effort I feel awful.


     
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