Living Alone, Or Living With People.

Living Alone, Or Living With People.

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This is a discussion on Living Alone, Or Living With People. within the General Chat forums, part of the The Cafe Lounge category; I've noticed now that my whole life I've lived with other people. Either family, roommates, or acquaintances. Now, I've been ...

  1. #1

    Living Alone, Or Living With People.

    I've noticed now that my whole life I've lived with other people. Either family, roommates, or acquaintances. Now, I've been left by myself in these situations plenty and have been absolutely fine. I've also gone long spans without interacting with the people directly around me.

    Recently, events have found me alone for a month. Current roommates are far away and I'm alone in the apartment. The first striking thing is the lake of ambient noise. Everything is quiet besides the animals. The second thing is a lack of energy, or presence, that people have when they exist within a space. I can't feel anything but mine. It feels strange to me because now I'm registering how acutely aware I am of other people around me. Without people around, there is just a blankness of perception.

    My mind is also playing with thoughts of security and safety. I am alone, and if something happens, I am without the safety of someone nearby to assist me. No one is here to notice if something is wrong. Its a slightly intimidating concept for me. Societies safety net exists all around us. If you're driving on a road and you get into an accident, it won't be long for another motorist to see you and aid you. If you're walking down the street and collapse, it is likely that a good Samaritan will help you out.

    In this pocket of solitude, there is a chance that the social safety net could fail. Who would notice if I drank too much or took too strong a dose of medication? Who would notice if I injured myself and was unable to seek help of my own accord. No one would. Not for weeks, because everyone is under the default assumption that I'll be fine. When I go camping, I tell people. If I don't communicate back for a few days after I should have returned, people would become alarmed and take action. But if I don't show up to work for a few days, people will merely assume I just quit.

    With all this being said, I feel I understand better why I prefer to live with people. There is a safety to be found in the company of others. It is not just an emotional safety, but a practical one as well.

    So my question to you, dear reader, is which do you prefer and why; To live alone, or to live with people?
    Promethea, kristle and 007phantom thanked this post.



  2. #2

    I feel that human beings are born social creatures...and the experiences that shaped you as a child determine if you enjoy being around people or being a loner. Your always being shaped so if one decade you like to be around others the next you may get tired of it.

    I like being alone more than being around people...it gives me time to reset and do my own thing without the feeling of being judged.

    The games we play silently between each other can often be too much. I like to be alone but I don't want to live my life like that. If I have good people around me that care for me and my interests why would I not want to include them in my journey?

  3. #3

    I don't know what it's like to live alone, and it would be really interesting to.... No. I long for it. So badly

  4. #4

    I share a condo with an ESTJ. God help me.
    kristle, sonicdrink, WickedQueen and 1 others thanked this post.

  5. #5

    What a perfectly timed post. I've been thinking about this a lot lately with my husband deployed and a house to myself. I've always loved living with him. However, being alone has been absolutely marvelous.

    I'm truly enjoying the solitude. Being alone is such a low pressure way to live. I don't have to think about what I'm doing or how it will appear to another person. It's complete freedom. Being courteous to a roommate does not come natural to me. I want to be decent to people I'm around, but it's a ton of work. So when I'm alone and don't have to worry about that, it's a huge relief.

    The irony is as soon as family learn you're alone they all drop by for extended visits, lol. It's awful.

    Being around people is a lot of work, even those I'm close to and love. I feel like I have so many obligations looming. There's always that feeling of being watched and needing to be careful. I just naturally desire to be hidden and safe.

    For me, the relief of being away from people outweighs the potential safety risks of living alone.

    @ OP I really loved reading an extrovert's view on this. It was fascinating.
    Noliah and Hosker thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by GrimlocK View Post
    I feel that human beings are born social creatures...and the experiences that shaped you as a child determine if you enjoy being around people or being a loner. Your always being shaped so if one decade you like to be around others the next you may get tired of it.

    I like being alone more than being around people...it gives me time to reset and do my own thing without the feeling of being judged.

    The games we play silently between each other can often be too much. I like to be alone but I don't want to live my life like that. If I have good people around me that care for me and my interests why would I not want to include them in my journey?
    I agree, although speaking for myself, I wouldn't say that I like being alone more than I like being with people.....I feel I need to be alone a great deal of the time and I'm sure the mental refreshment I experience while I am alone makes me a better person to be around when I am with other people.

    Here's an article I keep up in my Bookmarks. I've sent it to a few well-meaning extrovert friends.

    Caring for Your Introvert - Magazine - The Atlantic

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by kristle View Post
    What a perfectly timed post. I've been thinking about this a lot lately with my husband deployed and a house to myself. I've always loved living with him. However, being alone has been absolutely marvelous.

    I'm truly enjoying the solitude. Being alone is such a low pressure way to live. I don't have to think about what I'm doing or how it will appear to another person. It's complete freedom. Being courteous to a roommate does not come natural to me. I want to be decent to people I'm around, but it's a ton of work. So when I'm alone and don't have to worry about that, it's a huge relief.

    The irony is as soon as family learn you're alone they all drop by for extended visits, lol. It's awful.

    Being around people is a lot of work, even those I'm close to and love. I feel like I have so many obligations looming. There's always that feeling of being watched and needing to be careful. I just naturally desire to be hidden and safe.

    For me, the relief of being away from people outweighs the potential safety risks of living alone.

    @ OP I really loved reading an extrovert's view on this. It was fascinating.
    i think this is how i feel as well. though it's been over 11 years since i've lived alone, and i think if i did it now, i might freak out a little bit emotionally. but then i think i would prefer it. :)

  8. #8

    kristle - what enneagram type are you? do you know? just curious. :)

  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by orphansparrow View Post
    kristle - what enneagram type are you? do you know? just curious. :)
    So sorry, but after a lot of reading I decided the enneagram stuff just wasn't for me. Can't help ya there >.<

  10. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by kristle View Post
    So sorry, but after a lot of reading I decided the enneagram stuff just wasn't for me. Can't help ya there >.<
    oh really? darn. hehe, alright. it's my very favorite, and i just always want to know. :)


     
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