Valuing Tribal Connections Over Interpersonal Connections

Valuing Tribal Connections Over Interpersonal Connections

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This is a discussion on Valuing Tribal Connections Over Interpersonal Connections within the General Psychology forums, part of the Topics of Interest category; I want to hear from people who have experienced this first-hand or have details about someone who has experienced it ...

  1. #1

    Valuing Tribal Connections Over Interpersonal Connections

    I want to hear from people who have experienced this first-hand or have details about someone who has experienced it first-hand. I'm not looking for discussion of this from an outsiders' perspectives, so please don't derail the thread.

    Do you find that you care about family (especially extended family) and tribal connections a lot more than intimate connections (friends and significant other)?

    By "tribal" connections I mean a social group that is close-knit because the members are significantly interdependent for their survival (in contrast to, for example, a married couple who first decide to become a unit and then decide to support each other).

    It could be a group of poor roommates who willingly share a lot of time and resources to make sure that they all keep their shared apartment, a commune, a deployed military unit, or an actual ethnic group that has some collectivist ways (some type of function that exists at least partially outside of the strongly individualist mode of Western/capitalist culture).

    And I'm including families (blood relatives) that function similarly, in contrast to families in which, for example, it's considered normal or even healthy for kids to get kicked out once they reach 18, people stop speaking to each other, the parents get isolated in care homes in old age, cousins/grandparents are unimportant, the parents only provide for children because it's "their job," etc.

    If you've read the book Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging, it may give you an idea of what I'm talking about.

    I would like to hear what it's like for you to have this value, any problems it has caused, and how you deal/dealt with them. Possible issues include lack of interest in dating, finding the concept of friendship shallow, feeling fundamentally socially unrooted/disconnected in a way that friends/offspring/SOs can't satisfy, alienation from individualist cultures, leaning too much on family/friends/spouse because other social outlets are missing, and not feeling understood by people who are socially satisfied with a significant other, immediate family, friends. acquaintances, and/or colleagues.
    Last edited by Saiyed En Sabah Nur; 11-19-2018 at 11:19 PM.




 

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