An extrovert who envies introverts

An extrovert who envies introverts

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Results 1 to 7 of 7
Thank Tree27Thanks
  • 9 Post By Emancipation
  • 7 Post By BenjiMac
  • 3 Post By TricoFeathers
  • 2 Post By Helendleof Loc
  • 2 Post By Marvin the Dendroid
  • 3 Post By Emancipation
  • 1 Post By X A N A

This is a discussion on An extrovert who envies introverts within the General Psychology forums, part of the Topics of Interest category; Posting this in hopes of seeing other extroverts who relate/introverts who didn't know this was a two way street. I'm ...

  1. #1

    An extrovert who envies introverts

    Posting this in hopes of seeing other extroverts who relate/introverts who didn't know this was a two way street.

    I'm a very extroverted person and I LOVE sharing with other people. I get a kick out of watching shows with other people, dancing with other people and sharing favorite tracks, discussing life experiences, greeting strangers on the other street, joking around with customer service at stores I'm a regular at etc. Whenever I find a person who responds well to me and vice versa, it's SUCH a thrill.

    But I have a horrible fear of being annoying/people not getting me so I repress this side of myself as much as I can. The moment I see somebody isn't ACTUALLY interested in me and is only faking it, I close off and turn the attention to them. The moment one of my friends doesn't enthusiastically respond to my messages, I avoid messaging them first. The moment somebody doesn't respond to my friendliness, I temper myself and become cold. I wish I never tried to get to know these people.

    People disappoint me so often that I wish that I was somebody who could spend more time alone. Who could enjoy things without sharing them with other people and didn't need human interaction to feel fulfilled. I've worked so hard on cultivating this type of independence that other people often view me as a hyper-introverted person who thinks other people are annoyances. Um, no. When you criticize me for not "opening up to you" it's because when I tried to, you were so disinterested that I ended up feeling like shit and stopped trying. In reality, I'm always looking for people who care and who I care about too.

    I also work really, really hard on finding things that I find fun to do when I'm all alone and I'm SO jealous of introverts to whom this comes naturally. People who can spend hours alone doing nothing but playing their favorite single player games/working on their art/doing other hobbies and don't rely on anyone else are my heroes.

    Honestly, you introverted folk don't know how lucky you are.
    Gurndl, TricoFeathers, Unsainted and 6 others thanked this post.



  2. #2

    I didn't give you enough credit when I opened this thread, OP. Here I was, expecting yet another thread about how introverts are all troubled, effortlessly cool and enigmatic musical geniuses or whatever and you subvert my expectations with a well considered post.

    Unfortunately, we can't change who we are but it does sound, from your post at least, that you are growing as an individual and that's always to be commended. It sounds like you are starting to find some balance in your life, which is good - and the fact you even take the time to ask yourself if you're maybe being too full-on or annoying suggests you're probably less of both those things than you may accuse yourself of being and that act alone marks you out as healthier and better rounded than most people.

    Living in the world is a negotiation and you're negotiating with yourself and others - just try to remember the grass isn't always greener on the other side and many, MANY introverts would love to be naturally extroverted. Every individual and every type of person has strengths and weaknesses after all and it sounds like you've been feeling those weaknesses - but the time will come where that flips and you'll be glad of your natural inclinations.

    If you can avoid idealising the other, that's already the first big step to feeling better about stuff.

  3. #3

    There are pros and cons to both sides. Introverts are much like extroverts in that when we do open up to others it's with the hope that we might be accepted, understood, or at least met with genuine comraderie for a while. The I or E doesn't matter, most people don't like fakes or superficial, one-sided interactions. And most introverts do rely on other people to an extent, some more than others of course.

    You are right about the spending a lot of time alone and being comfortable about it, I think. It's something that I personally relish anyway, and get annoyed when it's interrupted, even if I'm usually fairly amiable. I've been with two extroverts who just couldn't understand the pleasure I got from quiet, regardless of what my activity was. The people I've always been most comfortable with were those whose company I could enjoy even when not a single word passed between us. Souls communicate with energy what words cannot.

    That said, I do envy you extroverts that draw energy from being with others. It's difficult to describe exactly what I see or the exact effect it has on me, but even the more abrasive extroverted types stir admiration. Interpersonal cohesiveness, it's so powerful, and comes so much easier for you. It's worth embracing if that is your strength.
    Sensational, Helendleof Loc and Emancipation thanked this post.

  4. #4

    I do feel pretty fortunate that I can spend so much time alone and not be bothered by it. I think I could honestly live as a hermit for the rest of my life stuck in my room playing games without seeing anyone ever again and be moreorless content with it. But even us introverts do start to feel lonely eventually, since we are social animals after all.

    I have that same fear of being annoying though, pretty severely. When I am around people I'm mega suppressed in the way that I am because of that fear of being weird or annoying if I let myself off the chain and the result is that I think I can come across as disinterested in the people around me which really isn't true at all, I just don't know how I'm supposed to behave, and I have terrible social skills so I don't know how to talk to people. And when I really want someone in my life I can become really clingy and suffocating, which makes me feel awful when I reflect on it. The only real difference is that I'm energised by spending time alone and I get tired if I spend too much time around people.

    I'm happy enough being an introvert but there's a lot about extroverts I really do envy. I wish I could have more fun when I'm out socialising, and I wish I could be a bigger source of fun for the people I'm with, but I can be a bit of a party pooper without meaning to and I always feel terrible about it. And I wish so much that I was better at talking to people! It's quite easy for us introverts to feel a lot of anxiety towards the world in general, and it can lead to us missing out on a lot of things in life that you extroverts are able to jump right into. I think it's easier for extroverts to have a life they'd consider fulfilling than it is for introverts, but then I've never experienced extroversion so I could be way off the mark.
    Sensational and Emancipation thanked this post.

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Emancipation View Post
    Honestly, you introverted folk don't know how lucky you are.
    Some of us do

    * hug *
    Emancipation and TricoFeathers thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by Marvin the Dendroid View Post
    Some of us do

    * hug *
    you cunt keep that energy!!!

    Honestly, thanks for the great responses you guys. You are all amazing.

    You are definitively right that there are benefits to drawing energy from other people, and thank you for reminding me of that that. In fact, I haven't been working out very extensively at all for the longest time, but the moment I saw the motivational threads on this site's fitness forum I was honestly shook and felt so motivated because people like me (MBTI geeks) were going through the same process of getting more physically active! This includes your post there, Trico. Seeing other people who are on the same journey as me motivated me to pump up my work out routine.

    I guess that the key to mastering extroversion is surrounding yourself by good folk and avoiding all negative social influences, eh? :)

    Quote Originally Posted by TricoFeathers View Post
    The people I've always been most comfortable with were those whose company I could enjoy even when not a single word passed between us. Souls communicate with energy what words cannot.
    Honestly, that's so beautiful. I get that, for sure... as long as there's some chatter before and after.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pizzafari View Post
    I have that same fear of being annoying though, pretty severely. When I am around people I'm mega suppressed in the way that I am because of that fear of being weird or annoying if I let myself off the chain and the result is that I think I can come across as disinterested in the people around me which really isn't true at all, I just don't know how I'm supposed to behave, and I have terrible social skills so I don't know how to talk to people.
    Don't you even DARE everrr feel weird or annoying, because if you were thinking that way while writing this - I wouldn't get to read your great insight. You're iconic. The most important thing to remember is that you're just a human being who has the best intentions - so whenever you embarrass while trying to make friends, remember that you did it out of a yearning for human intimacy, not because you wanted to bother them. The risk of humiliating yourself in front of someone is insignificant when you consider the possible reward of earning a new friend in the process!

  7. #7

    Im so glad we got along now! Lol. I am a bit of an ambivert though. It all really depends on what we talk about to keep me engaged. I am also quite a multi-tasker when I am online.
    Emancipation thanked this post.


     

Similar Threads

  1. Who stands out more, Introverts or Extroverts
    By MakeItRain in forum Myers Briggs Forum
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 11-02-2018, 05:04 PM
  2. [ENFP] Can you change from an extrovert to an introvert after trauma? or ennegram change?
    By chickydoda in forum ENFP Forum - The Inspirers
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 10-01-2018, 01:42 PM
  3. An Sx dom, an Sp dom, and an So dom walk into a bar
    By Saiyed En Sabah Nur in forum Enneagram Personality Theory Forum
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-23-2018, 06:23 PM
  4. [ENFP] Farewell and Envies (WARNING - Apparently 'toxic' post!)
    By niloy in forum ENFP Forum - The Inspirers
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 03-24-2015, 07:07 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:14 AM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0