Are Spiritual Awakenings Actually Psychotic Episode's? - Page 4

Are Spiritual Awakenings Actually Psychotic Episode's?

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This is a discussion on Are Spiritual Awakenings Actually Psychotic Episode's? within the General Psychology forums, part of the Topics of Interest category; As someone who has had a full blown psychotic episode 6 months ago I can tell you that a psychosis ...

  1. #31

    As someone who has had a full blown psychotic episode 6 months ago I can tell you that a psychosis is as scary as fuck. It is by a long distance the scariest thing I have ever experienced.

    I've also had spiritual & paranormal experiences like being visited by angels, aliens. I experienced feelings of extreme bliss & connection, recieved healings from higher beings and I have travelled to different lives and also different planets.

    I tink that the same areas of the brain are active because both in a spiritual experience & in a psychosis you experience things that fall outside of the usual. In both cases your consciousness is expanded beyond what it would normally observe & experience.

    For me the similarities stop there though. During psychosis I felt like an out of control train that was speeding towards a cliff and yeah I repeatedly fell of that cliff. It is a haunting experience to have hallucinations fueled by fear.....I had visual, auditory and bodily hallucinations (My body felt like it was slowly decomposing.....it felt like dying).

    I held very weird and fearful beliefs about my environment, I thought I was stuck in Hell because I read the abbrevation HELL on something. Also I believed that I was a messenger of the Messiah and had to convince doctors I was sane or else they would comdemn me to the darkness of hell forever. Stuff like that....

    A spiritual awakening can also be scary in a way, but it is fueled by love. It is more likely to feel bliss, warmth/heat (kundalini) and a sense of extreme connection with anything and everything. A psychosis is in my experience quite the opposite......

    But hey..in this universe of duality one can say.....where there is light there is darkness....
    AnneM thanked this post.

  2. #32

    Quote Originally Posted by yippy nr 2 View Post
    A spiritual awakening can also be scary in a way, but it is fueled by love. It is more likely to feel bliss, warmth/heat (kundalini) and a sense of extreme connection with anything and everything. A psychosis is in my experience quite the opposite...…
    In my experience it was both. I had a bodily hallucination too, only it was the strongest feeling of warmth in my chest. Like I had an invisible shield in place protecting my heart. Almost as if it was like - "okay, you're about to see some crazy ish, try not to freak out."

    I went to a shaman afterwards who told me that it was a kundalini alignment. I've always been fascinated in this stuff, yet skeptical, so I took it with a grain of salt, but I still couldn't describe what had happened, so it was as good an explanation as anything else.

    It was like the universe was trying to present me with some darker spiritual truths about universal love, connection and attachment in a carnivorous, incestuous, murderous world, but in the most positive way possible, and through humorous comedy central shows (where names had been changed and stuff - I couldn't fast forward, rewind, or record either, and there weren't any commercials... though I know I was in fact awake because I sent and received some messages at that time).

    I had this conviction beforehand where I kept scribbling "I am Eve" on a piece of paper, and it was like I *got* solipsism. On a deep and profound level that I can't really describe through words. Yes we are all one, but we are all separate too. Or else what is keeping everyone around me from being a hallucination as well?

  3. #33

    Quote Originally Posted by Veggie View Post
    In my experience it was both. I had a bodily hallucination too, only it was the strongest feeling of warmth in my chest. Like I had an invisible shield in place protecting my heart. Almost as if it was like - "okay, you're about to see some crazy ish, try not to freak out."
    I felt an intense heat surging through my body, burning it from the inside. Perhaps it was energy, perhaps not. Because everything was so bizarre and insane I have no idea what reality is anymore and certainly not what 'reality' was during the psychosis.

    I went to a shaman afterwards who told me that it was a kundalini alignment. I've always been fascinated in this stuff, yet skeptical, so I took it with a grain of salt, but I still couldn't describe what had happened, so it was as good an explanation as anything else.
    That would be the spiritual explanation yes and it is as valid as any other. There is never one truth and all perspective are a truth.

    For me it felt like dying.....an ego death kinda vibe. Like you I've experienced kundalini alignment and that felt insane too, the heat in my body was unbearable, but never during the alignment I was so afraid or hallucinating like I did during psychosis.

    It was like the universe was trying to present me with some darker spiritual truths about universal love and connection in a carnivorous, murderous world, but in the most positive way possible, and through humorous comedy central shows (where names had been changed and stuff - I couldn't fast forward, rewind, or record either, and there weren't any commercials... though I know I was in fact awake because I sent and received some messages at that time).
    Would you say you met shadow sides of yourself during the experience?

    I had this conviction beforehand where I kept scribbling "I am Eve" on a piece of paper, and it was like I *got* solipsism. On a deep and profound level that I can't really describe through words. Yes we are all one, but we are all separate too. Or else what is keeping everyone around me from being a hallucination as well?
    Because we exist in multiple dimensions at the same time it also means that all the 'truths' of those dimensions apply at the same time. So yeah oneness is true, but also the separateness of our 3D existence is true. Which also makes them both illusions depending from which dimensional viewpoint your watching.

    Concerning your last question........what is real? What is an hallucination? After my psychosis my pov changed dramatically. Everything is reality, how wacky it might seem, even what others might call a hallucination.
    Veggie thanked this post.

  4. #34

    Quote Originally Posted by yippy nr 2 View Post
    Concerning your last question........what is real? What is an hallucination? After my psychosis my pov changed dramatically. Everything is reality, how wacky it might seem, even what others might call a hallucination.
    Same. I couldn't decide which was crazier - that my mind had somehow managed to create this incredibly realistic hallucination (in which case, uh, is it doing that all the time) - or that someone or ones had literally put these shows together for me and were somehow transmitting them through my television.

    I'd felt... guided to watch them too. I woke up to what I thought was the light being turned on in the hall, and I could hear someone walk downstairs and close the front door. Everyone was sleeping, but I wasn't frightened. I went downstairs and turned on the TV and this memory is a little more vague... but I think it was some program about being welcomed to the afterlife, presented as a game show.
    yippy nr 2 thanked this post.

  5. #35

    Quote Originally Posted by Veggie View Post
    Same. I couldn't decide which was crazier - that my mind had somehow managed to create this incredibly realistic hallucination (in which case, uh, is it doing that all the time) - or that someone or ones had literally put these shows together for me and were somehow transmitting them through my television.
    I can so relate. During my breakdown I saw other people taking over my emotions. So if I was scared, they were scared, if I was sad they started crying too. Instantly! Insane. Like everything was an emotional mirror...

    I'd felt... guided to watch them too. I woke up to what I thought was the light being turned on in the hall, and I could hear someone walk downstairs and close the front door. Everyone was sleeping, but I wasn't frightened. I went downstairs and turned on the TV and this memory is a little more vague... but I think it was some program about being welcomed to the afterlife, presented as a game show.
    So you thought that the game show was purposefully made for you? I believed that people had messages for me and just for me. I was paranoid about missing those messages, could not let that happen.
    AnneM thanked this post.

  6. #36

    Quote Originally Posted by IOI View Post
    @Veggie

    All i ever wanted to do today was to see what was up with our dear little veggie. :)

    And there she was in a positive existencial crises. Thats not that bad at all. Just beware of the direction your giving the outcome of it to take over. No more green n red together luv. Mixing stones with lemonade is heavy, but it doesnt really let us enjoy the drinking experience does it. I should know that best.. :(

    A spiritual awakening to me seems like anything that would open the world to you.

    Bullseye.

    Before there were certain doors in my mind with signs like - "Crazy town: keep out" lol, or that were locked, but now the lights are on and the doors are open.

    How about this: closed till im stable, then open in wisdom but selectively depending on the receivers levels. How does that sound like to ya?

    Is that enlightenment, or is enlightenment actually some definitive spiritual experience achieved in a particular way? And if it is, is a literal break from our physical reality even some sort of requirement in getting there?

    No luv. Thats reason from the 17 levels. You enlarging your heart to express compassion is entrance to love. Welcome, its not a very cool place to be at, but wevstill have time today to get lifted.

    So, enlightment means having the holy spirit listen to you. Literally. That means all the things He did. All.
    Peace is meeting Him inside of us.
    Joy is feeling him approaching
    Love is loving everything. Literally.

    Yes. Enlightment is already spaceless timeless. Yes, enlight is THE requirement of havin the really cool side of existence SLOWLY open to us. But. If you just go from love to peace in a day, the quant leap is so huge, youll literally melt during that experience. Its so smoothly intense one goes crazy out of humbleness it posseses in no time at all. You need joy for dunno, weeks months to endure the first contact. The odd part is, peace newer gets old. Its so clearly the meaning of life when in it you dont want anything else at all. Its a..?? Merge beyond words. When you fall out of that, youll be so grateful you had it even for a few seconds or minutes or days first youll be at love and hust cry out of happiness.

    Enlightment is peace metamorphed into sainthood over sufference. I dont really know about that, but its there in other ppl.

    Anyway, I don't think it's the break that would define a spiritual awakening, even if one were present, but rather it's impact on you.

    Perf correct.

    E:

    Yes. There are three sources on influece. Downstairs upstairs and the myself. Conscious is not us. Its the upstairs. And that that masks as us, will be the downstairs. The us is only the decidionmaker. The options are served.

    E2:

    He is like you, thats why anything
    Lesser wont ever be a match. Ive tried to nag about that but because say im a schizo patient inside closed doors, previosly living as a trailer guy and pretty skinny too almost no one wanted to listen. But whatif i was to be weathy and powerful, maybe theyd then listen. But for the few, neither of those mattered, bc they tested it. And boy werent the happy to knock on that door i was helped to be able to inspire em towards.

    Bc you see. When you have all or nothing. Thats when you realize what truly makes on happy. And another fellow man cant just quite do the job as were not perfect. What we can do tho.. is to support those who are well intentioned on their journey from shame, to love. Bc if you love you can do anything and everything. N if we love long nuff Him, we are literally gonna win whats at the end of our loyality.

    And i can tell this. Money, fame, power, neg power, ego boosts, humans.. underworld. Or anything at all. Real joypeace logically enlight too.. Its like nothing else.

    Now, i have one more msg to clear things out, and ill go clean the mobile swimming pool as theres no one around here to join that form of fun.
    Wow. And you have never once said any of these things to me. I knew they had to be in there somewhere, though. I could sense it.

  7. #37

    Quote Originally Posted by Veggie View Post
    I've come to something similar, in that meaning originates in the heart. But then what when... what it wants goes against what's been deemed morally objective? Are you operating from the illusory self if you deny yourself what the heart wants? Isn't identifying with "good" similar to identifying with "John" ultimately?

    Or are you saying that ultimately you think all of our hearts lead us down the same path and to the same experience of truth if we tap in and listen? Would that still be defined as morality though?

    Interested :) I was someone who cared a lot about moral objectivity and connectivity, so for me, I found freedom in realizing - hey. I really can just make moment to moment decisions without fear. Maybe I'm this archetype one day, this one the next, their morals differ, and... that's fine, depending on my aims and what I've deemed as their worth.
    Why can't I marry you? I really need to hear these things you're saying. I have been in all these places you describe. Right now, I'm really living it. My number everywhere. The TV talking to me. Opening books to very specific pages. Things from journals of up to 10 years ago literally coming to life. Luckily, I have a LOT of joy associated with all these things, so it just makes me happier. That can't be bad, right? To get happier? And not in a manic sort of way?

    I just ask myself. Anne Marie, are you tending to your duties? Taking care of your kids? Your husband? Are you praying?

    Sigh. Most people just have no idea what it's like to be an introverted intuitive.....
    Veggie thanked this post.

  8. #38

    Quote Originally Posted by yippy nr 2 View Post
    So you thought that the game show was purposefully made for you? I believed that people had messages for me and just for me. I was paranoid about missing those messages, could not let that happen.
    It was still a little dream like at that point. It was when shows like Family Guy came on that I started to really wonder okay, wait.. what exactly is happening here? I became very present then. The names (and the quantity of them) they were using in the context that they were using them hit entirely too close to home, as did some strange plots. That's when I realized I couldn't control my DVR and that I hadn't seen any commercials. Then this show by a random group of comedians came on that was like watching a personal dream. It was so random in itself too, and every element seemed to pertain to something that had either just happened to me, was a belief of mine, something special to me, or a fear of mine that I had never taken the time to examine or acknowledge. I felt like they were making fun of me, but at the same time, I'm important enough that these comedians are making anything about my life at all. I had this strange conviction that they had a more famous, connected friend who I had been romantically involved with, who made them come together for me. But I didn't acknowledge them as "them" really.

    You asked about shadows - I felt connected to a trickster, shapeshifting energy, and while I can identify with that to an extent, I've tried to be more transparent. I'm still not sure if I just read entirely too much into a coincidence that did in fact just happen on TV (if there's ego death, it's easier to identify with anything probably), and if there were even a hallucination at all, but what was weird was the DVR and lack of commercials stuff, and the names. Someone also came down to talk to me, as if in a trance, complaining about how she "[couldn't] see, it's too sweet, there's syrup in my eyes" and has no recollection of it.

    I started getting images I couldn't shake internally too - like [someone] collapsing to the ground crying about a family tragedy, and someone sitting in jail in my brain. A couple years later this did happen, and a person also went to jail. In a news story about it, someone said that he looked like the actor I had imagined sitting there in the comments.

    The other stuff made me think a lot about, just... celebrity. How strange it would be to turn on the television, and yes, your life and name are in fact being used. It was like I'd tapped into the frequency of what it was like to be Elvis or something. Ironically I also met and briefly texted with a former writer on Family Guy later. What if in some parallel dimension we did indeed have some romantic relationship where he knew all of my secrets?

    At the time I felt like I'd broken some sort of space time continuum, like I was time traveling or had otherwise been moved, sitting still in my own living room.
    AnneM and yippy nr 2 thanked this post.

  9. #39

    Quote Originally Posted by yippy nr 2 View Post
    I can so relate. During my breakdown I saw other people taking over my emotions. So if I was scared, they were scared, if I was sad they started crying too. Instantly! Insane. Like everything was an emotional mirror...
    Oh, and this! It was more like the opposite. I kept saying that I felt like I was working through emotions that didn't belong to me. Like, that same night, I actually started uncontrollably sobbing, convinced that a friend of mine's ex was trying to speak to me through music. He'd hung himself not too long before that, and my friend was having a really hard time dealing with it.

    Later found out that my friend had checked himself into a psych ward that same night.

    Weirder still though were the emotions that seemed to belong from the future - which was a later realization (because how could I have known at the time), and I'm still not sure what to do with that. I think I've been a little spiritually blocked since, honestly. A part of me wonders if any visions that I had made what happened happen, and it drove me almost crazy for a while.
    yippy nr 2 thanked this post.

  10. #40

    Quote Originally Posted by Aridela View Post
    So, are all paranormal experiences mystical?

    What makes an experience mystical? I wouldn't equate any of my paranormal experiences to enlightenment, just experiences I can't explain with current physics/biology knowledge.
    YES, agreed, partially. I've witnessed many different types of paranormal phenomena in my life, some of the very external variety, like seeing inanimate objects move of their own accord. And many more subjective, like seeming premonitions, and dreaming spectral encounters. While each of their own accord have made me even more curious about the world and my mind, they've never led me to anything I'd call enlightenment, or felt sufficient enough proof to indicate any particular brand of mystical metaphysics was true.

    But, I did have one experience in my 20's that I could call spiritual, and enlightening, but not necessarily enlightenment. I had been on a decades long search for the Truth, with a capital T. And as it often goes with being a searcher, I was also dealing with a lot of heavy things in life. I had an experience and a 'break' where I heard the voice of God speaking in a manner that I can only describe as vibrating my memories, essentially saying, "You're okay." And, I felt a weight lifted off of me from there on out.

    Was it metaphysical, a psychotic episode, or just good old healthy sub-conscious correction? It depends on who you ask, I prefer to say it was sub-conscious, which also is connected to God, in so much that the idea of God (in name or by another name) is part of being human and having a mind. Either way, it was good, I was more well adjusted after that. But, I've yet to attempt to proselytize to the world, gain followers, release a book, or claim that I know much more than I've just said.
    Aridela, Shrodingers drink and AnneM thanked this post.


     
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